Tears and Rain
by Rach CD McKenzie
Summary: Lucas is sick, really sick. Who will he turn to for support in his time of need? Leyton FINALLY Updated!
1. Sleepwalking

A/N Okay guys, this is my second OTH fic and guess what it's anotherLucas angsty thing! I just love to torture people, angst rules! So Basically this takes place in Season 3 but the following things didn't happen, Lucas doesn't have HCM, Nathan didn't come back from High Flyers, he comes back late. Brooke did "cheat" on Lucas with Chris and he isn't speaking to her, Haley did come back and Peyton didn't go to find Ellie again. So I hope you enjoy this! Please review and tell me what you think as I am always looking for advice so read and review pretty please!

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Lucas stifled yet another yawn as his eyelids grew heavier by the second. He blinked furiously trying to keep his eyelids from sliding shut but it was no use, They felt like they were made from lead as he glanced up at the clock, willing the bell to ring for lunch so he could go sleep in the locker room or something. Resting his head on his arm as the teacher continued to drone on about the spanish inquisition, he let his eyelids slide shut and sleep consumed him as he gave into the waves of tiredness.

Peyton chewed on the end of her pencil in frustration as she sketched lightly over her drawing, trying to get the eyes just right. She frowned and glanced up at the teacher who was oblivious to the boredom of his class, she just wanted the lesson to finish so she could get out of here. She glanced to her right and noticed Luke, his head resting in his hands, eyes closed and clearly asleep. That was the third time this week. At first it had been funny but now she was wondering why he wasn't getting any sleep? She didn't want him to get into trouble again. Putting her pencil down she glanced up at the teacher who was looking the other way and gave him a light tap. He jolted awake, his eyes snapping open and blinking wildy as he looked around bewildered. His gaze settled on Peyton watching him with a frown and he flushed clearly embarassed. He blinked a few more times trying to get the sleep from his eyes and sighed.

"Thanks…I uh…thanks." He mumbled quietly, looking down at the desk. Peyton chewed on her bottom lip uncertainly, slightly amused by his embarassment.

"No problem sleepy head, but that's like the third time this week and that's only in the classes I'm with you in. Why are you so tired?" She asked keeping one eye on the teacher who was still writing on the board and talking about something nobody was listening to. Luke yawned, his eyes watering. He didn't know what to say, he didn't have a clue why he was so tired. He just was, he was late to school because he couldn't get up in time and he got home from school and slept. Sleeping was all he ever did yet he was exhausted all the time.

"I guess I've been working too hard in basketball and I uh…I've got this assignment in English I've been working on." He lied not meeting Peyton's eyes. She arched an eyebrow knowing when Lucas was lying, she knew him too well but she wouldn't press the issue. It could wait. She turned back to her sketch and smiled slightly, she could never get the eyes right. She didn't think she ever would because they always changed, she gave up on the eyes for now and began drawing the basketball in his hands with a small smile on her face. A shadow fell over her sketch pad and she heard an impatient sigh, she looked up reluctantly and met the gaze of an irritated teacher.

"So do you think drawing is more important than listening in my class Miss Sawyer?" He asked as Peyton flushed and closed her sketch pad, sitting up straighter.

"I'm sorry sir." She mumbled.

"Well you'll have plenty of time for drawing in detention." He said with a smirk before walking back to the front of the classroom, she scowled glaring at him angrily. She looked across at Lucas who offered a sympathetic smile which she returned feeling slightly better. He had really been there for her this Summer and with everything with Ellie and she had been there for him after Brooke slept with Chris. They had gotten a lot closer again, she had missed being close to him.

She watched the clock tick slowly forward when a sudden shout made her jump slightly.

"LUCAS SCOTT! My Lesson is not time for sleeping! Detention for you as well and if it happens again you'll be seeing the Dean." He shouted at Lucas who was rubbing his eyes and staring down at his desk his cheeks flushing. This was getting ridiculous, why was he so tired? And now he had detention, what a great day this was turning out to be. At least it was with Peyton and if Mr Saunders was on detention duty he could definitely catch up on some sleep. Whitey was going to pissed that he would be missing practise.

definitely a great day so far.

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Peyton whistled quietly to herself as she ascended the stairs up to the library, absorbed in her i-pod as she bobbed her head to the new Fall out Boy track playing. She pushed open the doors and let out a sigh before collapsing into the nearest chair and throwing down her books. She began to work quietly, chewing on her bottom lip in concentration when she realised she didn't have the book she needed. With a sigh she got up leaving her work on the desk and walked over to the shelves on the otherside of the room. She scanned through the battered books quickly before pulling out the one she needed and dodged between the desks when she stopped. Lucas was at the desk across from her, head in his hands fast asleep again. She dumped her books on the desk and walked over her hands shaking slightly as she reached over to wake him. She shook him gently, just touching him sending shivers down her spine. She had to stop thinking thoughts like that, he didn't like her in that way. He was in love with Brooke, sure she had broken his heart but he still loved her. Brooke not her she had to keep telling herself that. He sat up slowly blinking rapidly and flushing again.

"We have to stop meeting like this." Peyton said with a wry smile as Luke stretched, she noticed how pale he was and just how exhausted he looked. His sparkling blue eyes were duller and surrounded by dark circles. Luke returned a weak smile sitting up straighter and surveying Peyton surreptitiously

"Yeah, looks like you can't resist watching me while I'm sleeping." He said with a smirk as Peyton laughed and leant back against the table, folding her arms.

"Which is all the time, seriously Luke…you should go home and sleep. There's no point you being at school if you're going to sleep through half of it." She said watching him as he looked down and gathered up his books.

"I can't, I have basketball and I already have to miss one tomorrow for detention and Whitey will be pissed." He said with a slight hint of desperation. She felt sorry for him, she really did she knew what Whitey could get like.

"But if you explain to him…" She started but she was cut off by Lucas.

"What and say I'm tired? That'll go down well…" He snapped. Peyton fell silent looking down at her hands dejectedly and Lucas sighed feeling bad, he didn't want to upset her. Seeing her upset was the worst especially if he had upset her.

"Sorry Peyt, I didn't mean to snap I just…I'm just so tired all the time and I don't know why and I'm falling behind at basketball. I know I shouldn't take it out on you, I'm sorry." He said apologetically, stifling another yawn as his whole body ached with exhaustion as his head throbbed. She rested a comforting arm on his shoulder and sighed flashing him a re-assuring smile which he returned.

"Just take it easy okay Luke? After basketball get some sleep, I don't want you getting ill or anything, then who will I survive through detention with?" She said with a smile.

"I'll be fine, thanks for caring though." He said as she walked over to her desk, picking up her i-pod. He looked over.

"The New Fall Out Boy?" He said interestedly as she looked up with a smile, he met her eyes and swallowed hard lost in them…

"Yeah, I could burn you a copy of the new album if you want. I'll drop it round later." She said wondering why suddenly it felt so much hotter in here. He grinned his tired blue eyes lighting slightly.

"That'd be great. Thanks." He said as Peyton went back to her work He smiled to himself, finding himself looking forward to tonight already…

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Lucas ambled up to the front door and opened it, his whole body drained from the disaster that was basketball practise. He had fallen behind too many times because he was so tired and Whitey ended up yelling at him and sending him home to get sleep when he fell asleep during a "pep talk", At least Nathan wasn't there to mock him but he would be back from his trip in a week or so and then it would all start again. He glanced at the recently painted black front door and sighed before dropping his bags and collapsing onto the couch and closing his eyes, exhaling loudly and throwing an arm across his face shielding his eyes wearily. His head was still pounding, he prepared to fall asleep when the door opened again and Haley bounced into the room with a smile on her face, she saw Luke lying on the couch and smiled.

"Hey Luke!" She said brightly, Lucas resisted the urge to groan knowing it would earn him a slap or a pillow to the face and so he opened his eyes and plastered a fake smile to his pale face.

"Hey Hales."

She walked over and began to look him up and down with a slight frown.

"You look awful Luke." She said cocking an eyebrow as Luke groaned and sat up with some effort.

"Gee Thanks Haley, I love you too." He said sarcastically as she rolled her eyes with a tut and collapsed onto the couch next to Lucas.

"No I'm being serious, you look like you haven't slept in weeks!" She said looking concerned as Luke leant back on the couch closing his eyes, he began to speak again his eyes still closed and his arm back over his face.

"Yeah well I feel like I haven't slept in weeks either, so what's up?" He asked as Haley leant back on the sofa and sighed.

"My shift at the café starts soon and I wanted to know if you could possibly give me a lift? I sprained my ankle in Phys. Ed." She said gesturing down to her foot. Lucas frowned and sat up slightly causing his head to spin…

"So the same ankle you bounded in here on? Haley think of a better excuse next time, I'll give you a lift in about ten minutes. Let me just go and get changed." He said heaving himself up from the couch with some difficulty. He crossed the room but stopped with a sigh when the doorbell rang. He turned round and Haley followed him pleased with herself as Luke opened the door.

"Hey Peyton." Luke said with a smile as she grinned back and pulled a CD from the pocket of her leather jacket.

"Hey, the CD as promised." She noticed Haley standing behind Luke and smiled slightly.

"Hey Haley." She said looking back to Luke who smiled tiredly and looked down at the cd holding the door open wider so Peyton could come in.

"Hey, I was just getting Luke to give me a lift to the café."

Peyton nodded looking back up at Lucas, he met her gaze and they stared at each other for a few seconds lost in each other's eyes before looking away. Haley watched them with a slight smile.

" Hey Luke I need to get down to the café as well to pick up some wages for the extra work I did last week." She said as Lucas rolled his eyes, already heading up the stairs

"Yeah sure, make yourselves comfortable…get a drink, you know where everything is. I won't be long." He said walking up the stairs, his head was pounding now and his eyes blurring. He gripped the banisters and inhaled deeply closing his eyes and waiting for the dizziness to pass. He heard Peyton and Haley laughing in the kitchen and desperately willed for this to pass. Everything ached, his bones, his head, he felt flushed and he could barely breathe…what was happening? He staggered to the top of the stairs and gripped onto the wall for support as he lurched forward his equilibrium gone. Still gasping for air he dropped to his knees with a thump and slid sideways everything going black.

Peyton put her glass down and stopped laughing when she heard a loud thump from upstairs, she glanced across at Haley who was wiping her eyes and still smiling. Her smile faded when she looked across at Peyton.

"What?" She asked as Peyton walked towards the stairs.

"Didn't you hear that? It was like a loud thump or something." She said turning back at Haley who shrugged.

"Lucas?" She called loudly up the stairs. When she received no reply she glanced back at Haley.

"Luke, are you okay?" She yelled starting up the stairs, quickly followed by Haley. A feeling of dread swelled in her stomach, she knew she was getting worried over nothing. Luke would pop his head over the top of the banisters and ask her what was wrong…but he had looked so terrible at school today…

"Luke?" Haley called loudly.

"Maybe he's got headphones on or something?" She offered chewing on her bottom lip as the ascended the stairs slowly.

"If we walk in and he's naked I think I'll be scarred for the rest of my life." Haley said as Peyton reached the top of the stairs her heart hammering in her ears. As she looked out onto the landing she inhaled sharply her heart leaping into her throat.

"Lucas." She whispered…

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A'N Okay so a major cliffhanger already! Yay, okay I know this part was kind of boring but I have to introduce the fic and set things up first to let the drama and angst begin so bear with me here, I hoped you liked it and please please review, the button is calling to you...give in! 


	2. Harder to Breathe

A/N Thanks for the fab reviews guys, I really appreciate every one of them. Please keep it up, hope you like this!

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Peyton dropped to her knees barely able to breathe as blood rushed in her ears, her heart in her throat. She stared down at Luke's limp form, his face pale and his eyes closed as he lay there. She heard Haley let out a small gasp from behind her but she barely noticed, all she could focus on was Lucas. She swallowed hard and reached out with shaking hands to wake him. She shook his shoulder gently causing him to loll sideways lifelessly. She felt sick.

"Lucas." She said shakily her voice cracking as Haley knelt down on the other side of Lucas looking down at him in mingled horror and shock. He didn't respond and the girls looked up, meeting each other's tear-filled gazes.

"Luke!" Haley said more urgently giving him a stronger shake, her hands trembling. As she looked down at her best friend with desperation, she didn't have a clue what to do. What was going on, he was fine a few minutes ago…

"What's wrong with him?" She asked panicked as Peyton shook him again.

"Luke! Can you hear me? Luke wake up for me…" She pleaded desperately her heart pounding. She watched him for a few more agonising seconds waiting for him to show any sign of movement or recognition, she let out a long exhale looking down at her hands as tears burned in her eyes when she heard a soft groan. She looked up sharply to see Lucas stirring slowly, groaning, his eyes fluttering. She felt relief was over her in waves as she saw the bright blue of his eyes and he stared up at her blearily, confused.

"P..Peyton?" He said weakly as he pushed himself slowly up on his hands, feeling dizzy, his whole body weak as Peyton helped him to shakily sit up and lean against the wall. He bought his hands to his face, cradling his aching head as he tried to focus in on the two girls who were staring at him worriedly.

"What? I uh…what happened?" He asked quietly avoiding Haley's gaze as she started at him determinedly, her eyes filled with worry. Peyton and Haley looked at each other.

"We uh…we were downstairs and we heard a noise and you didn't answer and then we uh…we found you passed out." Peyton said her hand resting on his shoulder as he closed his eyes and swallowed, he looked so weak and tired. There was definitely something wrong. He remembered going upstairs and then…then he was so dizzy.

"Luke I'm calling the hospital, this isn't normal." Haley said frowning at him as he looked up quickly his face pale and shining with a thin layer of sweat. Hospital? He couldn't go to the hospital? He didn't need to, they were fussing over nothing. Nothing? Who was he kidding? This wasn't nothing but still he didn't need the hospital. As Haley reached into her pocket for her cell Lucas looked up at her with pleading eyes.

"Haley please don't. I don't need the hospital okay, I just felt dizzy, I haven't eaten all day that's all. You don't need to call the hospital, please Hales." He begged as she looked across at Peyton uncertainly who seeing how desperate Luke looked let out a sympathetic sigh.

"Fine but we're calling your mom, no buts. Are you sure it's just you not eating Luke, you can tell me if something is wrong." She challenged locking her eyes on his. He stared back his head pounding as he felt guilt surge inside of him, should he tell her how bad he really felt? He should but then she would tell his mom and everyone would get worried and his mom didn't need that at the moment, she was busy. He sighed, if he could tell anyone it would be Peyton or Haley but he just couldn't. Not when this would all turn out to be nothing anyway. Peyton watched him her heart still pounding, she was so worried about him. Eventually he answered her.

"No I'm sure it's just that, I'm tired and I should have eaten something. It's stupid, it's nothing. But fine if you really think you have to call my mom then go ahead." He said as Haley smiled slightly and started to dial Karen's number. Peyton sighed slightly dissatisfied with his answer knowing there was something more to this but she would leave it for now. He looked to miserable for her to chase this up.

"Are you sure you're okay Luke?" She asked quietly whilst Haley was on the phone waiting for Karen to pick up. Luke looked up his head still pounding and Peyton was spinning in front of him, not to mention every bone in his body ached and he could barely catch his breath. He swallowed hard trying to concentrate on his breathing.

"I'm fine Peyton, you don't have to worry about me." He said with a weak smile. Peyton frowned.

"I know I don't have to but I do, you're obviously ill, you've been exhausted all the time, you just passed out and you look like crap." She said

"Gee you really know how to flatter a guy Peyt. I'm sorry I scared you, I just need to sleep. I'm glad you're here though." He said looking up at her, she flushed slightly and manoeuvred herself so she was sitting next to him. She glanced down at his arm and noticed a large purpling bruise forming around his elbow, she looked across at his other arm and noticed two other large bruises and she frowned.

"Luke, where did you get those bruises?" She asked, he looked confused for a second before looking down at his arms. He frowned, he couldn't remember getting those at all.

"I…I honestly don't know. That's so weird…" He said trailing off. There was a silence in which Peyton looked down at her hands, she was so worried about him. There was obviously something wrong. She just needed to know that he was okay, she needed someone to reassure her. She broke the silence after a while, taking Luke's hand. He looked up his skin tingling under her touch as his heart started to beat a little faster, lost in her deep green eyes.

"Luke, please promise me you'll go to a doctor. I need you to find out what is wrong, don't fight me on this because you know something isn't right. Please just promise me you'll go to a doctor. I can't lose you. If you're not here who will I trade music and books with? Who'll give me advice?" She said tearing up slightly as she looked down, unable to hold his gaze. Luke gave her hand a small squeeze and she met his eyes once more as his heart pounded faster, his dizziness fading slightly.

"You're not going to lose me Peyton, I'll always be here for you. I promise you I will always be here for you. I'll see a doctor if it makes you a happy, plus you're scary when you're pissed off." He added with a smile, she grinned tears shining in her eyes as she hugged him tightly.

Haley coughed interrupting the moment as Peyton and Luke broke apart, she shut her cell phone and knelt down by Lucas as Peyton flushed slightly and moved away from Luke.

"You're mom is coming Luke and I'll warn you in advance, she is going to kill you. But I will first if you don't get your ass off the floor and into bed." Haley said with a slight smile. Luke grinned tiredly.

"I second that." Peyton said getting to her feet and taking Lucas by the arm, Haley took the other and together they helped pull him up. The room began to spin and Luke stumbled slightly, leaning on Peyton and Haley who stumbled back as he tried to regain his balance.

"Woah there." Haley said as they straightened him up, it wasn't easy, two girls helping a 6ft 2 17 year old to stand up. Luke closed his eyes and sighed.

"Sorry." He mumbled.

"You alright?...If you say you're fine one more time bear in mind that I may have to kill you." Peyton warned. A smile flickered at the corner of his lips as he rolled his eyes.

"I was dizzy that's all." He said as they helped him across to his room. He collapsed onto his bed with a sigh grateful to be lying down. Peyton sat on the corner of his bed watching him carefully, he was so pale and the dark circles around his eyes stood out harshly against his pale complexion. At least he had promised to see a doctor, she just hoped he would be okay. He had been through enough already.

"uh guys…I uh…could you not tell Brooke about this? Or like…anyone?" He said quietly as Peyton looked across at Haley. Peyton felt a stab of sympathy, he looked so weak and tired.

"Sure Luke, we're not really seeing eye to eye now anyway." She said. Luke looked up surprised.

"Why not?" He asked curiously as Haley sat down on the other corner of Luke's bed. Peyton sighed.

"Well we kinda had an argument and now we're not really talking to each other." She said avoiding his eyes as Haley listened interestedly.

"What about?" He asked knowing he was being nosy, he didn't even know why he was keeping the conversation on Brooke usually it hurt too much to talk about her but with Peyton here it didn't seem to be that bad.

"You." Peyton mumbled. Lucas raised an eyebrow and sat up slightly leaning against his pillows. She continued

" Well you and Chris and…well yeah." Seeing Lucas's guilty expression she quickly continued

"But it wasn't all about you so you don't have to feel bad or anything, all this other stuff came up and well…now we're just not getting on. It's okay though." She said with a shrug and a smile. Even with what Peyton had just felt Lucas couldn't help but feel bad, in a way he had cost Peyton her best friend…again. He yawned widely and they all heard the door open downstairs.

"Lucas?"

Karen peered through the bedroom door and spotted Peyton and Haley sitting on the end of the bed whilst Lucas lay there. She was shocked at how pale he was, he looked so tired. He looked ill.

"Lucas honey, Haley called me. Are you okay? What happened?" She said quickly sitting down on the bed as Haley and Peyton stood up. She surveyed Lucas as he met her gaze, his eyes tired and dull.

"We'll be downstairs." Haley said excusing herself and Peyton as they left the room hurriedly. Lucas reluctantly watched them leave knowing his mother was about to go into mothering-overdrive, the way she always did when he was sick. Usually it annoyed him but she had been so busy lately maybe it would be nice to get a bit of attention for a change. Karen cleared her throat, clearly waiting for an answer from her son.

"I uh…I guess I passed out. I was feeling dizzy and…Peyton found me." He said trying to play it down. Karen reached forward and placed a cool hand on her son's forehead feeling for signs of a fever.

"Luke you're burning up. Have you eaten today?" She said stroking his hair lightly. Lucas shook his head, instantly regretting it as his headache sharpened making his vision blur slightly. Even with a hangover he had never had a headache this bad. She frowned at him obviously annoyed.

"Right well, I'm gonna make you a sandwich, get you a drink and then you're going to the doctors, no ifs or buts about it Mr." She said getting ready for an argument, Lucas hates doctors. When he didn't reply she looked up, raising an eyebrow as he stared down at his hands.

"What's this? No complaining?" She said picking up a few dirty dishes and empty glasses from around the room. Lucas let out a tired sigh, his stomach aching feeling like it was about to cramp. He felt so miserable, it felt like he had the flu and a hangover mixed together.

"There's no point, Peyton made me promise I'd go and maybe it's for the best." He said miserably. Karen sat back down by her son and looked him in the eyes with a sigh, she was really worried about him. He didn't look well at all.

"She's a good friend. You must be sick if you're agreeing to this, I'll take your temperature and ring the doctors, I'll see if he has any appointments free today. Now you get your butt under those covers mister and get some rest." She warned before kissing him on the forehead and leaving the room, taking the dirty dishes with her.

Lucas was left alone in the room and finally he could show how much pain he was really in, he let out a long groan and wrapped his arms around his stomach, sinking under the covers and resting his head on his pillow trying to ease the steady pounding. It felt like someone was trying to repeatedly kick a hole through his temples. He had never felt this bad before, he knew something was wrong but he was scared of finding out what it was.

As Karen left the room she could finally show how worried she was, he was too hot and he looked so ill and him admitting he was ill meant he must be really ill, he was as stubborn as his father. Thanks God Peyton and Haley were there, she needed to phone the doctor now. She hated having a sick child, she had been so busy with work that she hadn't even noticed how ill he must have been, she hadn't noticed he wasn't eating. God what kind of mother was she? She hadn't been around enough to notice her child was sick, she'd be there now though. She'd make him a doctors appointment and then maybe she could breathe easy for a while…

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A/N Again, sorry not a lot happened but as I said I have to build things up but seriously the next part is where it all kicks off so don't give up on me! Please please review and tell me what you think!

Next Time: Karen takes Luke to the Doctors and he finds out what is wrong with him and Peyton worries about Luke


	3. Discoveries

A/N Thanks so much for the reviews you are great, PLEASE keep it up. I live for reviews. Okay this isa really long part but I wanted you guys to find out what reallyis wrong with Luke so I had to make it long to get around to it. I hope you like and PLEASE review!

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"…So Mr Scott could you tell me exactly how you've been feeling for the past few days. What symptoms have you been suffering from?" The Greying doctor asked peering over his spectacles as Lucas leant back in the uncomfortable chair, shifting awkwardly. He wished he hadn't promised Peyton he'd come here, he just wished he was back in bed again. He looked across at his mother who gave him a warning look, she had already told him before they left that he had to tell the doctor everything.

"Um…well I uh…I guess I'm always tired and…I get headaches." He mumbled as he started looking down at his hands awkwardly. He hated this. The Doctor was writing stuff down on his clipboard.

"Bad? The headaches I mean." He said with a small smile which Lucas didn't return.

"Uh, pretty bad. Um…Sometimes it's like, like I can't breathe." He said feeling himself flushing red, this was so embarrassing. He felt so stupid. The doctor was nodding and Karen was staring at him, she swallowed hard. Her son had been going through all of this and she hadn't even had a clue, she hadn't been there for him. She had been too wrapped up in her work and her stupid idea about running for mayor; she had been too busy to even notice that her own son was sick. The doctor nodded scribbling away before looking back up at Lucas who was still fighting to stay awake; he didn't feel as bad as he did yesterday. The only good thing coming out of this was him missing detention.

"Okay is there anything else, I understand he had a fever yesterday?" He said looking towards Karen who nodded.

"103.7, but it's broken now." She said speaking up, happy that she could finally tell him something about her son making herself feel less useless.

"Is there anything else Lucas?"

Lucas frowned his head pounding again.

"Uh sometimes I get joint pain, first I thought it was just my bad shoulder but then it was in my knees and elbows." He said honestly. As the doctor scanned through his notes Lucas' thoughts turned to Peyton as they often did, he had wanted to thank her for last night but when he woken up her and Haley had left to look after the café for Karen and then he had slept again until this morning. Maybe he'd go and see her when school let out.

"Okay if you could get up on the bed and remove your shirt please." He said as Lucas groaned inwardly and pulled his shirt over his head making sure he aimed a glare towards his mother, he couldn't believe he had to do this. Karen couldn't ignore the bruises that dotted her son's torso and she bit back a gasp, where had he gotten all of these from? She really hadn't been there for him lately, he could be getting bullied for all she knew. The doctor frowned as he looked Lucas up and down.

"Where did you get these from?" He asked as Lucas shivered.

"I uh, I don't know. They might be from basketball or something." He said shrugging. The doctor nodded and scribbled on his clipboard. He then ran his hands up and down Lucas's sides feeling for anything and when satisfied returned to his clipboard.

"You can put your shirt back on now."

"Okay Luke judging by what I've heard today and what you're mother told me about what happened yesterday, I'm afraid it's necessary that you have some blood tests. It's nothing drastic it's just that the symptoms you described could be attributed to a number of different conditions and a blood test can rule several of them out or distinguish what is wrong. We can carry them out here and now if that would be easier for you?" He said looking towards Karen. Lucas sank down in his chair with an inward groan, he should have known this would happen. He should have just stayed at home, he hated needles. Karen shot him a sympathetic look as she began to talk over forms with the doctor and Lucas closed his eyes leaning back in the chair with an exhausted sigh. This wasn't fair, everything was going wrong. Nathan hated him and would be coming back in a few weeks, Brooke cheated on him with Chris Keller, he felt like crap and now he had to have blood tests. Great, just great.

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Peyton doodled absent mindedly on the corner of her notebook as she stared at the clock willing for it to go faster so she could get out of here and go and see how Lucas was. She knew he had gone to see the doctor earlier and she wanted to find out if he was okay or not. Lessons had been even more of a drag with him not there to talk to, she hated to say it but she missed it…

God! What are you doing? She asked herself angrily, she had to stop thinking about him like that. He was just getting over Brooke, her former best friend and he didn't think of her in the same way as she did about him. She was thinking stupid thoughts and it was time she stopped. Nothing was going to happen between them; she just needed to be there for him. To help him through this whole Brooke thing. She was okay with being his friend…Who was she kidding? It broke her heart every time he called her his friend because every time she longed for something more. Stop it, she told herself. She didn't love him, she was just being stupid. She was lonely and he was there, that's all it was. It was just infatuation. There was nothing there…

The Bell rang shrilly and she practically jumped out of her desk, shoving her books into her bag quickly as everyone shuffled out of the room. She had to go meet up with Haley then they would both make their way over to Karen's. She hurried down the corridor, her head down and her blonde hair falling low over her eyes when she ran straight into someone. She stumbled back with a slight gasp, picking up her books.

"Watch it Moron."

She looked up and came face to face with an all too familiar Brunette.

"Brooke." She said not trying to hide the disdain in her voice. She hadn't told Lucas how bad the argument between her and Brooke had really been, she didn't want him to worry. He didn't need it with the state he was in at the moment. Last time she had at least thought there was hope for her and Brooke but this time…they had taken things too far, things had been said that couldn't be taken back and their friendship was broken.

"You missed practise yesterday, happens again you're off the squad. You have an explanation?" She said coldly as Bevin and Rachel appeared at her side. Peyton raised an eyebrow and glared at her, pulling her bag over her shoulder.

"I don't think it has anything to do with you, now if you wouldn't mind…you're blocking the corridor and I have places to go." She said with a cold smirk as Brooke scowled.

Almost on cue Haley appeared waving at Peyton, Brooke turned around and saw Haley waving.

"Peyton what are you doing? Hurry up or we'll be late, Lucas is asking for you." She said with a smile, when she noticed Brooke her smile faded realising she had just put her foot right in it. She smiled weakly at Brooke, this was hard for her and she was the only one speaking to everyone at the moment and this was an awkward situation. Peyton had really been a good friend to her recently and had been there for Lucas and Brooke had really hurt him but Brooke was her roommate…she hated being caught in the middle of everything

Brooke swallowed trying to hide the fact she was slightly hurt and fixed a composed look upon her face.

"So, after my sloppy seconds again are we Sawyer? Why is it that you only want Lucas when I'm with him." She said as people in the hall started to turn around and stare. Peyton remained collected.

"Well Brooke you're not exactly with him anymore so what I do with Lucas is none of your damn business, you ruined your chances with him when you slept with Chris Keller." She said angrily, her fists clenching at her sides. A few people turned around and stared and people started to whisper as Brooke flushed slightly.

"You stay away from him okay? He doesn't want you, he loves me and there is still a chance for us." She said as Peyton let out a hollow laugh.

"Yeah right, keep dreaming Brooke. He'll never take you back after what you did to him. You screwed up, admit it." She said harshly as Brooke looked down slightly before meeting Peyton's angry gaze once more.

"I know I screwed up but I still have more of a chance with him than you do, so stay away from him." She warned her eyes flashing. Peyton sighed, she couldn't believe she was being like this.

"You know what you've changed Brooke, I used to know a girl who there was more to than pompoms and prom queens but you know what you're just a bitch. You know how much it hurts to be cheated on and yet you inflicted the same pain on another person when you know full well how much it hurts. You said you loved Lucas but you only wanted him because you couldn't have him and when you got him you didn't appreciate him. He is a great guy Brooke, perhaps one of the only decent guys in the world and you treated him like dirt. You don't deserve him and you never did. So you should be the one staying away from him. There's nothing going on between me and him not that is has anything to do with you. Now get out my way bitch." She said unclenching her fists, her heart hammering as she shoved past her, storming off down the corridor with Haley jogging to catch up. Brooke was left standing in the hallway, everyone staring and muttering to each other. Peyton threw open the doors to her car and jumped in before leaning over the steering wheel, breathing in and out heavily as she forced back the tears that were welling in her eyes. She heard Haley get into the car next to her and she hurriedly wiped her eyes.

"Peyton…"

"I'm fine." She said hurriedly before starting the car, Haley frowned.

"Somebody had to say the things you said and I bet Lucas will be glad it was you." She said softly, Peyton pulled out the carpark and smiled slightly to herself as they drove off to see Lucas

* * *

Luke pulled the blanket tighter around his shoulders as he began to shiver again, Karen had gone to pick up a few things from the grocery store quickly after he had convinced her to go seeing as the only food left in the house was an old tin of beans and a rather bruised apple left from when he had tried to teach Haley how to juggle. Another impulsive shiver gripped him and he groaned, wrapping his arms around himself in an effort to inject some warmth into him. The heating was turned up high but he just couldn't get warm. Karen had been fussing over him all day and his headache had just about subsided after a few strong painkillers which were now making him drowsy. He glanced at his watch, at least Peyton and Haley would be over soon.

He had been bored stiff all day; first there were the doctors where he had had to have blood tests which were not fun. He couldn't watch TV or read because it made his headache worse and he had slept the other half of the day. He wished he could just go and play basketball but every time he made a sharp movement his head throbbed and his stomach churned. He felt so miserable, he wished he could just get over this stupid illness. He didn't see why he needed blood tests, he probably just had the flu. He stifled another yawn as his eyelids grew steadily heavier, his head dropped sharply as he dozed off but he woke up startled as his head hit nothing but air. He jerked upright and rubbed his eyes trying to wake himself up but it was no use.

He was pulled from his sleepy daze when the front door opened and Haley stepped in, closely followed by Peyton. A smile cracked across his tired features as Haley bounded over to him, enveloping him in a tight hug.

"Luke! How are you feeling? How was your visit to the doctor?" She asked drawing back, Peyton stepped forward awkwardly looking amazing as usual and Luke hugged her, his heart hammering in his chest as he breathed in the scent of her perfume.

"I feel like crap and the doctor just made me feel worse. I had to have blood tests." He mumbled miserably as Haley felt a pang of sympathy for her friend knowing how much he hates needles. She collapsed down onto the couch next to him and Peyton followed suit deciding to keep quiet for now about her confrontation with Brooke.

"Aww Luke I'm sorry, I know you hate needles." She said patting him on the shoulder as he leant back against the couch closing his eyes and suppressing another shiver.

"You cold?" Peyton asked watching him carefully as he nodded slowly.

"Freezing." He said with a slight smile that made her heart melt. Haley frowned.

"Well I'm baking so you keep your blanket to yourself." She said tossing it towards Luke who accepted it gratefully.

"So how was school?" He asked the both of them a dull throb developing behind his eyes as the girls looked at each other.

"Pretty boring, apart from when Peyton let Brooke have it in the corridor!" She said ignoring the death glare Peyton was sending her. Luke raised an eyebrow looking towards Peyton.

"Oh really? What happened?" He asked, aiming the question at Peyton who flushed, she could kill Haley. She looked down at her hands and swallowed.

"Uh nothing she uh just…she was being a bit bitchy so we sort of had a public disagreement." She mumbled with a shy smile as Luke couldn't help but smile. With Peyton here it felt like talking about Brooke wasn't so bad anymore and it was nice to no someone was on his side but he couldn't help but feel bad, Brooke was Peyton's best friend and they weren't talking to each other and it was partly his fault.

"More than a public disagreement more like a verbal smackdown. I know Brooke is my roommate and everything but she had it coming." She said. Peyton looked across at Luke, she knew this conversation was making him uncomfortable so she hastily changed topics.

"So where's your mom?" She asked, Luke offered her a brief grateful smile for changing the topic.

"She had to go buy some food, cupboards are kind of empty."

"Luke? I'm home." Karen called, the front door opening. Haley grinned

"Speak of the devil."

"You need any help?" Peyton offered getting to her feet, Haley followed suit and Lucas wearily climbed to his feet before swaying unsteadily as his head spun.

"Yeah that would be great thanks. How are you feeling Luke?" She threw over her shoulder as he began unpacking groceries and putting them in the cupboards. Peyton and Haley were getting the other bags from the boot of the car. Luke shuffled over unsteadily his head pounding again. He ignored the overwhelming dizziness that was washing over him and began to help his mother put away the groceries. His visions was blurred and he could barely see his hands in front of his face. He pulled out a jar of something and was reaching up to put it in the open cupboard when a wave of dizziness overcame him, his head seared in pain and his stomach revolted as the jar slipped from his hand and hit the floor with a smash as the glass shattered spilling what appeared to be jam over the floor.

"Lucas!" Karen scolded seeing the jam but when she looked up and saw her son, leaning against the counter his hand over his face, head down and his face as white as a sheet she knew something was wrong.

"Luke honey? Are you okay?" She asked stepping over the broken glass and looking up into his face as he swayed slightly. He drew his hands away and she could see his eyes were glassy and overbright and his pale drained face was accented slightly by his flushed cheeks.

"No." He whispered as his mother took his arm gently and began to lead him slowly over to the couch as he swayed shakily. Haley and Peyton walked through the front door laughing as Karen tried to get Lucas over to the couch. They knew something was wrong as soon as they opened the door. Peyton dropped the bag on the counter and rushed over, taking Lucas's other arm as Karen nearly overbalanced. Together they carefully lowered him onto the couch where he lay breathing in and out shakily, his eyes closed. Karen was close to tears.

"Luke? What's wrong sweetie?" She asked as Haley rushed over. He swallowed hard the room still spinning around him as he opened his eyes.

"I don't know I…I was really dizzy and…I'm sorry." He mumbled as Karen felt his forehead, he was too warm. She could feel the heat radiating off him in waves but he was shivering. She swallowed hard.

Peyton watched as Lucas lay back on the couch his eyes closed looking paler than ever, she was really worried. This was bad; she had never seen him this sick before. She looked across at Haley who looked how she felt, lost and worried sick. Karen soothed Lucas before turning to face Haley and Peyton her eyes wide with worry.

"Could you get me a glass of water or something please?" She asked hurriedly as Haley rushed off to the kitchen to get some water whilst Peyton stood rooted to the spot, transfixed by the site before her. Only a few days ago she had seen him running around, playing basketball and now he was like this? She knew she was worrying unnecessarily, he probably had a bad case of flu. She decided to do something rather than standing there like a lemon, so she began to clear up the jam spilt on the floor hoping that she wouldn't have to see him like this ever again…

* * *

"Lucas honey, you need to wake up. The doctor called we have to go." Karen said softly as she shook her son gently awake. Peyton and Haley had left a few minutes ago and she was alone in the house again. The doctor had called saying they had the results of the blood tests back and they needed to discuss some things up at the hospital and further tests needed to be carried out. The fact he hadn't told her anything was making her more worried by the second and now she needed to take her son down to the hospital.

She shook him again gently and his eyelids fluttered open slowly and he groaned slightly.

"What?" He asked thickly shielding his eyes from the light that was shining in his eyes. He saw him mom hovering over his bed and he sat up slightly. He felt better now he had slept.

"The Doctor called, they got your blood tests back and they need to talk them over up at the hospital." She said sitting on the end of his bed and feeling his forehead.

"The hospital?" He mumbled confused. Suddenly he felt his stomach drop and he felt sick. If they wanted him at the hospital it meant they had found something, something bad. Karen, seeing the worried look that flashed across her son's face leant forward.

"Hey don't look so terrified, the only reason he wants us up at the hospital is because they want to do more tests which probably means they didn't find anything yet." She said trying to reassure herself at the same time as her son. He relaxed slightly knowing his mother had a point but still they could be calling him back because they _had _found something…

"Looks like you're fever's gone down. I'll get your stuff together." She said with a smile, Luke nodded and hauled himself out of bed. He definitely wasn't looking forward to this.

* * *

"I expect you're wondering why we've called you down here at such short notice and I'm sure you'd like to know so I'll just get straight on. We've got the results of the blood tests back and we found something unexpected." The doctor began looking down at his notes. Lucas attempted to swallow but his whole throat felt like sandpaper. He felt sick and it felt like his heart had leapt into his throat. His mom was squeezing his hand tightly but he still felt alone. The doctor continued

"It seems that you have an abnormal cell count in your blood, there seems to be too many abnormal white cells and not enough red cells, white cells or platelets. I know that is probably all medical jargon to you but basically it means we have to carry out more tests to determine what exactly is causing this and it could be a number of things. We're going to ask you to have a bone marrow aspiration test." He said as Karen leaned forward slightly looking across at her son who paled slightly, chewing on his bottom lip, his face blank and expressionless but his eyes revealing the fear he felt. She felt for her son, she really did. She couldn't imagine how frightening and wearing this whole experience must be for him.

"What does that involve?" She asked and Lucas sat up paying attention.

"Well basically we inject a thin needle into the hip bone to withdraw some bone marrow cells. The procedure is not too painful and will be done under local anaesthetic but the days following the procedure patients usually feel some discomfort in the hip area. We have time to do it tonight and you will probably have to stay in overnight for observation." He said talking directly to Lucas who nodded numbly, trying to take in all the information that was being dumped on him tonight. He was having a needle in his hip? Local anaesthetic? He should have never promised to come here, this would all probably amount to nothing and he would have gone through all of this for no reason. But he couldn't help but feel terrified at the same time. He was aware of his mom's eyes on him but he kept his gaze on the doctor knowing if he looked at his mom she would know how scared he was…

"Will I be able to go home tomorrow?" He asked croakily aware his voice was trembling slightly.

"It depends on the results, I'll call Pathology and let them know you're booked in for today. A nurse will show you to your room." He said with a smile. Luke nodded and he felt Karen give his hand a small squeeze. He couldn't process all of this, it wasn't fair.

* * *

Karen gripped her son's hand tightly as the doctor injected a needle into his IV saying it would take care of the pain and it would make him drowsy. . He looked up at her from his bed with wide desperate eyes and she knew he was silently begging her to get him out of this and it broke her heart. He had to go through all of this pain and there was nothing he could do to help. She felt tears sting in her eyes but she forced them back knowing she had to be strong for her son, she was being ridiculous. He would be fine, he was only having some stupid test. It didn't mean anything.

"Mom…" He said weakly his voice soft as his eyelids grew heavier, this medication sure did kick in quick. He didn't even feel scared anymore, he felt high. Maybe this wasn't so bad after all, he thought numbly as waves of drowsiness overcame him. He lay back ignoring the pain he knew was coming and he began to think of Peyton, he wished she was here. He wished Haley was here too, they would take his mind of things. They could make him laugh then maybe he wouldn't feel as scared as he did now. He barely registered his mother's soft soothing words at his side but suddenly he felt a blinding, stinging pain in his hip and he flinched, biting down on his bottom lip trying to block it out as he felt the needle in his side and a strong pressure on his hip. Local anaesthetic my ass…"you won't feel a thing", he thought bitterly to himself as tears sprung to his eyes. All he could focus on was the pain and he was aware he was probably crushing his mother's hand right now. Then suddenly it was gone, he could hear someone saying it was all done. He let go of his mother's hand and blinked quickly removing the tears from his eyes as his hip throbbed angrily. Through the realms of sleepiness he looked up at his mother and she smiled at him weakly.

"It's all finished, I'm so proud of you Luke…The Doctor said we'll get the results in a few hours. You can get some sleep now sweetie." She said softly as his eyelids slid slowly shut, he was just glad it was over…

* * *

Later on when Lucas awoke groggily his mother was still at his bedside and she greeted him with a tired smile. His hip was throbbing like hell and it felt like an elephant was sitting on his whole right side. Thanks to the sedative though he finally felt rested.

"Hey sweetie, you sleep well?" She asked him as he tried to sit up but the pain in his hip was too much causing him to wince and lay back against his pillows.

"Yeah…my hip…hurts." He mumbled groggily.

"Well the doctor is on his way down now so maybe he can get you some pain meds or something. Is there anything I can get you?" She asked going into mom mode again. He shook his head and sighed loudly.

"This sucks."

"I know sweetie, I know."

The door to Lucas's room opened and Dr Jackson stepped in with a brief smile.

"Nice to see you awake Mr Scott. Did you manage to get some rest?" He said clutching his clipboard and picking up the chart at the end of his bed and scanning down it. Lucas nodded and looked across at his mother nervously who gave him a reassuring smile.

"Good, I'll get the nurse to get you some more morphine for that hip of yours. We uh, we have the results back from your tests…We discovered the reasons for the cell abnormalities in your blood stream and I…I hate having to do this, I went over the results over and over but…I'm afraid you have acute lymphoblastic leukaemia."

* * *

A/N Sorry if the end was a bit rushed but like I said I wanted it all to come out at least by this chapter so there you go, you know what is wrong.

Next Time: Lucas's and Karen's reactions to the news and Lucas has to tell Haley and Peyton and someone makes a return to Tree Hill

Please review! I am hungry for reviews! Thanks


	4. We'll get you through this

A/N Thanks for the reviews guys! I'm really grateful and please keep it up. This is a nice long chappie for you full of angst! So enjoy and please review!

* * *

Leukaemia. Cancer…It felt like everything around him ceased to exist. He couldn't feel his mother's strong trembling grip on his hand, he couldn't feel the aching in his hip, he couldn't feel the dull throb behind his eyes. All he could do was play the words over and over again…Leukaemia. He was aware of his mother starting to cry silently when he felt her tears on his arm, but he didn't have the strength to comfort her…how could he? Shouldn't he be the one being comforted? He was the one with cancer…he could barely process it, cancer? The doctor carried on talking but he was barely listening. He knew he would die someday but, this way? He never thought it would be like this…how could he have cancer? He was fine a few weeks ago? How could he suddenly have cancer?

His throat felt like sandpaper as he tried to swallow, he was aware of hot tears burning in his eyes but he forced them back as he began to tremble. He felt detatched from his body as he forced himself to bring his attention back to the doctor as he numbly looked up, his blue eyes dark and round.

"…Leukaemia is a cancer of the white blood cells, ALL is a progressive malignant cancer which means the symptoms show up very quickly and yours seems to be a particularly aggressive case but you're lucky we caught it this early."

Lucky? Lucas thought to himself. Lucky? Yeah he felt really lucky right now. He could barely process this was happening, he kept thinking he would wake up in his bed and this would be a dream.

"This type of leukaemia is very common in children and also in adolescents such as yourself. I know this is a lot to process Lucas but you need to understand what will happen. Do you understand what I am saying?" He asked his eyes full of pity. Lucas met his gaze and wished he wouldn't look at him like that, he didn't want to be pitied. He swallowed with difficulty before answering.

"Yes." He whispered, his voice trembling. His mother's grip on his hand had now turned vice like and her face was pale as she looked up at the doctor.

" Okay I don't want you thinking the situation is hopeless because even though there is a low cure rate the rate of remission is a lot higher. There are many options you can take from here. But I won't discuss them now, I know you need time for this to sink in. I'll be back later to talk things over with you. I'm sorry, try and get some rest and I'll be back to talk to you later. Goodnight." He said nodding to Karen before leaving with one last sympathetic smile.

The door shut with a click and the room fell silent. Luke looked down at his hands as his vision steadily began to blur as tears gradually filled his eyes, his hands began to tremble as his shoulders shook as he swallowed through the painful lump forming in his throat. Suddenly he could feel his mother's arms wrapped around him and was breathing in the smell of her perfume as he let everything go. His shoulders shook violently as tears spilled rapidly from his eyes, his whole body trembling as he buried his face into his mother's shoulder as desperate sobs wracked his chest. He could feel her chin resting on his head as tears dripped slowly into his hair. She was whispering soft comforting words to him as tears rolled silently down her cheeks. They sat there in each other's arms as she cradled her son, her heart hammering. She could barely breathe, all she wanted to do was to curl up in a corner and cry for hours but she couldn't. Her son needed her, he needed her more than he ever had in his life and she wasn't going to let him down. Her son was sick and she would get him through this, she would make him better…

"Shhh honey, it's ok, it's ok…just breathe…oh honey." She whispered her voice cracking as several more tears spilled from her eyes. She didn't know how to handle this, but she would do the best she could for him…

Lucas felt her rubbing his back gently and he rested against her shoulder, staring down at the floor as his tears slowly ceased to fall. He was just sitting in her arms whilst she held him and he felt like a small child again, he felt helpless. He was helpless, there was nothing he could do that would make this go away, his mother couldn't make this better…What was he going to do? Nothing made sense anymore…

xxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxx

Haley and Peyton had called earlier asking about Lucas and it had taken everything Karen had not to break down crying on the phone, she told them he was having more tests and she would call them when Luke was up for visitors. She hated lying to them like this but she couldn't tell them, Luke had insisted it was his job and she couldn't betray him and…telling them would make it real. She hadn't slept a wink last night, the nurses had made her a makeshift bed in the large armchair in the corner of Lucas's room but she had sat there all night just staring at her son whilst he slept uneasily, his face pale and drawn with pain even in his sleep. She had stroked his hair gently and cried. Why did this have to happen to him? He was just kid, he shouldn't have to deal with this. No 17 year old kid should have to deal with this. She was confident she would get him through this but it didn't mean it wouldn't be hard. Once she had given up on trying to sleep she had just thought about it all night, all the money, the chemo, the medicine, how could she pay for it all? She would do everything she could for her son but…it was going to be so hard.

She just kept thinking about the moment they were told…her son had cancer. Just saying it made her feel sick, it terrified her. The thought that she could lose her son…she couldn't deal with it. She had watched the sun rise through the blinds and she looked down at her son and smiled softly as he stirred gently. She rubbed under her eyes, it was nice being able to do that without having her hand coming out black with mascara. Now without her makeup she could say how tired she really looked. Her face was pale and her eyes puffy and red from crying, her cheeks blotchy.

He stirred again and made a small indistinguishable noise before his eyelids fluttered slowly open revealing his startling blue eyes.

He focused in on the person in front of him and recognised it as his mom and he smiled slightly before it hit him where he was…he was in the hospital, he had cancer…it all came rushing back. It was real, it wasn't a dream. He was really here.

"Mom." He whispered gently, his voice hoarse and rough. She smiled at him and stroked his hair softly again.

"Hey sweetie, did you sleep okay?" She asked softly as he sat up slightly and winced, the pain in his hip returning full measure. Another reminder of what had happened last night…He grimaced and swallowed.

"Not great. What's the time?" He asked quietly as she looked down at her watch.

"Ten to ten. How are you feeling?" She asked pushing up his pillows so he could sit up.

"Numb…my hip still hurts. I guess…I guess I was hoping last night was all just a dream." He said looking down at his hands. Karen felt a stab of sympathy for her son and fought back tears as he met her gaze, his eyes glistening.

"Me too honey. Peyton and Haley called again." She said changing the topic, not wanting to upset him. She should keep the conversation light. She watched as his eyes lit up ever so slightly.

"I…How am I going to tell them mom?" He asked looking to her to help as she sighed and took her son's hand in hers.

"If you don't think you can do it it's okay. I can tell them if you're not ready." She said softly but he shook his head tiredly.

"I can't ask you to do that mom, anyway…it's my responsibility. They're my friends and they should hear this from me but, it's just going to be so hard." He admitted quietly, his hip aching painfully. Why was this so hard? He couldn't take it, he just kept thinking of everything that would change from now on …The silence was interrupted by a sharp knock on the door. Karen got up and made her way over to the door knowing what was coming. She pulled the door open and Dr Jackson stepped in with a smile.

"Good Morning." He said brightly, picking up the chart at the end of Lucas' bed and glancing down it quickly.

"How are you feeling Lucas?" He asked looking up at Lucas and shooting a brief smile to Karen and she weakly returned one. Lucas sighed tiredly.

"Alright." He mumbled miserably. He knew what was coming, the doctor was going to talk about his treatment…

"Okay, well let's get started then. Basically I'm going to run through your treatment programme with you and go over some details. Well I know I dumped a huge bombshell on you yesterday and I didn't really a get a chance to explain really what is actually going on. Leukaemia is a cancer of the blood and it causes an abnormal cell count which can lead to anaemia, bruising, which is probably why you've been getting those nasty bruises and it means that the blood can't clot properly which means small cuts can become very dangerous. Basically in Acute Lymphoblastic Leukaemia the normal symptoms and stages of Leukaemia develop far more quickly and the blood count deteriorates more rapidly which means we need to get treatment started as soon as possible."

Lucas nodded numbly barely processing the huge chunks of information being dumped on him. He still hadn't got used to the idea of him having cancer, let alone discussing it in detail.

"This cancer starts mainly around the lymphnodes but can sometimes spread to the spinal chord and around the base of the brain which would explain why you've been experiencing these headaches. Now enough of the technical side, I know this sounds alarming but it could be worse and this does make treatment easier. Basically you will have to go through cycles of chemotherapy to reduce the cancerous cells. This will be done in the hospital through an IV most likely. After each cycle you will have a period of rest to let your body recover and then the cycles start again. I know chemo can be very wearing but you're a strong young teenager so hopefully it wont take too much toll on your health in the long term. In the long term radiation may be introduced but it all depends on the results of the chemo."

Lucas swallowed hard, the familiar lump returning to his throat. Chemotherapy? That would make him feel even worse. He would get sick and…he…he would lose his hair and…this wasn't fair. He couldn't handle this. He wasn't strong enough for this. He felt Karen queeze his hand and she offered him a reassuring smile but he could see the tears in her eyes.

"I know this is a lot to take in right now especially when everything is still sinking in but we would like to start chemotherapy as soon as possible so we have the best chance of getting you into remission which is the main goal of leukaemia patients. It's probably best that you stay in hospital for a few days after the chemo and if you wish to stay at home for the periods between your chemo we can arrange for some home help to help out. I won't lie, you will get very sick and the side effects are wearing but it is the only way to recover." He said seriously as Karen frowned.

"Um I won't be needing home help, I can take care of him myself. I don't like the idea of a stranger looking after my son when he is sick. I can manage." She said. The doctor nodded.

"Yes but it will be very hard to deal with his condition and it is reccomended."

"It won't be necessary but thank you for the offer." Karen said firmly. She didn't need anyone else to help her with her son, she could do this. She would be there for him.

"Um…anyway I uh. I have some good news, as the chemo probably wont be scheduled until tomorrow, if you want to you can spend the night at home tonight."

A grin broke across Luke's face, he could go home? He could finally get out of this itchy gown, out of the plain white sheets and the disenfectant reeking rooms. The doctor noticed Luke's smile and grinned.

"I thought that option would be popular. I need to sort out some last minute details about tomorrow with your mother but after that you can go home." He said with a smile. Lucas grinned with relief and sat up as his mother smiled weakly and began to talk to the doctor.

He was finally getting out of here…but that meant he had to face Peyton and Haley. It meant he had to tell his best friends that he had cancer.

* * *

Karen had been gone for about half an hour, something about forms, insurance and appointments. Lucas scrubbed a hand over his face tiredly, he just wanted his mom to get back so he could get out of here. He didn't know how they were going to afford this though, did health insurance cover chemotherapy? What if it didn't?...How could they afford it?

He sighed deeply and lay back against his pillows, Peyton and Haley were coming to see him and he had been tyring to work out the best way of telling them but he realised there would be no better way, whatever he did the outcome was the same…He could barely even say the word out loud and…he was just scared because telling them made the whole thing real. He couldn't deal with this, all he wanted to do was sleep and dissapear. He wasn't ready for all this. He was pulled from his thoughts by a knock at the door, he sat up slightly and swallowed.

"Come in." He said hoarsely as the door opened and Haley and Peyton burst in. Haley immediately ran over to her friend and threw her arms around him and he winced slightly, ignoring the urge to cry out in pain.

"Luke! Oh my god, are you okay?" She asked hurriedly as she pulled away and brushed her hair from her eyes as Peyton stood back slightly, looking awkward. Lucas smiled at her weakly and she returned it, flushing slightly.

"I uh…I'm alright. So you bought me anything good?" He said avoiding the question and eyeing the bag which Peyton was holding. She smiled and made her way over to the bed before pulling Lucas into a gentle hug, noticing how Lucas had winced when Haley had lept on him. Seeing him in hospital like this was so scary, he looked so pale and exhausted…She drew back with a forced smile.

"As a matter a fact we have. I mean I know that hospital gown is ever so flattering but it's not really your colour so…" She trailed off reaching into the bag as Haley sat on the end of lucas' bed, watching him carefully. She pulled out some sweatpants his favourite grey hoodie and a grin broke across his tired features.

"Oh my god you're a life saver, I don't know how much longer I can stay in this thing! Plus seeing as I'm going home when my mom gets back, I don't really want to be going home in a backless gown." He said trying to sound cheerful but he couldn't help thinking he was going to have to tell them…they had to know. Peyton and Haley laughed and she chucked him the clothes which he caught gratefully.

"So what's been going on, do they know what's going on with you yet? They must do if they're sending you home right? Or was it just nothing? Is that why you're going home?" Haley asked incessantly babbling and Lucas felt a rush of gratitude when Peyton stepped forward sensing Lucas's discomfort and placed a hand on Haley's shoulder.

"Why don't we let him get changed and then he can tell us everything, is that okay Luke?" She said with a smile, trying to read his expression. Something was wrong, she could tell. But she wasn't going to press it, he would tell them what was going on in his own time.

"Thanks Peyt." He whispered as he sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. He was aware of them watching him as he unsteadily got to his feet and backed slowly out of the room not daring to turn around. He managed to get into the bathroom as Haley was laughing at him before he closed the door behind him and leant against it with a long sigh. He closed his eyes and breathed in and out deeply. He couldn't do this, it wasn't fair. They knew something was wrong. He ignored the dizziness that overcame him and continued breathing in and out deeply before steadying himself and beginning to pull on his clothes, pushing the oncoming tears back and sniffing. He could do this…

* * *

Peyton sat down on the end of the bed and looked across at Haley who was looking down at the floor, the smile now gone from her face Peyton could see how worried she really was, she looked how she felt: lost, worried and scared. She slowly reached across and gave her shoulder a gently squeeze causing Haley to look up and smile faintly.

"You okay?" She asked softly, Haley frowned and looked as if she was about to answer before closing her mouth and shaking her head.

"No, I know something's wrong…I can tell. I've known him forever Peyton and…something's not right and, I'm scared. What if it's bad?" She said turning to face her, her brown eyes glistening with tears. Peyton swallowed a painful lump forming in her throat before pulling Haley into a hug.

"It'll be okay Hales. If there's something wrong he'll tell us and if there is…we'll be there for him. It will be okay." She whispered.

They drew apart as the bathroom door opened revealing Lucas standing in the doorway, dressed in his sweatpants and hoodie. He shuffled back into the room with a faint smile, he couldn't help but notice the trace of tears on Haley's cheeks and he suddenly felt a pang of guilt. He felt a wave of dizziness wash over him and he stumbled slightly causing the two girls to sit up and grab him by the arms. He flushed in embarassment as they helped him sit up on the bed where he closed his eyes and sighed, waiting for it to pass.

"Lucas, are you okay?" Peyton asked hurriedly as he opened his eyes blearily and nodded.

"Yeah just dizzy." He mumbled. Peyton looked across at Haley worriedly.

"Should we get Karen?"

"No I'm okay, I'm fine now." He said looking up, both of them looking at him worriedly. He swallowed hard as Haley watched him carefully, her eyes full of concern.

"Luke what's going on? What's wrong with you?" She asked her voice trembling slightly as he looked up, his heart hammering and his blood rushing in his ears as tears burned in his eyes but he pushed them back. He couldn't cry. He looked across at Peyton who was watching him with the same expression of worry and he looked down defeated. He had to tell them…

"I…." He began his voice quivering slightly.

"Lucas…" Peyton whispered trailing off as she saw his blue eyes glistening. He looked at them both and breathed in deeply trying to steady himself. This was going to be harder than he thought, why couldn't he just say it? Suddenly his throat was as dry as sandpaper and his head was pounding…How could he tell them that everything was the same? That he wouldn't be the same person anymore…

"I…I have c…cancer. Leukaemia." He whispered not daring to meet either of their gazes, the silence that followed was deafening. He looked determinedly down at his hands, to scared to look up and see the damage he had caused.

"What?" He heard a tiny voice ask and slowly he dared to lift his head up and sure enough he met what he expected. Haley was staring at him, tears streaming steadily from her eyes and Peyton was stood there her arms folded around herself and her face pale and her eyes wide in shock as they glistened with unshed tears. He swallowed with difficulty as he felt hot tears pricking at his eyes and decided to focus on a spot directly between the two girls.

"The doctor he…he told me last night. I start chemo tomorrow." He whispered hoarsely as Haley choked out a sob. He closed his eyes trying desperately to push back the oncoming tears.

"Luke…" He heard Peyton whisper, her voice cracking. He opened his eyes and Haley scrambled off the bed sobbing and fled out of the room, the door clicking shut behind her. Lucas let out an audible sigh and placed his head in his hands. Peyton swallowed hard, hot burning tears now tracking steadily down her cheeks as she made her way shakily over to the bed where Lucas was sitting with his face hidden in his hands. She couldn't believe this, he had cancer. Cancer? How could this be happening, it wasn't fair. He was only 17. He didn't deserve this, no one did. What was she supposed to say to him? What could she do to comfort him? She eased herself gently down onto the bed and sat herself down next to Lucas, her heart hammering as she shakily wrapped her arms around him, snaking them around him and pulling him closer to her. He didn't resist, he sank into her embrace and she could feel him shaking in her arms.

"Oh Luke…I'm so sorry." She said her voice thick with tears as they fell quicker as she began to sob. She couldn't lose him…she…she loved him. She loved him. She rubbed his back softly and he leant on her shoulder, sniffing.

"I'm scared Peyt." He mumbled into her shoulder. He felt safer in her arms, he could smell her perfume and the smell of her shampoo.

"I know Luke, I'm scared too but I'm here for you. Me and Haley and your mom, we're all here for you and you'll get through this. We will help you through this and everything will be okay." She said desperately trying to comfort him even though she felt like sobbing her heart out there and then she knew he didn't need that, she needed to be there for him now.

"You'll get through this Luke." She whispered.

* * *

A/N So I know that wasn't fantastic but I've been busy and it was kind of rushed but hopefully you'll understand. Okay lots happening in the next few chappies! So keep reviewing and I will keep posting, you know the drill! Ta

Next Time: Lucas talks to Haley and has his first chemo, Someone returns to One Tree Hill and Brooke is suspicious of Peyton and Lucas..


	5. People always leave

Thanks for all the fabulous reviews! Please keep it up and I hope you enjoy this chapter, it was a bit rushed but hopefully it will be okay!

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Peyton shut the door behind her and leant against it, letting out a low sigh and closing her eyes. She felt tears building under her eyelids and she let them escape from the corners of her closed eyes as she let everything go. She didn't have to pretend anymore, she didn't have to put on a brave face. The tears started to fall faster and faster, rapidly rolling down her cheeks as a small choking sob escaped her throat. She had told Luke she would go check on Haley for him. She hadn't wanted to leave him alone but in truth she was glad to get out of there, she couldn't hold it in any longer. The last thing Luke needed was a sobbing teenage girl. She just couldn't believe this was happening? Cancer? Cancer killed people…what if he died? She couldn't lose him, she couldn't.

"Stop it" She told herself, she couldn't think like that. .

Opening her eyes, she sniffed and swallowed hard, blinking rapidly in a futile effort to stop the tears from flowing. She needed to find Haley like she had promised Lucas she would, she had to be strong. She couldn't fall apart right now, not when he needed her. She wasn't going to let him down.

Wiping her eyes quickly on her sleeves she started briskly down the corridor, looking down so as to avoid everyone's eyes. She hated people seeing her cry. She had an idea where Haley would be so she quickened her pace, ignoring the jelly sensation that was overtaking her legs as she took a left towards the restrooms. She stopped outside of the door and chewed on her bottom lip uncertainly, hoping that the pain her lip would make her forget about the pain she felt over Lucas…What would she say to her? How could she comfort someone who could lose their best friend to cancer? She swallowed and let out a sigh before pushing the door open, her hands trembling as she stepped into the bathroom. She was greeted by a strong smell of disinfectant and a resounding silence. She paused looking around when she saw one cubicle on the end of the row with a locked door. As she stepped further into the room the silence was accented by a choked sob. She edged closer to the door her blood rushing in her ears as the sobbing continued. She looked at the cubicle door before letting her gaze travel slowly to the bottom where she could see Haley's shoes under the door. She knocked lightly on the door her hands trembling as she heard a sniffle.

"Haley it's Peyton." She said softly. She waited for a repsonse but received none and she swallowed, she didn't know what to do or say. She felt totally hopeless.

"Haley I know you're in there. Please just talk to me." She said her voice cracking as she chewed on her bottom lip thinking of what Lucas would say to Haley. He always knew what to do. The silence that greeted her was deafening. Eventually Haley spoke.

"I don't know what to do Peyt." She heard Haley whisper. She blinked quickly, tears forming in her eyes. She didn't know what to do either, she didn't know how to deal with this.

"I know Hales I know…but you have to talk to him. He's scared and alone and he needs his best friend right now." She said wishing she had someone to comfort her.

Haley sniffed, wiping her eyes with a tissue as the tears continued to flow.

"I'm scared too Peyton, I can't lose him! He's my best friend and he's sick. What if he never gets better? What am I going to do without him?" She cried her eyes burning with tears as she rested her head in her shaking hands. Peyton looked down at her feet, tears dripping slowly from her eyes.

"Haley you can't think like that. We're not going to lose him, he'll get through this and he will get better and we will be there for him for the whole thing! He wont be able to do this if he doesn't have you there with him." She said still speaking to the floor. She heard the sliding of a lock and she looked up to find Haley standing in front of her, her eyes red and bloodshot and her cheeks blotchy and tear-stained.

"Why him Peyton? There are billions of bad people in the world and this had to happen to him? It's not fair." She said her voice wavering as fresh tears tracked down her cheeks. Peyton felt hot tears trickling from her own eyes as she pulled Haley into a hug, the two girls crying in each other's arms.

"I don't know…We just have to be there for him, this is going to be so hard on him and we have to be there. You just have to stay positive…" She said realising how pathetic she sounded but there was nothing else she could say.

"Do you think you can go and see him?" She asked her softly as Haley wiped her eyes and met Peyton's eyes. She nodded gently, chewing on her bottom lip as Peyton led her out of the room…

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

23, 24, 25, 26…

Lucas had resorted to counting ceiling tiles in order to try and stop himself from running over everything that had happened in the past few days, he couldn't help replaying the look on Haley's face when he told her, the tears in Peyton's eyes when she hugged him. The way her voice had sounded when she told him she would be there for him…He yawned widely his head still throbbing slightly. He couldn't believe this was really happening, he really did have cancer, he was having chemotherapy tomorrow and it would all begin. He would just have to take one day at a time, he was trying to stay calm and act like he could deal with this but in truth he was terrified…he had never faced the prospect of death before, he didn't think he'd have to for a long time but…people died of leukaemia, lots of people what if…what if he was another one of those statistics that the doctor had run through?

He was pulled from his thoughts by the door to his room opening, he looked up and saw Haley standing in the door way, wringing her hands like she always did when she was scared or nervous and fighting back tears. He offered a weak smile which he was sure had turned out as more of a grimace. Tears started to fall and he swallowed hard before sitting up, ignoring the dizziness.

"Oh Hales…come here." He said opening his arms as she walked over before sinking into his arms, curling her own around his neck and crying softly on his shoulder. He rested his chin on her shoulder and looked towards the door where Peyton was standing, her hands in her pockets and smiling slightly. He smiled back at her, his heart hammering as Haley sniffed and drew away wiping her eyes.

"I'm sorry Luke…I'm sorry I walked out I…" She began shakily but Lucas cut her off with a small smile.

" Hey, I understand. It's okay." He said softly giving her a reassuring smile as best as he could. Haley shook her head gently and sniffed.

"It won't happen again, I'm here for you Lucas…me and Peyton. Anything you need." She said realising how cliché is sounded. Lucas nodded and looked over at Peyton who was looking down at the floor.

"Uh there is one thing I need to ask you." He said as Peyton looked up and Haley shifted slightly.

"Anything."

"Uh could you um…like not tell Brooke or anyone at school about this?" He said nervously as Peyton tucked her hair behind her ears.

"Of course not, anyway me and Brooke aren't exactly on speaking terms." Peyton said raising an eyebrow and smiling slightly causing Lucas' heart to skip a beat. Haley noticed Luke's expression and bit back a smile.

" Sure Luke." She said as he smiled slightly. She looked between Lucas and Peyton and frowned, they were avoiding each other's gazes and when they did catch them they flushed and looked away or smiled like idiots…something was definitely going on with those two. They were suddenly interrupted by the door opening again and Karen sticking her head through the door, shooting a nervous smile to Haley and Peyton.

"Oh…hey guys." She said uncertainly as she stepped into the room looking to Lucas not knowing whether he had told them yet or not, she didn't want to put her foot in anything. Haley and Peyton turned around and smiled.

"Hey Karen." Haley and Peyton said at the same time. Lucas nodded slightly at his mother and she understood, giving him a small smile. Peyton and Haley looked at each other, not sure of what to say next and an awkward silence ensued. Karen swallowed slightly.

"Luke, everything is arranged for tomorrow and you can go home whenever you're ready. Which by the looks of your clothes is now." She said with a smile to Haley and Peyton knowing they were responsible.

"So how are you feeling?" She asked Lucas seriously as he sighed.

"Like I want to go home." He mumbled grumpily and Haley and Peyton exchanged glances before standing up

"Well we have to go now but is it okay if we drop by later?" Haley asked Karen who smiled and nodded.

"Yeah that's fine, right Luke?" She said turning to face him. He smiled and nodded, dissapointed they were leaving. Haley reached over and pulled Lucas into a gentle hug.

"I'll see you later, we can hang out and watch a dvd or something?" She said with a smile and Luke nodded.

"Sounds great, if I'm not asleep." He said. Haley nodded and stepped back, watching him worriedly. Peyton leant forward, her heart hammering as she hugged him, shivers racing down her spine. Lucas ignored the blood rushing in his ears as he drew away from Peyton as she looked at him awkwardly, studying her face, his eyes lingered on hers before he looked away embarassedly.

"I'll see you later Luke, take it easy yeah?" She said with a smile before joining Haley and leaving the room. Karen watched her son curiously as Peyton left the room, was there something going on between them that she didn't know about? She pushed it to the back of her mind as she sat on the corner of his bed and watched him carefully.

"So how did they take the news?" She asked softly, causing Lucas to look up and sigh.

"As well as can be expected I suppose but they said they'd be there for me though." He mumbled quietly. Karen swallowed blinking back tears as she watched her son.

"Oh Lucas, I'm so proud of you. Just make sure you stay strong okay honey?" She said hugging him and he winced slightly, his hip flaring with pain. They drew apart.

"So you ready to get out of here?"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Lucas collapsed onto his bed with a sigh, burying his head in the soft sheets that didn't stink of disinfectant. He stared up at the familiar ceiling before looking around the room, he looked across at his bedside table and noticed a framed picture of himself and Brooke, he groaned inwardly before turning the photo over so it was face down. He wished he could just forget that he was ever with her but he couldn't, just like he couldn't forget he was ever with Peyton but…the difference was, he didn't want to forget he was ever with Peyton. He didn't get, suddenly every time he saw her he couldn't keep his eyes off her and whenever she spoke to him it was like his heart started beating faster. Why was this suddenly happening to him? It was like whenever he was near her he couldn't breathe and everything just slowed down again…he couldn't be…he couldn't be in love with her again could he?

It would explain everything but…he couldn't be, she felt nothing for him. They were friends, just friends. And it wasn't as if she would ever take him back after what happened.

He was just being stupid, he couldn't love her…

But he did

He loved her…He had the worst timing, nothing could happen anyway, he was sick. No one would want him if he was sick and he wouldn't be able to deal with relationship stuff at the same time…He was just being stupid that was all. He was fine being friends…

He wasn't

But he'd have to be.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Peyton turned the radio up full blast as she drove speedily down the roads, not caring where she was going. She just had to keep driving, she had to keep moving. The music thumped in her ears as she rounded a corner speedily, the cold wind driving at her face numbing it as tears rolled down her cheeks. The wind roared in her ears as her golden hair blew about her face. She could feel cold droplets landing on her face, her arms, her head as the rain started to fall, softly at first before coming down harder and harder. Her windscreen wipers sliding rhythmically across the windscreeen as the rain pelted steadily down, her hair now drenched, her clothes soaked as she shivered. The tears started to fall softer as she began to sob. She slowed down, releasing her foot from the pedal and pulling over to the pavement. She folded her arms over the steering wheel and rested her head in the middle before dissolving into desperate sobs.

_People always leave_. Everybody leaves in the end. Now him, now he was going to leave her and she would be alone again.

The warm tears contrasted against the cold rain that was now falling from the darkened sky as the clouds groaned and rumbled ahead. She wasn't going to let him leave her, he had promised he would never leave. She loved him and she couldn't lose him…

Whitey walked hurriedly down the sidewalk, pulling the brim of his cap lower over his eyes in an effort to hold out the fast falling rain. He had only taken a short walk and now it was pouring…he stopped noticing a car pulled up on the sidewalk ahead…a familiar car with the top down. The top down in the rain? Then he remembered why he recognised the car, it was Peyton's He walked forward curiously when he saw her, hunched over the steering wheel, soaked through the skin and sobbing…Uh oh, this definitely wasn't good. He quickened his pace before he drew level with the car…

"You know you're gonna catch pnuemonia out here."

Peyton's sob hitched in her throat as she heard a familiar Southern Drawl. Sniffing, she slowly looked up and was met by a soaked Whitey looking down at her sympathetically.

"I know something's gotta be pretty wrong for a girl to be sitting out in the rain after she's straightened her hair." He said with a slight smile. Peyton laughed weakly, warm tears mingling with the rain drops on her face. She tried to repsond but no sound came out.

"Boy troubles?" He offered. Peyton swallowed

"You could say that…it's…it's Lucas" She stammered her voice cracking. Whitey rolled his eyes, he always had a soft spot for the boys but it seemed like he couldn't stop causing trouble with the Tree Hill Women…

"What's he done this time?" He asked with a sigh as Peyton wiped her eyes but it was useless as the tears and the rain kept falling. She shivered slightly, suddenly aware of how wet she was…

"No no…he hasn't done anything it's just…" She began before she began to cry softly again. White paused interested…something was definitely very wrong…Peyton paused remembering what she had promised Lucas but that was about Brooke, Whitey would have to know at some point…

"He's sick Whitey…Really sick. He's just got out of the hospital and and…he's got cancer!Leukaemia" She sobbed desperately, lightning illuminating the sky. Whitey took a step backwards, stunned. Thunder rumbled in the sky and he swallowed hard. Cancer? The kid had cancer but…he was only 17. He had shouted at him for being tired at practise and it was because he…he had cancer….It bought back so many many memories of Camilla. The poor guy, he was just a kid. He didn't know what to say…

"Oh Peyton…I…How is he?" He asked. Peyton supressed a sob and looked down at her drenched lap as she shivered again.

"He's at home with Karen, he's handling it for now but…I'm just so scared that I'll lose him. I can't lose someone else." She said desperately. Whitey rested a hand on her shoulder gently, ignoring the driving rain that was falling in torrents. He couldn't believe this.

"You won't lose him Peyton, he's strong, he's too stubborn to let this beat him." He said softly. She looked up at him, her eyes red and blood-shot andher golden hair hanging around her shoulders, drenched and dripping water.

"That's what everyone is saying but this is just so hard. I'm trying to be strong for him but it's so hard to stay strong when this is breaking my heart." She said desperately. White felt his heart ache for the girl as she poured her heart out.

"I know but you just have to try, if there is one thing I learnt from Camilla it's that you just have to be there for them. Just be there and he'll appreciate it…Come on I'll drive you home." He said gesturing towards the car. Peyton swallowed and sniffed before nodding slightly and sliding across to the passenger seat.

Xxxxxxxxx

Karen put the soapy dishes down as the doorbell rang, it was probably Peyton and Haley she thought…Lucas was sleeping in his room. She sighed and wiped her hands before pulling open the door. Her mouth fell open and she let out a small gasp…

"Keith…"

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A/N So please leave a review and tell me what you think! Oh I know some of you were wondering when Nathan comes back but it will be very soon and he will find out about Lucas so don't you worry!

Next Time: Keith finds out about Lucas, Lucas has his first chemo and it's harder than he thought.


	6. Surprise visitors

Karen stood there, rooted to the spot as she gazed up at the man in front of her as he stood there dripping with rainwater, a man she didn't even know that she would ever see again. Her expression of disbelief broke into a grin as she launched herself upon him, throwing her arms around him tightly and pulling him into a hug which he returned with a slightly breathless laugh. He grinned and slowly raised his hand and placed it on the back of her head, feeling her soft hair beneath his fingers. God he had missed her so much…

"It's good to see you too." He mumbled with a smile as she pulled away laughing, her eyes bright as she looked up at him.

"Oh Keith, I missed you so much! How are you? Where have you been all this time?" She asked, questions flowing out of her mouth as she stepped back letting him into the house. He stepped in looking around the familiar house with a grin.

"Well I went to go and find Jules or should I say Emily but I guess…things didn't really work out." He said stuffing his hands in his pockets.

"I'm sorry Keith." She said comfortingly but he shrugged it off.

"Don't be, I'm not. It's probably for the best anyway because now I can be where I belong and be with the people I love."

Karen smiled, she could feel herself blushing and she looked up at Keith smiling. She was so glad he was back.

"So where's Lucas?" He asked as Karen paused looking down at her hands uncertainly. Oh god, how was she going to tell him? How would he react? She needed to talk to Lucas about this…She looked up realising she had been silent for too long and forced a smile.

"He's uh, he's sleeping." She said quickly knowing that Keith knew something was up. Maybe if Keith was sticking around she'd have some help in all this…Keith frowned.

"Sleeping at this time? Either he's gone to bed really early or he's only just got in from last night." He said with a grin as he looked at his watch. Karen smiled weakly and swallowed. Should she tell him now? No…she should ask Lucas first, this would have to be his decision.

"He's just tired, he's had a rough day." She said

"So are you planning on sticking around?" She asked, quickly changing the subject as Keith looked at her uncertainly.

"Yeah I was actually…" He said with a smile and this time Karen smiled genuinely. They stood there just looking at each other when the moment was interrupted by Lucas shuffling through the doorway into the kitchen kitted out in sweatpants and a t-shirt, yawning. Keith looked up and swallowed at his nephew's appearance, he was almost a shadow of his former self. The usually bright, confident, athletic boy was replaced by a thin, tired pale boy. God he had lost so much weight, he had huge dark circles under his eyes and he practically looked like a ghost.

Lucas looked up in mid-yawn and did a double take as he saw his Uncle standing in the hallway, soaked but his Uncle Keith all the same. He stopped, staring. He was back? Keith was back…

"Keith?" He said questioningly before Keith grinned and stepped forward pulling Lucas into a tight hug, Lucas grinned before hissing slightly as his hip flaired in pain. Keith drew away immediately as if he had been burned looking at Lucas worriedly as he doubled over and Karen rushed forward.

"Lucas?" She said worriedly as Lucas straightened up, his face pale.

"I'm okay, it's just my hip don't worry." He said standing straight and looking at Keith…he was going to have to find out, he was going to know what was wrong with him…

"What's going on?" Keith asked as Karen looked back at him her face pale and worried, he only just noticed how tired she looked…like she hadn't slept in days. What was going on? Karen opened her mouth as if to say something but she was cut off by Lucas.

"I uh, I just hurt myself in basketball the other day. It's nothing." He said unconvincingly as Keith just nodded.

"Sorry kiddo." Keith said with a slight smile. Lucas nodded, it was good to see his Uncle again but if he didn't go back to bed now he was sure he would pass out there and then. He looked at him mom and then back at Keith, he wanted to stay and catch up…

"I uh, I'm sorry…Can we like catch up tomorrow because I think I might fall asleep on you if I don't get back to bed." He said with a smile which Keith struggled to return as he looked at his nephew. He nodded.

"Sure, you get some sleep…looks like you need it." He said as Lucas nodded and shuffled back out with a small wave. Keith looked across at Karen who looked more worried by the second before she looked up at him.

"I uh, I'm just going to go check on him. Make yourself at home." She said with a fleeting smile before she hurried after her son. He sighed as he watched her go, something was definitely wrong. He knew it, Lucas looked terrible and was sleeping at about 3 o clock in the afternoon and Karen looked like she hadn't slept in days and more worried than he had ever seen her…

Karen knocked softly on Lucas' bedroom door before poking her head around the door, he was lying on his bed curled up under the duvet and staring at the wall. She sighed and he looked around and offered her a weak smile.

"Hey" He mumbled. She smiled and edged into his room before sitting on the end of his bed.

"Are you okay?" She asked him quietly as she stroked his hair softly, he didn't even bother to protest like he usually did. He turned to face her and sighed.

"Yeah I just, didn't expect Keith to just show up. I didn't think he was coming back." He said whilst fiddling with the corner of the bedspread. There was a pause before Karen looked into her son's tired blue eyes.

"Are you going to tell him?" He asked her.

"I'll only do what you want me to honey. It's up to you what happens." She said softly as he looked up at the ceiling.

"I should tell him but it's like, I just don't have the energy and I don't want to see his face when I do…not after today. Do…do you think you could?" He asked uncertainly fixing his eyes on hers.

"Of course I can honey." She said tears welling in her eyes, she was so proud of how he was handling this. When did he grow up so fast? She leant forward and kissed his forehead softly.

"Get some rest sweetie, you'll need it for tomorrow and you know Haley and Peyton will drop by later." She said with a smile before he felt her weight leave the bed, he yawned widely his eyelids getting heavier as they slowly drooped closed…

As Karen walked out the door she came face to face with Keith, he looked at her a confused, curious expression on his face as she looked up at him knowing she had to tell him. She had to tell him that his nephew, practically his son had cancer. A 17 year old boy that he loved as his own son had leukaemia. He looked down at her before speaking.

"What's going on Karen and please just tell me the truth because I know something is wrong." He said serisouly as Karen looked away tears burning in her eyes as a painful lump formed in her throat. She tried to keep the tears back but they burst from her eyes, rolling down her cheeks steadily as she began to cry. She felt Keith's arms around her and she found herself being led to a chair. She grasped at Keith's shirt like a small child as she cried in his arms. She swallowed hard, and blinked quickly to try and push back some of the tears and she sat there in silence for a few seconds whilst trying to regain her composure. When she finally trusted herself to speak without breaking into sobs she sat up and faced Keith and found his deep brown eyes full of worry and his brow furrowed.

"It's Lucas." She whispered softly, her voice wavering slightly. Keith nodded gently and swallowed trying to prepare himself for what was coming…

"What's wrong?" He asked her gently as she sniffed, tears still leaking silently from her eyes as she looked down before gradually meeting his eyes again, hers full of desperation and pain.

"He…He…he has cancer. He has leukaemia." She whispered her voice cracking as she began to cry harder. Keith numbly put an arm around her as he stared straight ahead trying to process what he had just been told. Whatever he was expecting, that wasn't it. Lucas had cancer. But, he was just a kid? He didn't deserve this, why was this happening? He was 17 for christ's sake. He felt numb all over as he comforted Karen, his mind detatched from his body. It explained the kid's appearance, poor kid. He couldn't believe this…cancer? But he was young, fit and healthy, how could this be happening.

"W…when?" He stammered unable to form a whole sentence, not trusting his voice to last as he felt moisture in his eyes. Karen licked her lips and tasted salty tears as the rain pattered steadily against the window as the rain drove down outside…

"We only found out yesterday at the hospital…he…starts chemo tomorrow…Oh Keith this isn't fair! Why does this have to happen to him? What did he ever do to deserve this? He shouldn't have to deal with this, he's just a kid!." She cried beginning to sob as Keith held her tightly, pulling her close to his chest and resting his chin on top of her head as she sobbed in his arms. He felt heat on his cheeks as his vision blurred with tears.

"I know but I will be here through everything. I'm not ever leaving again, I'm gonna be here for the both of you through all of this. I'll do everything I can and he will make it through this, we all will." He said firmly even though he had begun to tremble. He would never let them down again and he would be there…

* * *

Later

Peyton looked across at Haley as they waited for the front door to open, she shivered slightly as the wind picked up, blowing her hair over her eyes. She scraped her curls out the way and sighed, she hadn't had time to straighten her hair again and now it was curly and wild. She still felt embarassed over her little melt down in the rain but what Whitey said had really got through to her, just needed to be there for him. There was nothing else she could do. Finally the door opened and Haley and Peyton let out a little gasp of surprise as they saw Keith standing in the doorway.

"Keith!" Haley said with a small shriek before hugging him. Peyton smiled and hugged him awkwardly, she didn't know him that well but it was good to see him again.

"You're back!" Haley said with a smile, Keith grinned.

"Looks that way, come inside it's disgusting out there." He said opening the door wider to let the two girls in. They stepped gratefully into the warmth and closed the door behind them.

"Uh Luke's in his room, he should be awake . If not you're welcome to watch some TV or something." He said feeling awkward as he let them into a house that wasn't even his.

"Where's Karen?" Peyton asked looking around and seeing that the rooms were empty.

"Oh she's sleeping, I think she needed some rest." He said as Peyton and Haley nodded.

"We'll go check on Lucas, welcome back though." Haley said with a smile as Peyton followed her through the hall into Lucas' bedroom. The door was open and they could see Lucas sitting up on the bed, leaning against the wall and listening to some music on his i-pod. Peyton smiled as she watched him bop his head gently to the rhythm. Haley bounded in, immediately catching Lucas' attention, causing him to look up and pull the headphones from his ears and smile weakly.

"Hey guys." He said as Haley hugged him gently and Peyton put down the bag she was carrying and she bent forward and hugged him too, the embrace lingering for slightly longer before they pulled away.

"How're you feeling?" Haley asked immediately. Lucas sighed.

"Glad to be home I guess, tired, the usual. My mom told Keith everything." He said as the two girls looked up interested.

"Yeah, he took it pretty well actually. He's sticking around. I'm glad though, at least now my mom will have someone to be there for her through all this." He said as Peyton sat down on the end of his bed.

"So, we have something for you." Peyton said with a smile as she reached back for her bag. Lucas sat up slightly and frowned and Haley and Peyton.

"Well as tomorrow is going to…well…suck, we bought you some stuff to keep you occupied and your mind off…" She trailed off

"Puking?" Lucas added miserabley and Haley shot him a look that silenced him.

"I was going to say the chemo but fine your word fits too, so…we got you a bag of junk." She said with a smile as Peyton handed him the bag.

"A bag of junk? How did you know?" He said sarcastically as Haley scowled and Peyton laughed.

"Just open it." She said with a smile glad that Lucas was in a good mood. He looked down at the bag suspiciously before opening it, he started to grin as he pulled out various items from books, CDs, magazines to a game of scrabble.

"We thought it would help make your time in the hospital more bearable." Peyton said as Lucas grinned and looked up at them both.

"I don't know what to say…thank you so much guys." He said feeling himself blushing as he hugged them both, ignoring the pain in his hip and his throbbing head. Haley and Peyton smiled both pleased that they had managed to put Lucas into a better mood. They looked back at Lucas and noticed as he shivered slightly.

"You cold?" Peyton asked as Lucas looked at her and nodded.

"Yeah um, could you just get my hoodie out the closet. I would usually get up and get it myself but Haley is crushing my feet." He said as Haley let out a cry of protest. Peyton grinned and got up, heading over to the closet. She rummaged through some of his clothes, breathing in the scent of his cologne and looking at the basketball posters pinned to the back wall and she smiled to herself. She looked through the shelves with his hoodies on when she felt something underneath one of them, curiously she pulled it out as she heard Lucas and Haley laughing in the background. It was a box, looking around quickly she opened the top and swallowed a gasp as she ruffled through the contents. It was the box…the "Peyton box" Brooke was talking about. She looked through the various photographs, letters, a small teddy bear, a hair scrunchie and finally the sketch she remembered drawing so well…She traced her fingers lightly over it, reading the quote…_And now we can have it_. She felt her heart hammering against her chest as she stared down at everything…

"Peyton are you lost in there or something?" Haley called out causing Peyton to jump slightly. She quickly put the lid back on the box and shoved it under the pile of clothes before grabbing a hoodie and stumbling out of the closet, her face red and her heart still racing.

"Sorry." She said flushing. She tossed the hoodie to Lucas who pulled it on gratefully.

"Thanks…God Haley my legs have gone dead!" He said as Haley scowled and Peyton laughed nervously, her thoughts still lingering on the box…it bought back everything from their time together..

"Yeah well I may be heavy but at least my hair doesn't look as bad as yours." She said throwing a mock disgusted look towards his spikey blonde hair. He feigned a look of hurt.

"Yeah well looks like somebody's roots need doing." He said causing Peyton and Haley to laugh.

"Lucas…Are you gay?" Peyton asked with a deadpan face causing Haley to burst into a fit of laughter.

"Now that you mention it, I have had my suspicions." Haley said as Lucas grabbed a pillow and threw it at her causing her to shriek and toss one back.

They all laughed as Peyton smiled to herself…maybe if he kept the box, she still meant something to him…

* * *

Sorry it was short but I thought I'd seperate all this from the chemo just because I thought it should be in a seperate chapter. Thanks for all the reviews! Especially the longer ones! You're all great and please keep it up! Tell me what you think and sorry this was short and rushed.

Next Time:Lucas has his first chemo and it's harder on him than he anticipated. Haley asks Peyton about her feelings for Lucas...


	7. Midnight confessions

Lucas sighed and put his book down after reading the same sentence five times, he just couldn't concentrate. Not when he knew the Doctor would be coming in the room any moment to set his chemo. He knew it was the only way he could beat this thing but it didn't stop him being terrified of it. He had seen the effects of chemo first hand when his grandmother had it and he wasn't looking forward to it, the chemo would make him feel worse than he did now and this was bad enough. He chewed on his bottom lip nervously as Karen and Keith were talking quietly in the corner. He was glad Keith was back because it gave his mom someone to lean on and it didn't hurt having someone else around to help out either. There was a soft knock on the door and he swallowed knowing it was all about to start, his mother shot him a brief reassuring smile before crossing the room and opening the door, letting the doctor and a pretty, young nurse into the room. He felt Keith's supportive hand grip his shoulder as the Doctor walked in with a smile.

"Good morning, how are we feeling today Lucas?" He asked cheerfully.

"Okay I guess." He said with a non-committal shrug. The doctor nodded.

"Well as you know we'll be starting your first cycle of chemotherapy this morning and I thought that it should be explained a little bit beforehand just so you know what to expect." He said as Karen and Keith nodded whilst Lucas just sat there willing himself not to bolt out of the room.

"Okay, well basically we'll be using a cocktail of about three drugs which will be injected through an IV and these will help destroy the cancerous cells. Basically the aim is to destroy all dividing cells to stop cancer spreading and to kill the cancer but it destroys other cells in the process which is why there are various side effects. The main side effect that comes with chemo is fatigue, I know you have already been experiencing this but the drugs used in the chemo will worsen it until it comes to the point that just daily tasks can become exhausting. You may also experience nausea, vomiting, hair loss and also there can be pain in the mouth and gums." He said as Lucas sighed and leant back trying to take this all in.

"Will _I_ lose my hair?" He asked quietly as Keith gave his shoulder a sympathetic squeeze. The doctor frowned.

"Well it depends from person to person as different people react differently but the drugs we are using attack the dividing cells such as the hair follicles meaning it is a possibility but if it does happen it should grow back in a few months after the chemo has finished." He said and Lucas swallowed nodding, if he lost his hair everyone would know what was wrong with him, he'd get pitying looks as he walked down the street. He didn't think he could stand that.

"Okay so if you have any questions just feel free to ask and if it's okay we'll start setting everything up." He said with a smile, why was he smiling? Oh yeah because he didn't have to have a needle stuck in his arm and then be pumped full of drugs that would make him feel like crap, he thought bitterly. He sighed; this was going to be a long day.

* * *

Keith watched as Lucas flicked through a magazine, not really reading it's contents but rather looking at it to give the impression that he was doing something. He sighed as he watched the boy, he studied his pale face, the dark circles around his eyes and he still couldn't get over how much weight he had lost. Poor kid. He hadn't really had a real chance to talk to him since he had gotten back and he guessed this was his chance. Karen was getting coffee and the girls weren't coming over till later…

"How are doing?" He asked as Lucas looked up and smiled briefly.

"Okay I guess, it just kind of feels weird." He said putting down his magazine.

" That's not what I meant, how are you doing with everything? With this whole thing? You holding up okay? Because if you need to talk, I'm here." He said hoping he wasn't coming on too strong with the kid. Lucas nodded, how could he answer that?

"I don't know, I guess I'm still kind of getting used to it I guess…it's a lot to deal with." He said honestly, growing more uncomfortable by the second.

"Luke I just have to apologise about the way I left things before, I was hurt and I didn't mean what I said…" He said wanting him to understand, he hated the way he had left things with him before. Lucas looked down and nodded.

"It's okay, I understand. I should have told you about Jules or…Emily or whatever her name is. I'm sorry." He said looking up, Keith smiled.

"When did you get so much older than me?" He said as Lucas returned the smile, he pulled him into a gentle hug.

"I'm proud of you, and so is your mother. We're here for you."

"I know…thanks" He said, he was glad he was back. He had missed him.

* * *

"Haley it's your go." Peyton said as Haley looked up and studied the scrabble board carefully. Lucas smiled slightly despite the overwhelming exhaustion he was experiencing.

"Yeah come on Haley, we can't spend all day waiting for you to lose." He said quietly as she shot him a warning look causing him to smile and Peyton to laugh slightly.

"Shut up Luke…okay I've got one." She said picking up her tiles and raising an eyebrow as she began to arrange them. She lay her tiles down with a satisfied smile as Lucas and Peyton leant in to see what she had done. Peyton let out a loud snort and Lucas began to laugh as Haley sat up indignantly.

"What?" She said

"Haley, closety isn't a word! You can't just add a y on the end of closet and say it's a word!" Peyton said laughing as Lucas grinned.

"It is a word!" She said loudly.

"Okay what does it mean?" Lucas challenged as he stifled a yawn, beginning to feel the effects of the IV stuck in the back of his hand. Haley paused, chewing on her bottom lip as she thought before sitting up.

"It means closet-like." She said uncertainly as Peyton and Lucas laughed. Lucas sighed.

"Haley we'll let you have the points for um…creativity, plus you don't want to upset her in this game. Last time we played when we were kids she broke the board in half because she lost!" Lucas said as Haley flushed, her cheeks colouring as Peyton laughed.

"Did you have to bring that up Luke? Why would you do that? It was one time! Anyway, it's Peyton's turn now." She said quickly changing the subject.

Lucas sat back and watched as the two girls leant over the board, he could feel himself growing more and more tired as each minute ticked by, his stomach was bubbling uneasily and he was worried that any second now he would lose its contents. His head was throbbing and he was just trying to hold it all together…Suddenly everything felt so real, like it was finally sinking in that he had to do this, he had to go through months of this…He was pulled from his reverie by Haley calling his name, realising he had spaced out a bit he sat up.

"Sorry, I guess I zoned out a bit." He said, embarrassed. He could see the two girls watching him, concerned.

"Are you okay? You need the doctor or your mom?" Peyton asked watching him carefully. Lucas shook his head, closing his eyes.

"I'm okay, I was just thinking that's all." He said as Haley frowned slightly.

"You want to talk about it?" She asked softly and Lucas shook his head.

"No it's okay, it's nothing. So is it my go?" He asked changing the subject as Peyton swallowed knowing something was up…

* * *

Peyton watched with tears in her eyes as Keith practically carried Lucas out of the car, his body slow and lethargic as they went slowly up the path towards the house, Luke's head lolling lifelessly around his shoulders, too weak to support himself. He was like a totally different person, just a few hours earlier he had been laughing and joking with her and now he was too weak to even walk from the car to his house, he was half conscious and he looked worse than she had ever seen him. He was allowed to go home after the chemo and it was just like suddenly all the life had been sucked from him… She blinked furiously; she couldn't let anyone see her like this. She couldn't cry, she had t be strong for Lucas. She leant against the car uncertain about whether or not to go in when she felt Haley's arm on her shoulder.

"When are you going to tell him?" She asked her softly. Peyton looked across at her with a frown.

"What? Tell who what?" She said as Haley looked up at her, traces of tears sparkling in her eyes too.

"Tell Lucas, when are you going to tell him you love him?" She said causing Peyton to start slightly…what, was it that obvious? What was she talking about, how did she…Oh god.

"Haley I…I don't know what you're talking about…we're just…" She began even in her own head she knew how pathetic she sounded and she was soon cut off by Haley.

"If you say just friends I'll strangle you with your own t-shirt. Look Peyton I'm not stupid, I've seen the way you look at him, the way you act around him and I've seen the way he looks at you. I know Lucas okay, I've known him basically _forever_ and I know he loves you Peyton and I know you love him. Why don't you just tell him?" She said as Peyton looked down and swallowed tears still blazing in her hazel eyes. She gradually met Haley's gaze.

"Because I'm scared, I don't want to get hurt and I don't want to hurt him. He has enough to deal with at the moment with everything going on…" She said her voice trembling as she looked towards the house.

"Surely everything that's been going on should make you realise that life is too short, you need to tell him Peyton. I know he likes you but he's scared so you need to make the first move. You don't want to live your life with regrets." She said softly as Peyton looked away blinking the tears from her eyes.

"I know…you're right. I just need to find the time." She whispered. Haley squeezed her arm gently and smiled slightly.

"Come on let's go inside. See how he's doing."

* * *

Peyton lay awake as she stared up at the ceiling, thinking about what Haley had said. She was right, life was too short and she should just tell him. But what if Haley was wrong? What if he only wanted to be friends, then their whole friendship would be ruined and everything would be so awkward…She shifted slightly on the couch and wrapped the blanket around herself, listening to Haley's soft snores from the floor. But what if Haley was right? Then they could be together…She sighed, her thoughts were interrupted by noises from the bedroom…the unmistakable sound of heaving. She sat up squinting through the darkness as she saw light illuminate the hall as Lucas' bedroom light was switched on. She could hear footsteps and soft whispered words. She swallowed her stomach tensing as she could hear him getting sick…

Lucas closed his eyes as another dry heave gripped him, his stomach rebelling as all his muscles tensed. Sweat beading on his forehead as he struggled to breathe through each painful heave. His stomach had long since been emptied and he could feel his mother's hand rubbing his back softly and her soft gentle words of comfort whispering in his ears as she told him to breathe. His stomach jolted violently causing him to lurch forward over the trash can again as once more nothing came out, his head was throbbing and his weak muscles protesting as he breathed in shakily.

"It's okay sweetie, just take a deep breath in…and out, breathe through it honey."

His stomach finally seeming to have subsided he let out an exhausted sigh, tears and sweat mingling on his face as he leant back against the headboard, his whole body worn out and aching. His head was pounding and his pulse racing as he slowly breathed in and out willing the nausea to disappear. He couldn't help the tears rolling down his cheeks, he just felt so weak and helpless and everything felt like it was crashing down around him. His mom continued to rub his back softly and Keith was kneeling down by his bedside.

"It's okay buddy, do you think you can manage any water?" He said offering a glass. Lucas' stomach turned at the thought of drinking anything and he managed to shake his head weakly. He felt Keith helping him to lie back down and he began to shiver, bitter cold consuming him as he let darkness wash over him, his eyelids slowly drooping shut as the sheer exhaustion took over him…

* * *

Peyton let the taps run cold as she splashed water over her face, breathing in shakily. She had lain there listening to him getting sick and it was breaking her heart. This was really real, he was really sick and she had realised just how serious this was. This wouldn't just go away…She looked at herself in the mirror and she could see that she should get some sleep but she just couldn't. Everytime she closed her eyes she could see him lying in bed looking so weak and helpless… She sighed shutting off the water and shuffling out of the bathroom when she passed Lucas' room. The door was open a crack and she peered inside. Her heart hammering hard against her chest she swallowed and silently entered the room. She saw him lying there in bed, surrounded by blankets and she wished she could say he looked peaceful but he didn't. Even in his sleep his face was drawn with pain and he still looked too pale. She stood by his bedside wondering what on earth she was doing in here but as she looked down at him she felt her heart melt.

Haley was right, she did love him and she just wanted for him to love her back but things were so complicated, especially now he had gotten sick. She just needed to get all of this off her chest…

"Hey…it's me. I know you're probably wondering what I'm doing in your room in the middle of the night…or you're not because your asleep but I guess, I just need to tell you something…" She whispered before pausing, breathing in deeply and stroking the back of his hand gently.

"I love you Luke. I love you so much and I'm so scared that I'm going to lose you. I've always been too scared to tell you how I felt because I'm scared of getting hurt and I'm scared of hurting you…I know I pushed you away but it was the biggest mistake of my life and I just want to be with you. I'm scared that you're going to leave because you're the only person that has always been here and I can't let you go." She whispered tears In her hazel eyes as she sniffed and looked into his sleeping face.

"I'm so proud of you for handling this but I'm so scared of rejection, because…you're the only person I've ever truly put my heart on the line for and I…I know I shouldn't be scared. I love you Luke, and I will be there for you no matter how you feel about me…" She said shakily, her voice cracking as she planted a soft kiss on his forehead before walking out, tears streaming down her face. She shakily lowered herself down onto the couch and picked up her sketch pad from the table, she reached for a pencil from her bag and wiped her eyes as her heart raced and she began to draw…

* * *

A/N Okay firstly I know that was kind of rushed but hopefully it was okay, I wanted to get this part done and out of the way because in the next chapters all the drama really kicks off! I know I didn't do a lot about the after effects of the chemo but there will be plenty of that to come and sorry about the cheesy Leyton bit but I had to have it! Lol Okay so thanks for all the amazing reviews guys! Please keep it up! Love y'all and please review!

Next Time: Peyton and Haley do something nice for Lucas, Brooke finds out about Luke's cancer and in probably the chapter after, Nathan makes a return to Tree Hill...


	8. The way he looks at you

Hey! This is shorter than I planned but I ran out of time and I have been uber busy with school work which sucks but oh well! Okay well hope you enjoy and thanks for the amazing reviews! I really appreciate them and please keep it up!

* * *

Lucas' eyes flickered slowly open before closing them again almost immediately, he let out a low groan as his head began to pound painfully and he grew aware of how exhausted and crappy felt. He gradually opened his eyes again, letting them adjust to the golden sunlight that was streaming through the gap in the curtains. He sighed and shifted in his bed slightly his head still throbbing and his empty stomach churning. He felt so awful, he just wanted to lie here all day and sleep…He glanced at his watch on the nightstand and sighed, half past twelve. Peyton and Haley would be at school and he would just be with his mom and Keith, she would be worrying about him non-stop and he would just want to sleep…boy this day was going to be fun. He thought miserably as he put his watch back when something caught his eye. He sat up, ignoring the overwhelming dizziness as he reached out to the piece of paper that caught his eye.

It was a card…He smiled as he looked down at the cover. It was a beautiful sketch of himself, Haley and Peyton sitting around the scrabble board smiling and laughing and the tiles on the board spelt…Get Well soon. He grinned and opened the card, his heart hammering, in Peyton's neat italic handwriting he read..

_Dear Luke,_

_Felt like drawing something and figured I'd try and cheer you up. Be over later with Haley and we'll bring over some DVDs or something? Hope you can survive a day without me ; P_

_Lotsa Love_

_Peyt. X_

He grinned… "lotsa love"…was he reading too much into this? It was a sweet thing to do but was it just a friendly thing? Did she feel the same?...

He couldn't deal with this, it was just too confusing, too hard. She couldn't feel the same, could she? He sighed and put the card back on the nightstand feeling better before another wave of nausea assaulted him, his stomach churning uneasily as he bolted for the bathroom, his face turning chalky as he reached the toilet bowl just in time…He heaved and wretched violently as the pitiful amount of water he had consumed throughout the night reappeared. Sweat laced his forehead as his muscles contracted harshly; he gripped the sides of the bowl tightly, his knuckles turning white as he began to tremble. He breathed in shakily before spitting into the bowl and collapsing against the bath. He closed his eyes and sat there for a few seconds just breathing in and out as he willed his head to stop spinning and for his stomach to settle…He just felt so weak. He knew this would be bad but he never thought he would feel like this…

* * *

_Earlier that morning_

Peyton and Haley closed the front door behind them as they left Lucas' house together to go to school, it seemed like they had gotten so much closer since Lucas had got sick. Suddenly they were spending all their time together and they had begun to learn more about each other. It was like so much had changed in such a short space of time. Peyton laughed as Haley cracked a joke but her mind was elsewhere, she couldn't stop thinking about Lucas. What if he had heard her last night? Should she have left that card? She was just so confused, she loved him and she wanted to be with him but she was so scared that he didn't feel the same, regardless of what Haley said. She was scared of getting hurt but most of all she was scared of hurting him…

"Peyton? Hello?" Haley said waving a hand in front of Peyton's face, which wore a distant expression. She snapped out of it and flushed slightly, grinning with embarrassment.

"Sorry, I guess I zoned out a bit." She said truthfully as Haley cocked an eyebrow.

"Let me guess…about Lucas?" She said teasingly but with a slight air of seriousness at the same time. Peyton swallowed, she knew she could tell Haley. Afterall she had practically forced it out of her last night.

"You caught me. I was just thinking that…it doesn't matter." She said quickly.

"Oh come on Peyt! You can't do that to me, don't leave me hanging here! Come on I know Lucas better than anyone, who better to talk to? Except for maybe Lucas himself but that doesn't matter because here, now tell me before I talk you to death." She said quickly as Peyton stared at her.

"Haley you didn't even breathe throughout that whole sentence…I guess you're right though. I was just thinking whether it really is a good idea to tell him…tell him how I feel or not. Considering everything that's going on, would he really have time for that sort of thing and…what if…what if he doesn't feel the same and I ruin what we have at the moment?" She said frowning as they stopped walking and Haley chewed on her bottom lip uncertainly before meeting her gaze.

"Did you ever think that maybe having a girlfriend would be good for him? Give him I don't know…a sense of normalcy through all of this, someone to lean on?" She asked as Peyton looked down at her feet as they continued to walk along the street together.

"I guess but…how do you know that he feels the same? What if he just wants to be friends?" She asked desperately as Haley sighed.

"I know Lucas okay, and I know how he feels about you. I can see it through the way he looks at you, the way he talks to you, how he gets embarrassed basically whenever you exchange contact. He loves you Peyton, you're probably the only girl he ever truly loved and he still does. He'd be a fool not to." She said with a smile as Peyton looked up and smiled, colour rising in her cheeks.

"Thanks Hales. You know I don't know what Nathan was thinking when he left things like that with you…" She said softly as Haley swallowed. She hadn't had much time to think about Nathan, what with everything going on but still…she hated how they had left things. She had asked him to stay and talk things over but he had left anyway, saying they can talk any time. She just hoped that things would go back to normal…but they were never normal to begin with.

"Thanks…" She said as they continued walking along the road.

Brooke turned the corner, the top of her convertible Beetle down as she drive down the road. She turned the stereo up louder when she noticed two familiar girls walking up the sidewalk ahead…She frowned. What were they doing walking up this way? The only person that walked along here was Lucas. Then she realised, they must have come from Lucas' house but…Lucas wasn't there. He wasn't at school again? Peyton had been spending so much time with him recently… Feeling a pang of jealousy she turned the stereo up louder and sped past the pair…

XXXXXXXXXX

Lucas awoke to a soft knocking on the door and he was startled to find himself still sitting on the bathroom floor where he had sat after emptying his stomach…he frowned and rubbed his eyes looking around as the knocking continued…how long had he been out?

"Lucas? Lucas are you okay?" Karen asked worriedly as she hurried into the room, kneeling down next to her son as he sat there. She had gone in to check on him and she had found his bed empty and the bathroom door shut, she had presumed he was just having a shower or something but when Keith said he heard his throwing up a while ago she got worried.

"I'm okay, I got sick and then I was sitting here and I must have fallen asleep." He said honestly before noticing what she had in her hands. She saw his gaze settle on the glass of water and the pills in her hand and she looked up.

"Anti-nausea medication. Hopefully it will stop you getting sick all the time." She said holding out the glass and the two small pills. Reluctantly Lucas took them from her hand and swallowed one at a time with a sip of cold water, willing his stomach to allow it to at least stay down long enough to start kicking in. Karen watched him carefully, concern gnawing at her as he swallowed and looked up at her.

"Thanks."

"How are you feeling?" She asked, sitting on the edge of the bath.

"Tired, headache…I didn't think it would be this hard." He said miserably, Karen placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it gently.

"Hey, I know it's hard but you're doing great so far. Everyone is so proud Luke." She said and he swallowed nodding. There was one thing that had been playing on his mind though…

"Mom? What am I going to do about school?" He asked turning to face her. She sighed

"Well Keith phoned your school and they basically said that they can send any major projects and work home and seeing as your ahead in some classes you'll probably break even but whenever you feel up to it, you can try and go in…the dean agreed to half days on some days? Basically you just go when you can and try and stay on top of the work." She said and Lucas nodded, if he felt like this everyday he didn't know if he'd ever go back into school…he was going to miss so much and this was his senior year, not to mention basketball. Karen almost seemed to read his mind.

"I spoke to Whitey, he knows everything and he understands that you wont be able to play but if you feel up to it he says you can help out at practise?" She offered but Lucas frowned, great so he could be the towel boy and all his friends get to play basketball whilst he had to sit and watch…

"It'll be okay Luke." She said with a smile.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Peyton tried not to let out a groan as she noticed Brooke approaching her, kitted out in her cheerleading outfit, her bag slung over her shoulder and wearing a look of disdain as she looked Peyton and Haley up and down.

"You coming to practice?" She asked with a sneer on her face as Peyton crossed her arms and Haley sighed, she didn't want to be stuck in the middle of another one of these arguments…she was sick of it.

"I can't…I have plans." Peyton said haughtily staring Brooke down. Brooke swallowed and cocked an eyebrow, still smirking.

"Oh really? Would they be with _my_ boyfriend again?" She challenged as Peyton rolled her eyes…here she goes again. She let out a laugh.

"Boyfriend? You actually think he is still your boyfriend?"

"Just admit you're trying to get him back. After my sloppy seconds? You know what, I thought you were better than that." She retorted.

"Will you guys just leave it?" Haley said desperately, trying to stand between them but it was useless.

"Whatever Brooke, you're pathetic. I'm friends with Lucas, not that what I do with him has anything to do with you anyway." She spat growing angrier, how dare she tell her what to do with Lucas after she betrayed him?

"Aww how cute, what do you do together? Read lame books and trade crappy emo CDs. Losers." She mocked.

"No, I'm there for him which is more than I can say for you!"

"You know what, you can have Lucas. He's obviously a complete Loser if he wants to go out with you." She yelled. Haley turned to face Brooke sharply.

"Stop it! Stop it both of you!" Haley yelled causing the two girls to fall silent as Haley looked between them angrily.

"I'm sick of you guys fighting all the time and me always being stuck in the middle." She said as the two girls looked down at their feet. Brooke swallowed hard her heart racing as she looked up, meeting Peyton and Haley's gazes.

"What's wrong with him? I know there's something, he hasn't been at school for a week and you guys are always round his house and…I've heard you crying Hales…Please just tell me." She whispered her voice cracking as Haley and Peyton looked at each other. She blinked rapidly forcing back tears as she breathed in shakily…

Peyton looked across at Haley her heart hammering and blood rushing in her ears. She swallowed hard as Haley stared back at her, both looking as uncertain as each other…they had promised Lucas but, seeing Brooke like this she…she really did care and they couldn't lie to her face…Haley swallowed and gave Peyton a small nod, tears in her eyes. They looked back towards Brooke, her face crumpling as tears leaked slowly down her cheeks. Peyton leaned against the rail for the steps and the wind picked up, the trees rustling as they stood there in silence before Haley opened her mouth…

"He…he has cancer." She said her voice wavering and cracking towards the end as her brimming eyes overflowed, a single tear rolling down her cheek. Brooke stared at her, her mouth open slightly and her tear-filled eyes wide…

"What?" She whispered as Peyton swallowed, a painful lump forming in her throat as she fought back tears. They had broken their promise to Lucas…

"Leukaemia, he found out a few days ago." She mumbled.

Brooke gripped the hand rail and slowly sank down to the floor, sitting down on the top step leading to the school entrance. She crossed her arms around herself, hugging herself tightly as tears leaked steadily down her face as she sniffed. She couldn't believe this, after everything she had done to him, all the bad stuff she had said…he was sick, really sick and she had been a complete bitch. Oh God…he didn't deserve this, why had this happened to him?

"How…how is he?" She whispered knowing it was a stupid question, she watched as Peyton walked slowly over and sat down next to her. Haley remained where she was and watched the pair sadly, tears streaming.

"He's…he's coping, he had chemo yesterday and it hit him pretty hard but he's doing okay for now." She said. She would never have thought she would be sitting down and talking to Brooke let alone comforting her, she thought as she wrapped an arm gingerly around her shoulders hoping she wouldn't shrug it off. She smiled slightly when Brooke leant sideways into her embrace, resting her head on her shoulder as she sobbed softly. She felt tears burning in her eyes, they may be fighting but she was still her friend…

"Can I see him?" She asked softly, lifting her head and Haley frowned and looked at Peyton.

"I uh…I don't know, we'll have to talk to him first." Haley said and Brooke nodded, understanding. She swallowed and looked across at Peyton, blinking the tears from her eyes.

"Peyton I'm sorry, sorry I was such a bitch about you and Lucas…I know you were just being there for him and I'm sorry. I was just jealous because I screwed up so badly." She said quietly as Peyton hugged her tighter.

"I'm sorry too." She whispered as they hugged tightly…Haley wiped her eyes.

"God you guys are so stupid!" She cried before bursting into tears causing Peyton and Brooke to laugh weakly as the three girls hugged on the steps…

* * *

A/N I Know it was short and I'm sorry but the next chappie will be a nice looooong one with lots of drama! Yay! I didn't orginally plan for Brooke to find out this way but I needed to get her out of the way so more dramatic stuff can happen! cough Nathan cough Hope you enjoyed and don't be too harsh and sorry it was boring! Please review!

Next Time: Lucas gets upset when his hair starts to fall out, Peyton tries to help Lucas but he pushes her away resulting in a blow out and their true feelings for each other are exposed...The chapter after (hopefully) Nathan makes a return to Tree Hill squee


	9. This is Real

A/N Sorry for the wait for the update! Well, big stuff in this chapter! I wont say too much but hopefully you'll like it! Please leave a review and tell me what you think! Thanks for all the reviews so far! Keep them up!

* * *

"We need to talk to you about something…" Haley said nervously as she looked across at Peyton and then back to Lucas who was sitting on the couch with a blanket wrapped around him, he had barely stopped shivering since the chemo…apparently it was a side effect. Lucas looked up at Haley and Peyton and judging by their expressions he could tell this wasn't good, plus Haley was chewing her bottom lip and Peyton was biting her thumb nail and both were not good signs. He swallowed fighting back a yawn as another wave of exhaustion was in mid-swing. 

"Um…Okay." He said warily still looking between the two girls as Peyton put her hands in her pocket and pulled her thumb away from her mouth, her heart hammering. They had broken their only promise to him…

"I…we…um…okay…Brooke knows." Haley stammered as Lucas raised his eyebrows and let out a long breath before leaning back against the couch and frowning.

"How?" He asked quietly, he could feel colour in his cheeks. Peyton swallowed her heart still hammering…she could do this.

"She was upset and…she knew something was wrong and he confronted us, she asked what was wrong and we just couldn't lie to her. We had to tell her, we're really sorry." She said preparing herself for an outburst as she watched him carefully, she didn't want him to be mad at her, she didn't want to ruin what they had even if it wasn't enough for her.

Lucas nodded slowly and blinked, trying to remove the tiredness from his eyes before smiling slightly.

"It's okay, she was going to find out at some point." He said wearily as Haley and Peyton looked at each other in surprise.

"You mean you're not mad?" Haley asked in surprise. Lucas smiled.

"No, how could I be mad at my two favourite girls?" He said jokingly as Peyton sighed in relief, it felt like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders…

"Aww you're so sweet, anywho…I'm really thirsty, I'm gonna go and get a drink and then I have to call my parents so I figured I charge your phoneline with the long distance bills rather than mine!" She said with a sweet smile before skipping out of the room leaving Lucas and Peyton alone. He smiled weakly and sighed. He leant back and scratched the back of his head absently when he felt something pull and come out in his hand. Balking he drew his hand back and looked down, what was in his hand was unmistakably hair. He swallowed hard and furrowed his brow, feeling colour rushing to his cheeks he could almost feel Peyton's eyes burning into him as his vision blurred. He felt his stomach churning and he avoided her gaze, wanting to be anywhere but here…with anyone but her. He couldn't believe this was happening. His heart was hammering and blood rushing in his ears as he stumbled dizzily to his feet, he could see her out of the corner of his eyes moving instinctively forward and he backed up, his fist closed around his hair…this felt so real. He couldn't let her see him like this.

"Lucas."

He heard her say his name softly and he could hear the pity in her voice…or was it concern? He couldn't tell, he just needed to get out of here. He left the room quickly his head spinning as he reached the bathroom, he scrambled for the door his hands trembling as he slammed it shut, catching once last glimpse of Peyton rushing after him.

Peyton closed her eyes as the bathroom door shut in her face. Oh god, she didn't know to handle this…oh god. She breathed out deeply trying to steady herself but she couldn't get the look on his face out of her head, the shame, and the embarrassment. She swallowed hard, her heart hammering as she leant against the door listening for any sounds from inside…she couldn't imagine how he must be feeling. Suddenly everything felt too real for her…

Lucas gripped the sides of the sink as he breathed deeply, trying to steady himself as tears welled in his eyes. He was trembling as he looked up slowly into the mirror, studying his reflection. He could see where his hair was thinner on that side and he swallowed blinking quickly to erase the tears from his eyes. He wasn't going to let this happen to him, things were going on his terms. He looked up, his blood rushing in his ears as he opened the bathroom cabinet…when he found what he was looking for. He was going to do this his way.

Outside the door Peyton was growing more and more nervous as the seconds passed, she had to do something. She couldn't just leave him in there alone, she had to at least see if he was okay. She could her feel her stomach churning with butterflies, god she cared about him so much and she couldn't take seeing him like this but she had to be there for him…Clearing her throat, she knocked softly on the door.

"Lucas?...Lucas it's Peyton." She called but received no reply. She began to grow more worried…

"Luke!...I'm coming in okay." She said knowing he hadn't locked the door…maybe that was a good sign, a sign that maybe he wanted her to come after him? She frowned and sighed before reaching out for the handle with shaking hands…She grasped it, feeling the cool metal beneath her sweating palms as she turned it slowly and silently opened the door…She stepped inside holding her breath

He was standing over the sink, a pair of hair clippers held in his hand as he studied his reflection in the mirror, his shoulders and his hands were trembling and she could see his dark blue eyes were shining with unshed tears. She felt her heart aching for him as she just longed to pull him into a hug and kiss him, to convince him that everything would be okay…but she knew that friends weren't supposed to do that, well the first part anyway.

"Luke?" She started softly as she walked forward. He didn't look at her but judging by his shoulders tensing slightly she knew he had heard her.

"I can do this." He whispered shakily and she wasn't sure whether he was talking to her or himself. His hand had begun to tremble violently as he held the clippers to the side of his head as they buzzed continuously. She felt tears stinging in her eyes but she pushed them back, she hated seeing him like this…

"Luke your hands are shaking let me do it for you." She offered scared he was going to cut himself or something the rate he was going. He shook his head, frowning.

"I can do it." He mumbled determinedly, gritting his teeth…God he was stubborn. She tried again her heart still racing.

"Come on Luke, look at your hands. Personally I don't want to witness a scene from Sweeney Todd so let me help you." She said with a slight smile, she could have sworn a ghost of a smile passed his lips before he glared down at the sink…He dropped the clippers into the sink with a clatter

"I'm fine." He snapped causing Peyton to flinch slightly.

"No you're not" She said looking at him.

There was a long silence, he tensed and slammed the bathroom cabinet shut angrily causing the windows to rattle slightly and Peyton to flinch. He gripped the sides of the sink hunching over and breathing heavily as dizziness overcame him, tears stinging in the corners of his eyes as he let out a shaky breath, black dancing spots clouding his vision as tears rolled down his cheeks before he closed his eyes tightly and willed for the dizziness to pass.

Peyton watched as he slowly broke down and she felt tears in her own eyes as she slowly stepped forward, she gently placed an awkward hand on his shoulder before he turned to her, tears streaming down his face…the anger gone from his eyes and replaced with desolation as she pulled him into her arms, hugging him tightly…holding on for dear life as she shook in her arms. She rubbed his back softly, muttering soft reassurances in his ears as he composed himself. Her heart hammered as she felt his body against hers and she felt tingles shoot down her spine before he drew away. His face dry but his eyes red and watery as he fixed a determined look on his face. She looked into his blue eyes and her heart melted.

"I'll do it for you." She said quietly and he nodded, avoiding her gaze as she reached for the clippers. She turned them on with a buzz and he leant forward, his eyes fixed on the floor as his shoulders trembled slightly. With his back turned she could finally let her tears fall, she had practically watched him break down in front of her, the strongest person she knew was at his breaking point and she knew she needed to get him through this, she knew how hard this would be on him…She knew how much she loved him. She slowly and steadily sheared through his hair, his golden blonde hair falling lightly into the sink as the clippers buzzed and vibrated in her hand. She worked over the back and sides steadily and he stopped trembling…

Eventually his head was done and she turned them off. He straightened up and ran a shaking hand over his smooth head. It felt so weird…his hair was really gone. Now people would know there was something wrong, they would stare in the streets. Shoot him those pitying looks, thinking oh look at the poor cancer patient, so young. He didn't know if he could handle the pity…but at least this had happened on his own terms, he may not be able to control the headaches, the dizziness, the tiredness and the nausea but this was one this he could control. He sighed and glanced at himself in the mirror and did a double take, with his hair gone…everything looked so much worse, the harsh angles on his face stood out and the circles under his eyes looked larger, he looked paler and he could suddenly see how much weight he had lost. He swallowed and looked down, his back still to Peyton.

"Thanks." He whispered.

"Sorry I was a dick." He said with a smirk, turning to face her. She smiled back at him unable to resist his cute little smiles, she let her gaze travel up to his head and she could see just how ill he looked…

"It's okay…well, I'm having de ja vu to last year at the moment." She said nodding to his head and he smiled sadly. A silence fell upon the room and she touched his arm gently.

"It looks fine. In fact I think it's quite sexy." She said with a grin causing him to smile.

"Liar."

She was about to quip something back, satisfied that she had at least bought a smile to his face when Haley walked into the room cheerfully,

"Wow that was a fun conversation with my mother…Oh…Luke, wow. You're hair." She stammered awkwardly whilst Lucas looked down nervously before meeting her gaze.

"I uh, fancied a change. Does it really look that bad?" He asked rubbing his head again, suddenly feeling insecure as Haley smiled, still trying to get over the initial shock.

"No it's cool!...Is your head cold?" She asked with a smile causing Peyton to grin.

"One second." He said before darting out the room leaving a curious Peyton and Haley behind, they waited a few seconds before Haley stepped forward and whispered to Peyton.

"What's going on?" She whispered quickly. Peyton quickly leant forward.

"Some of his hair fell out, he freaked out and got upset and so I helped him cut it off, he wanted to do it." She explained quickly and Haley nodded, about to respond when Lucas stepped back into the bathroom, wearing a black beanie hat which covered his bald head. Haley grinned and Peyton smiled.

"Wow that looks so…Justin Timberlake." Haley said with a grin and Lucas smiled, Peyton caught his eye and smiled.

"It looks great." She said softly and he smiled slightly, even though he was trying to look happy, smiling and laughing as the two girls laughed and joked with him, obviously trying to cheer him up he couldn't help thinking this was when it was all going to change, it was all feeling so real and it scared him…He shivered and swallowed hard, he could feel another bout of nausea coming and he willed it to die down as he faked a laugh as Haley joked around…he didn't want them to worry about him. He looked across at Peyton and sighed, he just wished he could tell her how he felt…He hadn't meant to snap at her. God he loved her…

* * *

Next Morning 

Lucas shivered involuntarily, he was freezing. It felt like a block of ice had settled into his stomach and the cold was reaching even his bones, he lay on the couch with his head against the arm rest, a thin blanket pulled over him as the TV blared in front of him but he wasn't even watching it, it made his eyes and head hurt and he felt too sick to concentrate on anything. He had spent most of the morning throwing up the small contents of his stomach and the rest practically passed out on the bed or on the couch. He shivered violently again and before he knew it his mother was rushing over, armed with a blanket and a concerned frown. She gently placed the blanket over him and sighed.

"Is that better?" She asked kneeling down next to him and placing a hand on his forehead. He nodded weakly, his stomach churning violently as he willed it to stop, he didn't want to go through another painful bout of dry heaves. Haley was busy with tutoring today and Peyton was using his computer to burn some CDs. He still felt awkward with her being in his room all the time but he didn't say anything because he liked having her around but he always felt guilty. Her and Haley were spending all their time here with him and they had no time for anything else, he hated having people worrying about him, causing them pain and being a burden. That's why even if he felt like rubbish he wouldn't trouble them…he didn't want them to have to worry, they had done enough already. As another shiver overtook him Karen frowned.

"Oh honey, I wish there was something I could do but the doctor said it was a common symptom of the chemo which reminds me, you have to go again in two days." She said knowing he would hate it. He groaned, two days? He was still sick from the last session and then he had to go through it again?...

"Oh shoot I forgot to ask Keith to get some milk before he went to work…oh well, I can't leave you here now…it doesn't matter." She said

"Mom, it's okay. Go, you need to get out of here anyway, you've been stuck in here with me for the past week. I'll be okay, besides Peyton is here." He said. He felt bad for his mom through all this…She had practically given up working at the café, she had given up everything for him, she bought him some more hats to wear after he had cut his hair. She frowned.

"You sure?"

"Mom, go seriously." He said with a slight smile.

"Fine but if anything happens you can call me on my cell, your meds are in the cupboard. I wont be long." She said, grabbing her jacket and keys. Lucas waved to her as she left the room…He sighed and pulled the blankets around himself tighter, his eyelids grew heavy as he stared, not focusing on the TV and he eventually drifted off into an uneasy sleep…

When he awoke only about ten minutes had passed because the same programme was still on, he sighed and yawned, rubbing his eyes. He tried to swallow but his mouth and throat felt like sandpaper, groaning he slowly sat up his stomach still churning dangerously, he knew he would be seeing anything he swallowed a few seconds later but he was so thirsty and his mom had warned him about getting dehydrated. He slowly eased himself up from the couch and pulled his blankets up with him, wrapping them around himself, spots danced in front of his eyes as he became light-headed, he stumbled slightly and gripped onto the side for support as his chest tightened, he could barely breathe. He could hear footsteps running into the room…

"Lucas?"

Peyton. He thought before struggling to straighten up, his chest still tight as he wheezed slightly.

"Luke? Are you okay? You look terrible, sit down." She said walking over but he put a hand out, trying to stand up straight even though his hip had started to hurt again and he thought he would pass out any second

"I'm fine." He mumbled knowing she would see through it straight away.

Peyton rolled her eyes, "I'm fine" That's all he would ever say, he would never admit that he felt bad! She walked forward anyway.

"Come on Luke, you look like you're about to pass out." She said as he swayed on his feet, his eyes glassy and his face pale. He swallowed, anger rising…he wasn't angry at Peyton, he was angry at everything. Suddenly it felt like everything he had been bottling up for the past week was suddenly exploding at once it was rising up and he couldn't control it…all his anger was being misdirected at her

"I'm fine! Okay? I'm fine!" He yelled causing her to start slightly as he struggled for another breath. She stepped closer her brown eyes blazing.

"No you're not Lucas! Look at yourself! For god's sake I'm sick of you pretending that you're okay when you're not, you're sick! People are just trying to help you and you push them away. You can't do this by yourself." She yelled back tears pricking in her eyes as he gripped onto the side, barely able to support himself as the familiar hot burst of anger came out again…every emotion he had been trying to hide, fear, sadness, loss, anger…

"I'm not trying to push you away! I'm trying to help you! You have spent all your time with me for the past week, you're late too school you have no time for anything because of me and I don't want to do that to you! It's not fair. I shouldn't have to burden you and I hate it, I hate it that I'm getting in the way of you living your life!" His voice was growing hoarse as tears sprung to his eyes. Peyton stopped…he honestly thought that. Tears were now streaming down her face as she looked at him, his eyes cast downwards. Her heart was racing as she stared at him, blood rushing in her ears and her hands shaking.

"You honestly think you're a burden? Luke spending time with you is what I want to do, whether you were sick or not! I want to be there for you Luke! Being here with you isn't getting in the way of my life okay? I want to be here, I want to help you and I want to be there for you when you need me!" She said her voice cracking.

Lucas could feel his head pounding painfully and his heart racing as he looked up into her tear filled eyes, he just wanted all of this to go away.

"Yeah but why do want to help me? It's because you feel sorry for me! I don't need people's pity Peyton. I don't want pity!" He yelled, growing dizzier and feeling worse as he leant against the side, barely able to stand. Peyton stared at him taken aback, tears streaming down her face…

"I'm not here because I pity you Luke, I'm here because I Love you Okay?" She yelled her voice cracking as she stared at him, barely able to see through her tears. She swallowed, she had said it? Oh god, she said it. She looked up at him and he was staring at her, stunned…She had said it and she couldn't take it back and now he was just staring at her…he obviously didn't feel the same. Great now their friendship was ruined. She swallowed again her heart racing as the silence deafened her, as he just stood there staring before breaking her gaze and looking down at the floor.

"I…I didn't mean it I…I'll just go." She mumbled tripping over her words as tears streamed down her face, her heart aching as she turned to leave…

Lucas watched as she turned to leave and he swallowed his heart pounding against his chest so fast it hurt…She loved him…She loved him. He thought numbly. He reached out and grabbed her arm with all the strength he had and turned her around. She spin to face him, looking up into his eyes before he raised a hand and cupped her cheek in it before bending down and kissing her passionately. Both their tears mingling on their cheeks as they lips crashed together, fitting like missing pieces of a jigsaw…She wrapped her arms around his neck, overwhelmed as she kissed him back hungrily…

When they eventually drew away he looked deeply into her eyes and wiped the tears from her cheeks softly.

"I love you too." He whispered

* * *

A/N AAAH Leyton reunion! Tell me what you thought? I think I rushed it a bit but hopefully it was satisfactory! Please leave a review! Love y'all

Next Time: Lucas and Peyton enjoy being together again, Haley and Peyton take Lucas for a day out before he has another chemo session and someone makes a return to Tree Hil (3 guesses who?)

Also Dan will find out soon! Review please!


	10. Brothers in arms

A/N Hey sorry for the wait, I've been super busy with school stuff. Anywho, I'm not too happy with this chapter, I rushed it but hopefully it will be okay...tell me what you think! Thanks for the amazing reviews and enjoy!

* * *

Haley whistled brightly to herself as she briskly rounded the street corner and turned into Lucas' road. She sighed softly to herself as she drew nearer to the house, it was his last day before he had his next session of chemo and she wasn't looking forward to seeing him so miserable again, he was still sick from the last one and how could something that made him so ill be making him better? Not to mention now his hair was gone which had made everything feel even more real, she could practically see her best friend fading away before her eyes and she couldn't take it, but she needed to be there for him, he needed her which was why she was going to take him out…try to make him forget what he had to go through tomorrow. 

She reached the porch and knocked on the door lightly…

* * *

"God you're such a girl! It doesn't matter if they match or not." Peyton said laughing as Lucas rolled his eyes and pulled on the blue beanie hat reluctantly before leaning and kissing her softly, a grin still on his face as she slipped her arms around his thin frame. She smiled as she looked up into his tired blue eyes, god she loved him. She still couldn't believe she was finally with him, after everything they had been through and even in the circumstances she was happy.

"So how are you feeling?" She asked cocking her head to the side and looking up at him as he sighed and scrubbed a hand roughly over his face whilst his other was wrapped around her waist.

"Tired, crappy…but better now you're here." He said softly as she grinned and leant in closer.

"Good answer" She whispered before leaning in closer, their lips inches apart when the door opened causing them to spring apart, Lucas stumbling slightly as Haley entered the room. He could feel himself flushing as she looked between the pair of them, raising an eyebrow.

Haley frowned, trying hard not to smirk as she watched the pair both flush red and shuffle awkwardly as she stared at them both. What had she just walked into? She watched in amusement as they practically stood on opposite sides of the room trying hard to look normal.

"Um…Right." She started as Peyton flushed, her heart hammering as Haley stared at her for a few seconds shooting her an odd look…

"Hey Haley." Lucas said breathlessly, aware of the red tinge forming on his pale face. Haley seemed to regain herself and she looked across at Lucas, fixing a smile on her face, marking his usual pale complexion.

"Hey Luke, how are you feeling?" She asked stealing a quick glance across at Peyton who had her hands stuffed in her pockets and was scuffing her feet on the carpet whilst trying to look inconspicuous. Lucas sighed, he was exhausted, his head hurt, every joint in his body ached but he still felt better than he had all week and tomorrow he would have to go through it all again…but he wouldn't worry them.

"Alright, as good as possible I suppose." He said tugging at his beanie hat awkwardly, he still hadn't got used to having to wear a hat all the time let alone having no hair to fuss over every morning.

"Right, so I'll get right to it then…I was thinking, seeing as this is your last day of freedom…well until you have your next chemo and feel all icky and rubbish, I thought we could do something together, you know fun but not too exhausting so you can enjoy the day before you have to feel crappy again." She said brightly as Lucas frowned, fighting back a smirk before looking across at Peyton quickly who smiled. He sighed and looked back at Haley.

"Thanks for the reminder…sounds good though, what did you have in mind?" He asked, somewhat wary of Haley's little schemes, they seemed to always end in him getting in trouble or embarrassed in some way.

"Well I was thinking the three of us could hang out at the Rivercourt, get some lunch if you're up to it Luke, maybe you could teach me and Peyton how to do some jump shots?" She said looking across at Peyton and grinning. Peyton stepped forward cocking an eyebrow and tilting her head, her arms folded.

"Speak for yourself Hales, you're the only one who sucks at basketball. I, on the other hand, happen to have an excellent jump shot." She said with a smirk as Haley laughed and Lucas scoffed, in turn receiving a mock glare from Peyton.

" Agree to disagree. Anyway, then maybe we could hang out, watch a movie?" Haley continued turning to Lucas.

He grinned, he was so glad he had Haley here through all of this. She didn't treat him any differently, she didn't pity him and she didn't baby-sit him, she was just Haley. She'd joke with him, tell him if he looked bad and she'd be honest and she'd try to cheer him up and that's why he loved having her around, because she was his best friend.

"It sounds really great Hales, I think I'll pass on lunch though. I have to check with Keith and my Mom first though. Be right back." He said grinning as he left the room. Haley watched him leave and made sure he was out of the room before she turned swiftly to Peyton.

"Oh My God! What is going on with you guys and before you answer, if you give me that 'Just Friends' crap I will slap you." Haley said, her face dead-pan as Peyton grinned embarrassedly. She looked down at her feet, she knew she would have to tell Haley…she would get it out of her somehow.

"Um well…I guess you could kind of say there is something going on between us." She mumbled flushing slightly as Haley let out a shriek.

"Oh My God! You have to tell me everything! This is so huge, you guys are together!"

"Well, you could say that…I guess we're just taking things slow. You know he doesn't need any extra stress with everything going on…" She said, smiling. For the first time since the hospital she had felt truly happy.

* * *

Lucas shuffled into the kitchen yawning widely when Karen spun around and smiled.

"Hey sweetie, I was about to check on you. It's time for your meds… you feeling okay? You look a little pale." She asked frowning as she made her way up to her son and checked his forehead. Lucas swallowed.

"I'm fine, really. Um…Haley had this idea to, go out to the rivercourt today…is it okay if I go?" He asked as Keith walked into the room. He smiled at Luke.

"Hey kiddo." Luke nodded in response as Karen furrowed her brow.

"Um…I don't know, do you think you're up to it? You know what the doctor said, you can't afford to catch anything the chemo weakens your immune system." She said as Keith headed over.

"I know but it's the last day before…before tomorrow and this is the one day I don't feel terrible. I promise I'll be careful and I won't be gone that long." He said pleadingly, hoping his mother would come round. He really wanted to get out of the house, he'd been stuck in here all week. Karen looked across at Keith, she knew she was being over-protective but she couldn't help it, she didn't want anything else to happen to her son, she loved him too much.

"Keith, what do you think?" She said. Lucas looked across at Keith who frowned.

"I think it should be okay, but please Luke…be careful and if you start to feel bad come home okay?" He said as Luke grinned.

"I will, thanks so much!" He said quickly hugging his mom who sighed, suddenly it just felt like a normal day, Lucas was asking to go to a party or something…it suddenly felt like he hadn't got sick…

"Hey, you still need to take your meds." She said bringing herself back to reality.

"I'll sort it out Karen." Keith offered and Karen smiled.

"Thanks." She kissed Keith softly on the lips before walking off to the bedroom. Lucas watched as Keith shook two pills from the bottle and handed them to Luke who took them reluctantly and swallowed them dry, he hated the pills he had to take, they made him feel sick and dizzy and when you put that on top of the chemo he couldn't even stand straight. Keith watched as Luke downed the pills and he repressed a sigh, he could already see how much of an effect this was having on his surrogate son. He had lost so much weight, he looked exhausted and he just looked so…ill. He never would have imagined this could have happened to him, he was a good kid and he didn't deserve this. He knew this was only the beginning as well and it was only going to get harder from here on.

"Luke, be careful today okay? You know how much me and your mother worry, don't give us a reason to okay? You know you have to be careful, I don't want anything happening to you." He said seriously. Lucas swallowed and looked up at Keith.

"I know, I'll be fine Keith. Thanks for taking care of my mom. I'm glad you're here." He said seriously, he owed Keith so much. He was the only father figure he had ever had and he had been there for him through so much…Keith smiled.

"Me too. When did you grow up so fast Luke? The way you're handling this is so amazing, I'm so proud of you, you know that?"

Lucas grinned and hugged Keith tightly. He was so glad he was back…he needed him right now, he was sure if it wasn't for Keith his mother would have fallen apart by now.

* * *

"No…no wait, put your hand up higher and keep it straight." Lucas said taking Peyton's arm and holding it higher whilst she gripped the basketball and giggled. Haley watched off court with an amused expression as Lucas tried to get Peyton to score at least one shot. Peyton giggled as Lucas ran a hand down her arm and she couldn't help but shiver.

"Is this it?" She asked holding up her arm, the ball teetering dangerously on her palm. Lucas laughed and wrapped an arm around her waist, his other hand directing her arm.

"Keep your back straight but bend your knees." He said as Peyton leant against him, trying not to laugh. She could feel his body against hers and she leant back, her face tilting against his. He grinned and kissed her lips softly, pulling his arm tighter around her waist and hugging her close to him causing her to giggle softly into his mouth.

"Come on guys, I'm still here you know!" Haley said from the sidelines but nevertheless wearing a smile, she couldn't deny that she was happy for them, and they did look cute…Lucas reluctantly pulled away grinning his heart fluttering

"Fine, come on then Haley…I think you two are ready for a little one on one." He said with a grin despite the tiredness washing over him. Haley grinned before putting on her game face and heading over to Peyton who straightened up and folded her arms.

"You're going down biatch." Haley said seriously causing Lucas to laugh and Peyton to raise an eyebrow.

"We'll see about that."

Lucas grinned and sat down on the nearby bench, glad to be off his feet. He wasn't used to being this active, his mom usually had him cooped up in bed and resting and suddenly he was up and about and he had to admit it was taking its toll on him. He yawned widely as Haley picked up the ball. Even though he was exhausted he was glad they had got him out of the house, they were really helping him take his mind off things and it felt like everything was back to normal. He watched Peyton and smiled, he loved being with her, after their encounter they had finally admitted how they really felt and now he just felt so happy and so comfortable with her, he didn't have to bottle things up anymore.

Haley dribbled poorly down the court and Lucas let out a laugh as Peyton snatched the ball and ran across the court, not even bothering to dribble. Both girls giggling, Haley pounced on Peyton, jumping onto her back both screaming and scrabbling for the ball. Peyton swung around wildly, hands still clasped firmly on the ball whilst trying to jerk Haley off her back. Lucas laughed loudly even though his head had started to pound…Finally Peyton dropped the ball and it rolled across the court as both girls fell to the ground in a heap giggling and panting breathlessly…

"Not playing are we Luke?" A familiar voice asked from the sidelines. Lucas swallowed and looked up slowly his heart pounding as he began to register exactly whose voice it was. Peyton and Haley stopped giggling and sat up, both still seated on the asphalt as they looked up, both gazes fixed on the figure standing by the court, the discarded basketball tucked safely under his arm.

"Just as well, the state of your game last time I was here these two would probably beat you anyway."

Lucas began to slowly get up from the bleachers, his joints aching as his exhaustion protested…he stood up and looked directly at him…his brother. He was back.

"Nathan…" Haley began breathlessly but she trailed off as she looked into his eyes unsure of what to say, they hadn't exactly left things on the best of terms. He looked away and fixed his eyes back on Lucas…

He had changed, he was thinner…a lot thinner and that was saying something for a boy who was verging on skinny anyway. He looked like he hadn't slept in days and why on earth was he wearing a beanie hat in this weather? He thought absently. He was still pissed at him and he wasn't letting things drop, he couldn't help it he was stubborn…Dan Scott was his father afterall.

"What's the matter Luke? Got anything to say?" Nathan teased with a harsh scowl on his face. Lucas swallowed, his head now pounding. He didn't want to start anything with Nathan because he couldn't win a fight if he tried, at the moment he was even finding it difficult to stand. Before he even had a chance to open his mouth Peyton jumped in.

"Back off Nathan." She said seriously, her voice low and warning. Lucas glanced back at Nathan as he scoffed…he wished he wouldn't do this.

"Oh so you have them fighting your battles now do you? You're pathetic." He spat causing Luke to flinch slightly. He didn't want it to be like this but he knew when Nathan got this way he couldn't get through to him, he'd have to leave it.

Haley seemed to sense the danger and she got to her feet, joining Peyton and walked slowly over to Lucas.

"Come on guys let's just go." She said quietly, grabbing her bag from the bench as Peyton went to Lucas' side, squeezing his arm gently as they began to walk away back to the car, leaving Nathan standing alone on the court, a sour expression on his face.

"You just going to ignore me then?" He yelled angrily. Lucas closed his eyes beginning to feel dizzy, it was too hot out here and he needed to sit down…

"I've been gone all this time and I don't even get a welcome back hug? Oh wait why would I seeing as you're not even my brother anymore, not after what you did." He snapped. Peyton and Haley were already shoving stuff into the car whilst Lucas stood there, trying to block out his brother and at the same time trying to keep himself upright…his chest felt tight and he couldn't breath properly, his head was spinning and his heart was pounding…

Nathan swallowed, he was going to make that ass listen to him…he couldn't just think he could ignore him.

Nathan lunged forward, snatching the back of Lucas' head and yanking the hat from his head in a swift fluid motion…He pulled the hat back with a smirk before stumbling backwards..

He felt like he had been punched in the stomach…What? He didn't understand…Now it all made sense, how thin he was, the paleness, the dark circles under his eyes, how tired he was at practice…

His throat felt like sandpaper as he struggled to swallow whilst Lucas whipped round quickly, stumbling slightly. They looked straight into his other's eyes and Nathan could see the hurt in them…

"Lucas." Peyton whispered starting to walk towards him, Lucas quickly snatched the hat from Nathan's loose grip and took off towards the trees on the other side of the court leaving a stunned Nathan behind with Peyton and Haley. Nathan just stood there stunned as Peyton took off running after Lucas whilst Haley stood there, her arms folded and her eyes shining with tears as she looked up at Nathan.

He couldn't stand to look in her eyes, he could see the hurt, the anger…the woman he loved, she probably hated him.

"You're an asshole." She spat her voice shaking as she looked up at him, her brown eyes brimming with tears, he couldn't stand seeing her cry.

"Haley I.." He began not even sure what he was going to say, he just needed to explain…he needed to find out what was wrong with his brother…

"Save it Nathan." She said shaking her head before running off after Peyton and Lucas who had disappeared into the trees leaving Nathan alone on the court, the river trickling at the side of the court as the wind picked up. He blinked furiously replaying that look in his eyes over and over…what had he done?

* * *

Lucas struggled onwards, dodging through the trees as his heart hammered against his ribs as he struggled to draw another breath. His head was spinning and he could barely walk straight. He stumbled and leant against a tree, panting heavily as his vision greyed slightly…He let tears burn in his eyes as he closed his eyes tightly. The look on his face…he knew. He could feel his stomach churning violently and he knew he was losing the battle to keep the minimal contents of his stomach. He bent double as a violent heave caught him causing his whole body to tense as water and bile gushed from his mouth. He wretched and heave, his whole body constricting in pain as beads of sweat formed on his forehead. He leant heavily on the tree as he began to tremble, tears streaming down his face as he breathed in shakily willing the heaves to stop…

"Lucas?" Peyton called softly as she rushed over to him, she reached him and found him leaning heavily on a tree, barely able to draw deep enough breaths and hunched over obviously in the middle of being sick.. His face was pale, too pale and he looked terrible. She felt fear grip her as she placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Lucas?" She said more urgently causing him to slowly open his eyes and look up at him, he wiped his mouth on the back of his sleeve with a shaking hand and coughed slightly. She felt tears sting in her eyes as she gathered him up into her arms and hugged him tightly as he trembled in her arms.

"He knows." He whispered softly, his voice barely audible over the rustling trees as Peyton rubbed his back gently and whispered into his ear, her warm breath tickling his ears.

"I know, but it's okay…don't worry Luke. It's okay…I just need you to concentrate on breathing okay? Just breathe for me and we can get you home okay?" She whispered soothingly as he leant against her, still trembling as he struggled to draw breath…Haley approached and swallowed as she saw how terrible he looked, she felt a lump rising in her throat. This wasn't fair, why was this happening? Gradually his breaths evened out and he relaxed, his head still throbbing he straightened up…wiping his hands hurriedly over his face as Peyton looked up at him.

"You okay?" She asked softly. He nodded gently and Haley offered a weak smile.

"Hey buddy…"

"Hey" He replied weakly.

"You ready to go home?" She asked. Again he nodded not trusting his voice…he just hoped that by the time they got back to the car Nathan would be gone so he wouldn't have to face him; he just wasn't ready to have that conversation yet.

* * *

Nathan folded his arms over his knees as he sat on top of the bench…he couldn't believe this, this couldn't really be happening could it? Everytime he closed his eyes he could just see his face when he turned around…He…his hair he…he knew what it mean but…how could it be that? He was 17, he was fine before he left…Well how would he know? He had been too busy making his life a misery to even notice if anything was wrong!

He sat up suddenly and scrambled to his feet as he noticed Peyton, Haley and Lucas walking across the court. He could see how terrible Lucas looked, he could barely walk straight. He couldn't help but notice Haley and Peyton's glares as they walked past him. He rushed over to them as Lucas got unsteadily into the car, slamming the door behind him.

"Luke I…I didn't mean it I was…I'm sorry just tell me what's going on! Lucas!" He pleaded as Luke pulled his beanie hat lower and turned away, sinking down in his chair as Peyton fired up the engine.

"Please just wait! I'm sorry just let me…Lucas!"

Peyton pulled out of the drive and backed out as Nathan was left standing there, Lucas shooting one last glance back towards his brother before the car disappeared from view. Nathan was left alone…He gritted his teeth and angrily kicked the nearby garbage can. He paced around the court frustratedly…He needed to talk to Lucas.

* * *

Love it? Hate it? Review it, you may find this chapter being edited because I don't think it's good enough. Let me know what you think. A lot more happens in the next chapters anyway...

Next Time: Lucas is upset and Peyton comforts him, Brooke calls Luke, Haley talks to Nathan...


	11. You have me

Okay sorry for the long wait but like I said I've been so busy. Anywho I had to write this really quickly but I hope it's okay Thanks for the great reviews so far. Enjoy and please review!

* * *

Karen leant against Keith, resting her head in his chest as he wrapped a protective arm around her, pulling him tighter to himself. She sighed and blinked tears from her eyes as she glanced at the photo standing on the coffee table, Lucas when he was six years old; His bright blonde hair shining in the light as he clutched a basketball, showing off his gap-tooth smile. She felt a single tear roll down her cheek, he looked so innocent, so care free compared to the weight he had to carry on his shoulders now. It wasn't right, how was it fair that a 17 year old kid with his whole life ahead of him, with a future had to face this?

Keith looked down at Karen and swallowed as he saw her crying silently, he followed her tear-filled gaze across to the photo frame standing on the coffee table. He sighed softly remembering when the photo had been taken, they had taken Lucas down to the park for a day and Keith had taught him how to play basketball…He squeezed Karen's arm gently and she turned her face slowly up to his, her brown eyes shining with tears. He felt his heart ache, he loved her and Lucas so much and he hated that they had to go through this.

"Hey, hey. Don't cry." He whispered softly puling her tightly into a hug, she leant further into his chest letting the tears fall faster as her breath hitched in her throat.

"This isn't fair Keith! Why does this have to happen to him? He's a good kid, he's done nothing to deserve this." She cried softly, her voice wavering. Keith swallowed hard, his throat dry as he blinked quickly and rested his head gently on top of hers. He knew exactly how she felt and he didn't know how to answer her questions seeing as he had been thinking the exact same thing the whole time, he knew Lucas was a good kid and he had made a few mistakes in the past but he didn't deserve to have to suffer through this, no one did.

"I know he is, but he'll get through this. You know how tough, how stubborn he is. He wont let this beat him, you know he'll be okay. I know this is hitting him hard but look he's even out the house! He's not going to let this get to him." He said reassuringly, hoping he himself would believe this too. He had to stay positive through this, for Karen's sake as well as Lucas'.

"I know but…I can't stop thinking what if something happens? What if…What if the chemo doesn't work? What if they can't do anything for him? I can't lose him Keith." She said looking up at him with desperate eyes, warm tears streaking rapidly down her cheeks. It nearly broke his heart looking at the desperation in her eyes, she was voicing all his fears and he didn't know what to say to reassure her, to make it all better because it was a real possibility. The fact that they could lose him was a reality and it scared him to death.

"Karen you can't think like that okay, you just need to stay positive. They're doing everything they can and in most cases the chemo stops it. Stay positive for his sake. He has so many people to help him through this, not to mention the best mother a son could ask for." He said with a slight smile, trying to appear calm on the surface whilst on the inside all the things she had just said were rushing round his head. Karen swallowed, blinking quickly trying to clear the tears from her eyes.

"You're right…Thanks, I think I'd go crazy if you weren't here." She said softly with a slight smile causing Keith to grin.

"I think I'd go crazy if I _wasn't_ here."

* * *

Lucas pushed the front door and stumbled through unsteadily, his head pounding as the room spun slightly. He could hear Haley and Peyton calling after him as he walked through the door but he couldn't turn back, he couldn't talk to them right now…he knew it wasn't there fault but he just needed some time. He hadn't wanted for things to happen this way…

Karen and Keith got to their feet as Lucas stumbled past. She swallowed shocked by her son's appearance. He had looked so much better this morning, well for the circumstances and now he was so pale, his eyes were bright, he looked so exhausted and he was stumbling.

"Lucas?" She called out as he continued onwards and she suddenly felt a hot surge of fear grip her. She glanced across Keith who was frowning, wearing a matching expression of concern.

Lucas closed his bedroom door behind him as he reached his bed, his head still pounding and his heart racing as his whole body ached with exhaustion. He collapsed onto the bed and buried his face in his pillow, juts wishing he could forget today ever happened, wishing he never got sick, wishing this would all just go away.

"Lucas?" Karen called after him as her son disappeared into her room, she swallowed hard her heart starting to pound…Something was wrong, she knew it. A few seconds after Lucas had disappeared Peyton and Haley scrambled into the room both calling after her son. They glanced across at Karen and flushed slightly whilst Karen and Keith just stood there, neither knowing what was going on.

"What's going on?" Keith asked as Karen walked over to Lucas' bedroom door to find it shut.

"Luke? Are you okay sweetie?" She asked softly. There was a pause, she received no answer. She frowned slightly and looked back towards Haley, Keith and Peyton.

Peyton ran a hand through her silky blonde hair, sighing with frustration. As they looked to her for answers.

"We uh…we bumped into Nathan at the Rivercourt." She began as Haley sighed and began to chew on her nails. Karen and Keith exchanged worried glances.

"He's back?"

Haley nodded not trusting her voice, she couldn't believe Nathan had done that, fair enough he didn't know but still…this day was supposed to cheer Lucas up, make him forget.

"And um…they had a little um…run in and Lucas is upset. I think Nathan knows." She said her voice shaking slightly. She felt horrible, she knew Lucas was upset and she just wanted to comfort him but she didn't know whether he would let her in, it was still early days in their newfound relationship and she didn't know what to do. Karen swallowed and nodded as Keith sat down with a sigh. Why couldn't things just go smoothly for once?

Karen knocked softly on the door again before opening it slowly. She was worried about him, he looked awful when he came in and he had enough to deal with let alone adding another thing to the pile. She stepped slowly into the room unaware that she was even holding her breath until she let it go. Lucas was sitting on the edge of the bed holding his beanie hat in his hands, his head down. He looked slowly up and she could see tears shining in his eyes. She felt her own eyes watering as she walked forwards and sat next to him, gathering him up into her arms as he leant against her. She felt tears roll softly down her cheeks as she rubbed his back. She could feel him trembling in her arms and she held him tighter.

"It's okay honey…it'll be okay. Nathan is your brother…he loves you. It's okay." She soothed softly.

Lucas sighed, gripping the hat tightly in his hands as they shook slightly. He pulled away feeling less dizzy and he could see his mother's shining eyes.

"It's not just him though…it's everything. It's like everything is coming down on top of me at once and I just don't know how to deal with this. I can't deal with Brooke, Nathan, Peyton, this whole thing! I finally felt a bit better this morning and now it's just all going to start again tomorrow! It's too hard mom." He said desperately, his voice wavering as he looked into her eyes, a painful lump rising in his throat as he swallowed hard.

Karen desperately blinked back tears, willing herself not to cry in front of him. She had to stay strong for him. But he was her son and he was in pain, he was suffering and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

"Oh Luke…I know, I know. I'm sorry, I know this is hard but I know you can do this. It'll get easier honey. You've just got to make it through these first few weeks." She said soothingly, her arm around his shoulder as he sighed.

"Yeah but I went out today and I could see the looks people were giving me, I don't want their pity mom." He said rubbing the back of his head absently, it still came as a surprise to him when he found nothing there…

."I know but I can't help that sweetie, you'll just have to ride it out. Luke, you'll get through this okay. It'll be okay, you have so many people here for you."

Lucas nodded slowly and sighed still wringing the beanie hat in his hands.

"I know, thanks Mom." He said softly.

"You don't need to thank me Luke, I love you." She said smiling.

"I love you too mom."

* * *

Peyton knocked softly on the bedroom door, her hands shaking as she listened for an answer. Karen had come out about half an hour ago saying he was sleeping. She knew she shouldn't wake him but she was hoping she was awake, she needed to see him. She needed him to know she was here for him. She waited for a few more seconds in silence and sighed resignedly, getting ready to turn around when the door opened a crack and his face appeared in the gap.

She smiled and he opened the door wider offering a weak smile before she stepped slowly towards him and wrapped her arms gently around him, pulling him into a hug as she slowly curled his arms around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder.

"Hey." She whispered as she rubbed his back gently.

"Hey" He replied softly before they drew apart. She looked up into his eyes and offered another smile .

"Are you okay?" She asked knowing it was a dumb question and she would probably receive a fine in response. He sighed and looked down at his feet before meeting her concerned gaze.

"Not really, but I will be." He said as they stepped into the room. He sat down on the bed and Peyton joined him, taking his hand in hers and giving it a small squeeze, she just wished she could take away all the pain, take away everything he was going through.

"I'm sorry about today Lucas…I" She began but she was cut off quickly.

"Hey, don't it's not your fault. It's not even Nathan's fault, he didn't know. I just wish things didn't have to happen this way. I wish I could have told him, I wish we weren't fighting. But it doesn't matter. I can't do anything now. I'm just glad I have you." He said, kissing her forehead softly.

She leant into him as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. She loved him so much but she was scared, she was scared that she would lose him. She was scared that he wouldn't love her. She couldn't help but feel insecure, she never stopped loving him, even when she was with Jake but half way through this year he was suddenly professing his love for Brooke and now he loved her? Did he really love her or did he just think he did?

She was being stupid, she knew she was but it didn't stop her feeling those things.

"I love you Lucas." She whispered. She turned her head to face him and looked into his eyes and she could see he was smiling tiredly.

"I love you too Peyton. I mean I still can't believe we're back together, after everything that happened."

Peyton swallowed and smiled, leaning against him.

"I know, last year was a mess and I don't suppose this year has started that much better but…this can work can't it? You and me?" She said.

Lucas stroked her arm gently and rested his chin gently on top of her head, hugging her close to me.

"I know it will work Peyton, because I love you and I trust you more than anyone. I know it will work because I never stopped loving you." He said seriously as she felt tears in her eyes. She looked up at him.

"Even when you were with Brooke?" She asked quietly her heart racing as he frowned.

"Brooke was…she was a distraction, she was always second best. I thought you didn't want me, you weren't interested anymore and Brooke was there. She was…she was fun, I loved her but…I wasn't _in _love with her. But you, I love you Peyton and I know things will be okay as long as I have you." He said looking straight into her shining hazel eyes.

She could hear her blood rushing in her eyes as she stared back into his eyes, lost in the moment as she leant closer. Their lips met in a soft gentle kiss as she leant in further, the kiss deepening as she ran her hands gently down his chest. She felt shivers rush down her spine and she felt numb all over as she relaxed into his embrace, their lips parting.

"Good answer."

* * *

The wind whistled through her ears as she stood on the courtside, her golden hair blowing around her face. She watched him dribble up and down the court, pounding the ball hard against the asphalt and occasionally making a shot or two. She sighed as he stood still, bouncing the ball and she knew he knew she was there. They stood in silence for a few more seconds, the ball still bouncing continuously as the wind rustled the trees, the branches creaking. He looked up, straight at her and stopped bouncing the ball. He tucked it neatly under his arm and they stood there for a few more seconds. Staring. He broke her gaze and looked down at the floor before walking forwards, closer to her. He finally met her gaze, his brown eyes shining as they looked into hers. She swallowed hard, her throat dry and her heart hammering.

"Haley…I…I didn't mean." He stammered nervously before she cut him off.

"Nathan don't. Just let me talk okay?" She said as he shifted slightly and nodded. She paused, wondering exactly what she was going to say she had it all worked out in the car but now, now she was actually in front of him it was gone.

"You need to talk to Luke. He's upset and he has a right to be…Today you…you were a…" She began as he looked up at her.

"An asshole?" He offered a slight smile shining in his eyes even though his expression was blank. She smiled slightly

"Yeah."

She flushed and shifted her feet slightly, how could he still manage to do this to her? After everything they had been through, everything that had been said she still managed to love him. Another uncomfortable silence hung heavily in the air which was broken by Nathan promptly sinking another shot, the ball bounced back to him and he caught it easily before turning back to Haley.

"What's wrong with him Hales?" He asked quietly not able to meet her eyes as he looked down at the ball in his hands, twirling it around. Haley blinked quickly and sighed softly. She was dreading this, she put her hands in her pockets and stiffened slightly before looking back at him, his gaze now on hers and his eyes wide with worry and anticipation.

"He…has cancer. Leukaemia." She said her voice trembling, every time she had to say it made her feel sick because she knew she was talking about her best friend, not some poor person on the news, not a friend of a friend, not someone in a book or a film, her best friend.

She looked up from the floor and up at Nathan and she could see he was looking down at the basketball. He slowly looked up and she could see tears glistening in his eyes, she felt her stomach turning as he slowly turned and walked away out towards the river. She watched him, tears brimming in her eyes as he stood at the bankside still holding the ball with his back to her. Her legs trembling, she slowly walked forward and stood next to him as the river rippled the dimming sunlight bouncing off of the surface. She looked out over it before glancing across at him.

"How long?" He whispered his voice shaking.

"About a week and a half since he found out. He was feeling bad for ages before that but he didn't say anything, we only knew something was wrong when he passed out." She said, images rushing through her head, Lucas passed out on the floor, lying in a hospital bed, barely able to stand…

Nathan blinked quickly as he felt his eyes burning with unshed tears.

"He was lagging in practice, he couldn't keep up. He was tired all the time; all I did was use it against him. I should have noticed.." He said bitterly, she could hear the hurt in his voice.

"Nathan…" She began softly.

"No Hales, he's practically the fastest guy we have. Why didn't I notice that suddenly he couldn't keep up? He's my brother for god's sake! I'm so stupid" He said a single tear rolling down his cheek which he wiped away quickly. Haley felt her heart ache for him…

"Nathan, none of us knew…no one realised. Half the time he hid it anyway because he didn't want people to worry. This isn't your fault, there was nothing you could have done." She said soothingly placing a hand awkwardly on his shoulder, at least he didn't shrug it off, that was something.

"I've been such dick to him, he was only trying to help me with the Dan thing and I wouldn't talk to him because he went to see you…I'm so pathetic, I've probably ruined our whole relationship with nothing. He probably hates me and he has a right to." He said bouncing the ball again, feeling the familiar tingle of the thick rubber under his hands.

"Nathan, he doesn't hate you. He needs you; he needs his brother through this." Haley replied tucking her hair behind her ears. Nathan let out a long sigh.

"I'm sorry Hales."

Haley frowned slightly.

"I think you need to apologise to Lucas rather than me." She said her heart fluttering slightly as she caught his gaze.

"I need to apologise to you too Haley…these past few months I…I mean." He stammered nervously, Haley smiled slightly.

"Nathan, I know we have to sort things out but….can we do it another time? I mean not that I don't want to but it's like…you need to talk to Lucas first okay? There's time for us later." She said wincing slightly but relieved when Nathan smiled slightly.

"You're right…don't worry about it. Thanks Haley." He said offering a weak smile. He couldn't believe this was really happening though, he brother, his older brother had an illness, an illness he could die from. This was serious. He needed to talk to him.

"Nathan…welcome back." She said as she walked off towards the car leaving Nathan with a sad smile on his face.

"Thanks." He whispered to himself as she got into the car and drove away.

* * *

A/N  
I know it was short and uneventful but it's necessary for the next part and I needed them to be separate. Hated it? Loved it? Let me know. Thanks!

Next Time: Nathan and Lucas talk. Lucas has his next chemo and it hits him hard. Brooke visits Lucas and further on...Dan finds out


	12. Little Brother

Thanks for the great reviews guys! Sorry for the delay I've been on holiday in sunny old Devon! Anyway please leave a review and tell me what you think

* * *

Lucas winced and gritted his teeth as the nurse slid the needle smoothly into his arm, he swallowed and looked away; even with having chemo and various injections the sight of a needle going into his skin still made his stomach turn. He glanced up at the IV stand which stood next to the chair and sighed; he didn't know how he could do this all over again. He had spent most of last night with Peyton just talking and as he watched the minutes tick by on the clock he had known it was getting closer and closer to now.

The nurse finished up and shot him a bright smile.

"All done, if you need anything just press the button okay?" She said brightly. He forced a tired smile, he had only been in for chemo twice now but he was already starting to get to know the nurses. Amy, who had just left the room, was his favourite so far; she didn't patronise him.

He looked around the empty room and yawned widely, Keith and Karen were sorting out some insurance thing quickly and Peyton had left to use the bathroom. He knew Haley was coming pretty soon, he hadn't seen her since she went to talk to Nathan yesterday.

Almost on cue the door opened and Haley stepped into the room, poking her head around the door and shooting him a warm smile before walking into the room.

"Hey Buddy, how are you feeling?" She asked glancing at the IV stand. He smiled and welcomed her hug as she reached forward and wrapped her arms around him.

"The usual I suppose…how did things go with…with Nathan?" He asked looking down at his feet, he couldn't stop thinking about what had happened yesterday, no matter how many times Peyton had told him things would be alright he still felt worried about it…

"Well I talked to him and…he's so sorry Luke. I'm not excusing what he did but he didn't know and he feels terrible. He just wants to talk things out with you but he's scared that you won't want to because of how he's acted." She responded as she watched Lucas shift in his chair and wince slightly as the IV tugged.

He was silent for a while unsure of how to respond. How was he supposed to feel? He swallowed and ignored the churning in his stomach.

" I know Hales it's just…it's like basically everyone knows and I don't know how he's going to react. I know I'll probably need him around but…this is so confusing. I don't want him to talk to me just because I have cancer. If he hadn't have found out he wouldn't be talking to me…I don't want pity." He responded his voice trembling slightly, he was feeling more and sicker as he looked up and met her worried gaze.

"Luke that's not what this is about. You have a point saying he might not be talking to you if it wasn't for you getting sick but all that did was made him realise exactly what you mean to him Luke! It's a wakeup call so he's realised what a jackass he's been." She said smirking slightly.

"He just wants to talk and work things out, he want to be here for you like everyone else. He's your brother Lucas." She said softly as Lucas swallowed, his mouth dry and sore.

"I know Hales…It's just that this is another thing to deal with and…"

He trailed off as Peyton entered the room with a bright smile.

"Hey, hope I'm not interrupting anything." She said as Haley frowned slightly before smiling.

"No…I was just talking to Luke about Nathan…Will you at least talk to him?" She said looking towards Lucas who sighed wearily.

"Okay…I'll talk to him." He mumbled resignedly. Haley smiled and Peyton sat on the arm of Lucas' large armchair provided by the hospital and kissed his cheek softly.

"You feeling alright?" She asked quietly as Lucas frowned slightly. Truthfully he felt terrible, every bone in his body ached and his head was spinning, his stomach was churning violently and he felt so weak…

He nodded and instantly regretted it as the room spun.

Peyton and Haley looked down at him and Peyton's heart skipped a beat as she saw how pale he had suddenly become, his eyes were glazed and she could hear his breathing had become shallower. Fear suddenly overtook her and she glanced worriedly over to Haley only to her find her face showing exactly how she felt.

"Lucas, are you sure?" Haley asked more urgently as Lucas slouched slightly, swallowing hard and closing his eyes.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He whispered, he just needed to sleep or something. He was so tired…

He felt his eyes drooping slowly shut as his head spun faster and faster, Peyton's worried cries growing fainter as they disappeared from view…

XxxxX

He could hear voices, soft murmurs that sounded far away. He frowned and tried to focus in on the sound as it seemed to get louder, the soft voices talking above him. He swallowed thickly and found his throat dry and sore, his whole body felt heavy and numb but at the same time he could feel the cold in his bones. He suppressed a shiver and tried to find his way out of the darkness, trying to find out what was happening. As his senses gradually became sharper he was aware of someone stroking his hair softly. He could hear the voices again and he struggled to open his heavy lids.

He slowly opened his eyes and blinked a few times, squinting against the bright lighting above. He swallowed again with difficulty, the voices now coming into focus.

"…He'll be coming later then? I suppose it will be good for him to have someone else around. I just hope that…Lucas? Lucas honey?" His mom asked softly as she stopped stroking his hair and sat up slightly, looking directly into his tired blue eyes, her own shining slightly with unshed tears.

"Mom…" He said his voice a little raspy, it was then that he realised he was lying down. He was still in his own room but he was lying down, the IV still stuck in his arm and his Mom at his bedside with Keith sitting on the other side.

His mom smiled down at him and squeezed his hand gently.

"What happened?" He asked softly. All he could remember was talking to Peyton and Haley about Nathan and then everything was just a blank.

"You passed out honey, the doctor said it was exhaustion and too much stress. It's to be expected from time to time. You just need to relax and take things easy okay?." She said soothingly whilst smoothing invisible creases in the bed sheets. Keith rested a hand gently on Luke's shoulder and smiled.

"I know you hate this son but you need to do everything you can to make things easier for you to get better okay?" He said. Lucas nodded and sank back into his pillows with a sigh. He hated this, he was so weak and he could barely do anything without feeling worse. He had taken so much for granted before, now he couldn't even have a day out with his friends without passing out from exhaustion.

Karen smiled sadly and rubbed the side of his cheek gently with her hand.

"You can't keep scaring me like this Luke." She said with a slight smile. Luke offered a weak smile.

"Sorry Mom."

"Okay well Peyton is outside and I'm sure she will break the door down if she doesn't get to see you so me and Keith will be downstairs getting some lunch if you need us okay. Please Luke just look after yourself, we're worried enough about you as it is." Karen said as she headed towards the door. She offered a smile before opening the door and walking out. Lucas barely had a second to blink and process what had happened before Peyton rushed into the room and launched herself on Lucas, pulling him into a tight hug.

"God Luke, don't ever do that to me again okay? I was just talking to you and a second later you were unconscious and you wouldn't answer me and I thought that something was really wrong and…I was so scared Luke! I love you so much." She said as she drew away her eyes red from crying. Lucas gently cupped her face in his hands and looked into her eyes.

"Hey, I'm not going anywhere okay so don't worry. I won't leave you." He said softly. Peyton blinked quickly and took his hand from her face and took it in hers.

"But Luke you can't promise me that…" She said her voice cracking as tears formed in her eyes, knowing that no matter how many times she told herself that he would be okay it didn't make it true, there was a still a chance that he could be taken from her.

"I know I can't Peyt but you have to believe me when I say it. Besides how could I ever leave you?" He said with a smile. She blushed and kissed him softly. She drew apart and hugged him tightly, resting her head on his shoulders as they just sat there in silence.

XxxxX

Lucas had finished up the second round of chemo but the doctors had thought it would be best to keep him on overnight just to be safe and check up on how he was doing. Peyton had stayed with him most of the afternoon whilst he had been puking again and she stayed with him, rubbing his back when he was reduced to the painful dry heaves. She had sat with him whilst he slept and given him extra blankets when he was too cold. When he was sleeping she had played scrabble with Karen, Haley and Keith none of them wanting to leave Lucas' room. When it was about 5 o clock Haley had disappeared somewhere and Karen was phoning the school again about getting some school work sent over and Keith had gone home to pick up some things for Luke. Peyton was sitting alone with Lucas both running through their favourite films.

"…You cannot put Happy Gilmore in your list of great films!" Peyton said with a giggle as Lucas smiled embarrassedly.

"Hey, I it's entertaining and you haven't even seen it. Anyway, look who's talking? The girl who said She's all that was a good film." He said, grinning as Peyton smiled.

"Well…it had Freddie Prince Jnr in it." She said flushing slightly. Lucas smiled and leant back against his pillows as Peyton nuzzled against him, squeezing into the small hospital bed next to him. He wrapped an arm around her and sighed; even though all afternoon he had been puking and had felt so ill he couldn't stand she managed to make him forget about all of that. It didn't matter because she was here lying with him and she was making him forget how terrible he felt. They lay there for a few minutes in silence, him just breathing in the sweet smell of coconut shampoo that clung to her hair. He didn't know what he would do without her…The door to the room opened and he looked up sluggishly, not wanting to have this moment with her interrupted. Instead of Haley or his mom or Keith somebody else stepped into the room, someone he had been dreading a visit from all day.

"Nathan?" Peyton said as she sat up, she stared at the boy as he stood in the doorway; his hands were shoved into his pockets as he stood there awkwardly barely able to keep his gaze fixed on his brother without looking away after 2 seconds.

"Um Hey Peyton…Lucas." He said finally meeting his brother's gaze and swallowing hard as he took in his appearance.

"Hi." Lucas said quietly.

A long, awkward silence hung heavily in the room as Nathan looked down at his shoes and Lucas down at his hands whilst Peyton just looked between the two boys.

"I um…I'm gonna go and get a coffee…You two…uh, you two talk." She said awkwardly as she slid off the bed. She offered Lucas a smile as he looked at her pleadingly before kissing him on the cheek and breezing out of the room leaving Nathan and Lucas alone in the silent room.

Nathan looked up at his brother and swallowed, he looked worse than he had the other day. He was paler than ever and he had dark circles around his eyes, he had varying bruises up his arms and he looked so thin and weak and…sick. He still could barely process what was going on, his brother couldn't have cancer, he couldn't be sick. Lucas had always been so strong and healthy and he didn't deserve anything like this, how could he be so sick? Suddenly he realised he had been standing there in silence for nearly a whole minute and he cleared his throat.

"Hey." He said. Lucas looked up and their gazes met.

"Hey." He replied before looking away, obviously uncomfortable with the situation but who could blame him after what had happened.

Again another silence had begun and Nathan didn't have a clue what to say. What did you say to your brother that had cancer and a brother you had been a complete ass to…he had to say what he had come here to say in the first place.

"Lucas I…I'm SO sorry…I didn't know and…" He stopped as suddenly as he had begun unsure of where he was going…he could feel Lucas' eyes on him as he looked down at his shoes, his heart hammering.

"I was still mad about…hell I don't even know why I was mad any more but the point I'm trying and…failing to make is: I'm sorry, I'm sorry for being an ass. I'm sorry for not being there for you. I…I'm sorry." He finished somewhat desperately as he looked pleadingly to his brother.

Lucas sighed and sat back against his pillows before looking up at his brother…

"It's okay…you didn't know, how could you? It's not your fault." He said softly but sincerely. He offered a weak smile as reinforcement and he could see nothing but relief written over his younger brother's face.

Nathan frowned, how could he just forgive him so easily? He had been a complete ass!

"You mean that's it? You're over it? Lucas how can you just forgive me just like that? I was…I was _horrible._" He said edging forward slightly. He could see a light film of sweat forming on Lucas' brow and his breaths were shallow…Lucas swallowed again, his empty stomach twisting and churning violently as he fought the urge to collapse into another bout of dry heaves.

"Nathan, I understand okay. You didn't know, I screwed up this Summer. It's okay. Brothers are supposed to forgive each other right? I know that things haven't always gone smoothly with us but…you're still my brother man and I'd rather have you on my side through this than having us fighting again." Lucas said breathlessly as his stomach turned again. He gripped the bed rails tightly as he breathed out slowly trying to force the nausea away…

Nathan let a small smile creep across his face as he watched his brother who managed a weak smile in return.

"So we're okay then?" He asked uncertainly.

Lucas nodded not wanting to open his mouth through fear of vomiting again…

"Good because…Luke are you okay?" He asked suddenly noticing how pale Luke had gotten and the green tinge on his cheeks. Lucas shook his head again.

"I'm gonna…I'm gonna be sick." He whispered in between breaths as Nathan blinked before pulling his hands from his pockets.

"Oh…oh um…here take this." He said grabbing a bowl from the side and placing it in Lucas' trembling hands. He put it there just in time as his brother doubled over, heaving violently as only a small amount of bile left his mouth. He shuddered and gripped the bowl tightly, still trembling as he bent over breathing raggedly as he willed his stomach to settle. He felt beads of sweat as his stomach rebelled again causing another heave. His stomach muscles ached dully as his whole body tensed. He felt his eyes watering and Nathan rubbing his back awkwardly as he coughed harshly.

Nathan gulped as he watched his brother fight to control the heaves wracking his body, he awkwardly reached out and rubbed his back not knowing what to do. He couldn't stand seeing him like this; it wasn't supposed to be like this. Eventually Lucas stopped heaving and collapsed back against his pillows breathing heavily and sweating as his eyes watered. He looked utterly exhausted. Nathan moved the near empty bowl and placed it on the side before standing awkwardly by his brother's bedside.

"Do you uh…do you need anything?" He stammered as Lucas closed his eyes, still panting with exhaustion and trembling slightly. He shook his head. Nathan nodded to himself before lowering himself into the chair at his bedside and sighing.

"How are you dealing with this Lucas? I mean if it was me I would be totally freaked out but you…it's like you're just getting on with it, you seem so strong." He said slightly in awe of his brother but at the same time just trying to make conversation. Strong? Lucas thought…he had never felt weaker in his life.

"I don't know, sometimes it's like I still don't believe it's real…I feel like I'm just going to wake up and it will all be a dream but other days I just have to…get on with it." He said hoping he would change the topic soon, he hated talking about it. It made it seem too relevant, if they weren't talking about it he could push it to the back of his mind and pretend it was a normal day.

Nathan couldn't believe how grown up his brother was, he couldn't believe how he was handling this. He could tell he wasn't comfortable with the conversation though because he had that same frown he always wore when someone was talking about something awkward or embarrassing.

"So…I uh…I see you're back with Peyton then?" He said changing the topic, wondering why suddenly it was so hard to talk to his brother…he had a lot of damage to repair.

"Yeah, she uh…she's been really great through this actually." Lucas said suppressing a yawn.

"That's really great for you guys…shame about me and Haley though." He said sadly. Lucas sat up slightly and frowned.

"She loves you, you love her. There shouldn't be a problem Nate. Talk to her." He said firmly causing Nathan to smile slightly.

"I wish that me and Peyton had talked sooner about our feelings for each other because then maybe we could have been together long before this happened, then maybe we'd have some memories when I wasn't in bed half the time or puking." He said and he meant it. He wished they had sorted things out sooner, he had known he still loved her but he had been too scared to act on anything so he had hidden with Brooke again.

"You're right but…it's so hard with everything that happened." He mumbled

"Life's too short, I of all people should know that. Just talk to her, I know she wants to sort things out as much as you do." He said

Nathan looked down and nodded to himself.

"When did you get so smart?" He said with a smile looking up. Lucas grinned.

"I've always been the smart one."

Nathan laughed.

"Well…God doesn't give with both hands." He responded as Lucas raised an eyebrow.

"It looks like he didn't give with either for you."

They both laughed enjoying a moment where things were like they used to be and a silence ensued but this time it was a comfortable one.

"Does Dan know?" Nathan asked suddenly causing Lucas to look away and swallow.

"No…I don't want him to." He said softly and Nathan sighed.

"Okay Bro…I just want you to know that…whatever you need? I'm here for you, through this okay?"

Lucas smiled

" I know little brother.." He said softly as Nathan pulled him into a hug. He breathed out softly and smiled. Maybe things would be okay afterall…

* * *

A/N Okay I hated this chapter lol It was hard to write and nothing happened lol I may end up editing but it was sort of a filler chapter. If it was crap tell me because I really don't like it...the next chapter will be better I promise.

Next Time: Lucas struggles with the chemo effects, Whitey talks with Nathan and Lucas gets a visit from someone unexpected..


	13. I want to be here

Sorry for the delay and thanks for the great reviews, this is two chapters combined so enjoy

* * *

Lucas had been forced to stay the night in the hospital just so they could monitor his condition over twenty four hours, he had spent most of the time awake and throwing up or dry heaving. The anti-nausea medication had helped a little but it hadn't made much of a difference, he still felt terrible. Peyton had stayed the whole night with him even though he insisted that she went home and rested but as stubborn as she was she refused and slept in the armchair at the side of his bed. He was so glad he had her through this. She made everything that little bit easier

Eventually after being checked over by the doctor and being handed yet another lot of prescriptions he was allowed to go home but by this time he was half unconscious with exhaustion.

And so now Karen was sitting at his bedside watching him sleep uneasily, pain written across his face even when he was sleeping. She had come close to tears when he couldn't stop heaving…he was so weak he could barely hold his head up. She couldn't stand seeing him like this, so helpless and worn down. She just wished it could be her instead of him.

She gently reached out and rested her hand on his forehead, relieved when it came back a normal temperature and she sighed softly to herself. She just wanted this all to go away and to go back to normal…not that things were ever normal in tree hill but she just wanted her son to be okay, so he could go back to living a normal life, going to school and basketball practise, worrying about assignments and girls rather than chemo and medication. Like any mother she just wanted the best for her son.

As Lucas began to stir slightly in his sleep, she sat up looking down at him as he frowned and mumbled slightly in his sleep. He turned slightly under the sheets before his heavy eyelids fluttered slowly open. He was immediately hit by a pounding headache that felt like someone was trying to kick a hole through his temples. His eyes felt heavy with fatigue and his whole body ached. He looked around, the room spinning as he struggled to get his bearings when he realised he was in his room. He frowned and closed his eyes again his stomach churning violently as he swallowed and breathed in shakily, praying he could keep hold of the contents of his stomach, not that there was anything left.

He felt someone touching his shoulder and gently whispering to him and he immediately recognised his mother's voice.

"Luke, it's okay…how are you feeling?" She asked softly, watching as he breathed shakily, frowning in pain. Not trusting himself to open his mouth he waved his hand in a so-so gesture. Karen frowned as she watched him carefully…he hadn't eaten or drank anything at all…

Lucas frowned, furrowing his brow and rubbed his temples with his eyes closed, his head pounding. He suddenly felt a familiar lurch in the pit of his stomach, he swallowed shuddering as his mother quickly reached for the trash can by his bed and he leant forward, violently heaving. The already strained muscles in his stomach flared with pain as he gripped the can, his whole body convulsing as beads of sweat formed on his clammy forehead. He could feel his mother rubbing his back but he couldn't hear her words over the increasing ringing in his ears. Another violent heave caused him to lurch forward again, still nothing coming from his stomach as he closed his eyes, exhausted to his very core…

Eventually he had managed to breathe deeply enough to steady himself and he collapsed back against his pillows with exhaustion, breathing raggedly as he closed his eyes. Karen watched him worriedly, her heart hammering as tears stung in her eyes. She watched as within seconds her son drifted off into an uneasy sleep, completely exhausted.

He was getting worse…how could she deal with this? So many people cared about him and nobody was ready to lose him.

XxxX

Peyton hummed softly to herself as she placed some dry crackers on a plate and grabbed a bottle of juice from the fridge before kicking it shut with her foot and walking across the kitchen. She carefully balanced the two objects in her hands as she stepped over a pile of car magazines that Keith had left on the floor and walked over to the couch were her boyfriend was curled up, half asleep and struggling to keep his eyes open.

As he saw the blonde coming he opened his eyes and watched her, warily eyeing the food in her hand and balking slightly. She smiled as she saw him open his eyes and look up at her.

"Hey you." She said softly causing him to smile slightly as she sat down at the foot of the couch. He sat up slightly, resting his head against the arm of the couch and adjusting his beanie hat so it wasn't pulled low over his brow.

"Hey." He rasped, his throat stinging.

"Okay, today on the menu. Dry crackers and apple juice, plus as a starter two delicious Compazine tablets." She said brightly with a wide smile. He wrinkled his nose in disgust causing her to laugh slightly.

"Come on Luke, I know you feel terrible but if you don't eat it's just going to get worse. Keith and Karen have recruited me on eating duty because they know how stubborn you are and the only person as stubborn as you is well…me." She said holding the plate of crackers out. Lucas frowned, he honestly didn't know whether his stomach could take anything right now…he felt so terrible.

"Please Luke? For me?" She said holding them out closer wearing a puppy-dog expression and pouting causing Lucas to break his frown and smile slightly, he couldn't help it around her, it was like her smile was infectious.

"Fine, but one." He said reaching out and picking up a cracker causing Peyton to grin.

"Thank you Lucas." She said reaching forward and kissing him on the cheek. He reluctantly chewed on the dry cardboard thinking absently how it tasted of cardboard as he swallowed a small piece with difficulty, willing his stomach to settle.

Peyton watched him carefully before offering the opened bottle of juice.

"Thanks" He said as he took a tentative sip. They sat there in silence for a while as Lucas managed another cracker and Peyton handed him the two pills which he swallowed dry.

"So, Nathan and Haley are coming round later. Nathan said something about NBA something or other on the X box?" She said struggling to remember as she manoeuvred her position so she was next to Lucas. He nodded

"NBA live, cool…so what are you going to do today?" He said looking up at her and she frowned.

"I'm staying here with you of course." She said frowning and Lucas swallowed. She watched him curiously…

"What?" She asked as he turned to face her.

"Are you sure? I mean ever since…since I've been sick all you've ever done is spend time here. I don't mind, I mean it's fine by me but…I just feel like I'm taking up your life and you should have your own life outside of me. You should be able to go out and do what you want." He said sincerely, he had been thinking about how much of her time he had been taking up and to be honest he felt guilty. She swallowed and looked at him surprised.

"Lucas, I want to be here! I like spending time with you." She said looking into his baby blues and noticing the huge dark circles around them. He sighed slightly.

"I know Peyt but I can't help but think that you need a life outside of me, you practically live here. I love spending time with you and I love you but you should be out having fun and doing stuff rather than being stuck here and looking after me." He said his voice wavering slightly. Peyton swallowed and looked at him, taking his hand in hers.

"I could be Lucas, I could be out right now shopping with Haley or out with Bevin and the girls but I'm not and it's not because I think I have to be here it's because I want to. I love you Lucas and I love spending time with you. Regardless of whether you are sick or not I want to be here with you." She said squeezing his hand and causing him to look up.

"But why? I'm not exactly the best of company." He said lowly, looking back down to the floor.

"Because you're cute, you're sweet, you're kind and you're funny. Because I love you Luke, I love everything about you. I love that you're such a sweet guy, that you'll almost everybody before yourself, that you make me laugh, I love the way you think you can dance and I love your stupid little quotes. I love YOU Lucas and why can't you understand that I just want to be with you." She said her eyes shining as he looked up at her, swallowing hard. They sat there staring at each other for a few seconds before he leant forward and kissed her softly, cupping the back of her neck in his hands as he pulled her closer to him. She relaxed into the kiss feeling shivers run down her spine as he gently caressed her. They drew away and Luke smiled slightly.

"Sorry." He whispered. Peyton smiled.

"Don't be…I understand…anyway I'm getting sick of you now anyway." She said with a flirtatious smile. Lucas grinned and moved forward.

"You couldn't ever get sick of me." He said with a smile, ignoring the dizziness as he leant forward and kissed Peyton again feeling the same spark he always felt between them.

A few days later

Nathan leant over his homework and sighed, where was Haley when you needed her? Since he had got back being around Lucas so much had allowed him to get closer to Haley. He felt so terrible about the way he acted when she came back and he wished he could take it all back. Maybe it was because of Lucas, him getting sick had really put things into perspective for him, life was short and you didn't know what was going to happen next. He loved Haley and he wanted to be with her. So he wasn't going to waste any time being mad and bitter over something that happened months ago.

He frowned as he re-read the question and enjoyed the silence; he didn't get that at home. His Mom and Dad were bickering 24/7, he couldn't wait to find his own place. He sat back and sighed, Haley and Peyton were doing Grocery shopping, Keith was at work, Karen was sleeping after a night up with Lucas and Lucas was practically passed out on the couch.

It seems like since he came back everything had just become a total mess, he still couldn't get his head around the fact Lucas was sick…everytime he even heard the word cancer he would just tense up. Lucas couldn't have cancer.

He looked up from his books as Lucas made a small noise and shifted in his uneasy sleep. He could see pain written across his features even whilst he slept. He shifted again, tangled in the blankets before sluggishly opening his eyes. He looked around slightly disorientated before his eyes focused in on Nathan and he relaxed slightly. Nathan smiled.

"Hey bro, how are you feeling?" He asked, this was their usual routine. Lucas sat up slightly and yawned widely.

"Shit." He replied honestly causing Nathan to break into a grin.

"Sorry man, is there anything I can get you?" He asked putting down his pen. Lucas shook his head and immediately regretted it when his head pounded painfully.

"No thanks, looks like you're tied up in homework at the moment anyway." He said signalling to the pile of books in front of Nathan.

"Yeah, I've got a load of catching up to do…What are you doing about school and stuff anyway?" He asked. Lucas sighed and sat up pulling the blanket off and bundling it into a ball and throwing it to the end of the couch. His head was killing him.

"Well, Haley's been bringing me some work from school, it must be the inner-tutorgirl emerging again." He said with a smile causing Nathan to laugh slightly.

"I've only done one assignment, my heart's not in it really." He said. Nathan snorted.

"My heart's never in to homework."

The were was a short silence between the two of them before Lucas stifled another yawn.

"Do the guys on the team know?" He asked suddenly with a curious frown. Nathan shook his head.

"No, nobody does apart from the teachers. Whitey asked me how you were the other day. Said he might come and visit you. But other than that no one knows." He said truthfully. He had been questioned by the guys as to Lucas' whereabouts but he had just said he didn't know, afterall they didn't know he was cool with him now.

"Good, I'm surprised it hasn't got around the whole school yet." He said darkly causing Nathan to look at him questioningly.

"Oh Brooke knows." He replied, explaining and Nathan nodded knowingly.

"Oh right."

"Hey, you have basketball practise tonight right?" He said

"Yeah, why?"

Lucas swallowed, his throat dry…he had to do this at some point, he might as well do it now.

"I uh…I thought maybe I should tell the guys. Everyone's going to find out eventually and I'd rather tell them myself. Plus I get to watch Peyton cheerlead." He said with a smile and Nathan couldn't help but grin despite himself.

"Are you sure Luke? You know the guys gossip more than the cheerleaders."

Lucas nodded determinedly. He had to face up to this at some point.

"Okay, I'll drive you but you better ask your mom when she's up. You know she wants to wrap you in cotton wool, but you can't really blame her." He said referring to Lucas' current state.

"I suppose so." He said, his head still pounding. He frowned slightly and rubbed his temples.

"You want your meds?" Nathan asked and Lucas paused before nodding.

"Yeah thanks Nate."

"No problem bro."

XxxxX

"Are you sure you want to do this Luke?" Peyton asked as she linked arms with him, drawing nearer to the gym doors. Lucas turned to her and nodded.

"I'm sure, there's no use delaying the inevitable. I have to show my face at some point." He said. Peyton frowned, uncertain.

"But you look really beat Luke…are you sure you should be out?" She said worriedly. Lucas smiled at her protectiveness.

"Don't worry about me, my mum practically force-fed me some plain rice before we left. I'll be okay, I promise." He said kissing her on the forehead. She smiled and leant into his chest enjoying being able to be with him out of the house again.

Nathan and Haley caught up with the pair of them.

"Hey people, Luke are you staying the whole time?" Haley asked as Lucas looked around.

"Probably not, my mom is picking me up after about half an hour…if I stay any longer I'll probably pass out." He said honestly. They drew up to the gym doors and they could hear the pounding of basketballs against the court floor and Brooke commanding her group of cheerleaders. Lucas took in a shaky breath and looked down at Peyton, his stomach churning but as he saw her smile his nerves lessened. He knew it would be okay with her there. Nathan pushed open the doors and stepped in and Haley followed leaving Lucas and Peyton. He looked at her and smiled weakly before stepping in.

He could feel everyone's eyes on him as he walked into the gym but he could also feel Peyton's arm linked in his and it comforted him slightly. He could see the cheerleaders watching the pair of them curiously whilst his team mates looked over. Before he knew it Whitey was walking up to him, a smile on his face.

"Hey son, didn't think I'd see you in here for a while. How are you?" He asked somewhat seriously. Lucas smiled.

"Um…I'm managing I guess." He said and Whitey smiled sadly.

"The team hasn't been the same without you you know? I'm sorry I haven't visited you or anything but it's been pretty hectic over here, trying to find someone to replace you actually." He said causing Lucas to smile slightly.

"It's no problem. I thought I would just watch for a bit maybe? If that's okay?" He said uncertainly and Whitey smiled, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Of course it is…"

"I was um…thinking of telling the guys actually." He said quietly, noticing the players all watching him, their eyes obviously drawn to his appearance…most likely his head. Whitey nodded.

"Okay, are you sure? If you don't feel up to it I can if you want?" He offered

"I think it would be better coming from me…Although I expect most of them will have some sort of clue by now anyway." He said and Whitey nodded, the sad smile coming back.

"Okay, if you need anything just give me a shout okay? And Lucas?" He said as Lucas began to walk to the bleachers, turning around.

"I'm proud of you son." He said softly, causing Lucas to smile.

Peyton walked back over and sat down next to Lucas.

"You okay?" She asked and he turned and smiled weakly.

"Yeah…though I can't say I'm that comfortable with all the staring."

"It'll be okay." She said softly…

As practice began Lucas sat there and watched, longing to be able to join in with his team mates, he had forgotten how much he had missed the game until now. The thrill, the excitement. He hadn't been able to ignore the stares of the cheerleaders or their whispers, nor Brooke's odd glances towards him but to tell the truth even though he felt pretty terrible it felt good to be back in school with a familiar crowd.

Whitey glanced across at Lucas sitting up on the bleachers, he was worried about the kid. He looked so…sick, so worn down and a shadow of his former self. He could see the cancer was taking its toll on the boy and he didn't like it. It wasn't fair, he was a good kid and he didn't deserve this.

Brooke could barely concentrate on the routine she was supposed to be Lucas, she found herself looking over at Lucas the whole time. She had been trying to work up the courage to see him all week but everytime she had got close she chickened out. But now, seeing him there, looking the way he did she couldn't believe it. She knew he was sick but still…she hadn't really processed it until know. She knew everyone was staring and she knew what they thought…

As it drew to the middle of practise the boys all went into the locker rooms for a break and Lucas followed Whitey in there, his heart hammering in his ears. He swallowed with difficulty as he looked around, the guys all getting changed but one by one as each of them noticed him there they turned around. Some smiled whilst others merely stared; Nathan shot Lucas a supportive smile.

The changing room fell silent and Lucas looked around nervously, his stomach fluttering with nerves.

"Um…hey guys. I…I know I haven't been around for…well a while but I…I have a reason and…I need to tell you something." He stammered aware of everyone's eyes fixed on his. He caught Tim's, Skill's and Nathan's eyes briefly before looking away.

"I…I wont be playing anymore…because I…I'm sick…I have cancer."

Silence ensued as everyone stared at him open mouthed. He swallowed hard and looked around, his eyes burning slightly. He felt Whitey's tight grip on his shoulder and even though it was beginning to hurt it was oddly comforting. Finally someone spoke up, it was Tommy, a guy Lucas was quite good friends with. They had English together.

"We're here for you man." He said quietly and everyone nodded it seemed like this was the one sentence to spark off everyone else as everyone walked over and began to offer condolences and sympathies. He was pulled into several manly hugs and handshakes when eventually it died down and Lucas glanced at his watch he had to go soon and it was just as well, he was starting to get exhausted. He eventually managed to get out of the room where Nathan and Whitey followed him. He spotted Peyton and she shot him a smile.

He stood there for a few minutes more, talking with Whitey and Nathan about the upcoming season, mainly so he could take his mind off what had just happened…what he had just had to do. He knew the whole school would know now. He felt his stomach churning slightly and he knew he had to get home soon or he would spill the contents of his stomach right there onto the gymnasium floor.

He felt pretty terrible but he was glad he had done this, it meant no more hiding away and dreading everyone knowing…

XxxX

Lucas lay on the couch, Peyton curled up next to him. She had watched a film and he had fallen asleep after about ten minutes and then woken up to find Peyton asleep in his arms. He smiled slightly as he looked down at her sleeping form and planted a soft kiss on her forehead. He loved her so much, he just wanted to make her happy. She deserved it. He thought. He swallowed hard, suddenly registering how terrible he felt as he slowly sat up and manoeuvred so that he could get up without waking her. He got unsteadily to his feet and was suddenly hit by a wave of dizziness, he stumbled slightly and walked over to the kitchen. His head was throbbing and it felt like someone was trying to kick a hole through his temple as he leant over the sink, breathing in deeply as he fought back the nausea that was coming on strongly.

Why did he suddenly feel so terrible? He had been alright earlier. He closed his eyes as he struggled to draw a deep breath, the room spinning violently in front of him…why was it so hot in here? He felt his stomach flip as a familiar rush of nausea washed over him…He drew a ragged breath and stumbled away from the kitchen, his limbs feeling heavy as lead as he staggered down the hall to his room. He could feel sweat running down the sides of his face as he struggled to command his legs forward to the bed. He closed his eyes and collapsed onto the bed…his head still throbbing in agony as he drifted off into darkness…Peyton blissfully unaware as she slept in the other room and Karen and Keith sitting happily in the bedroom…

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A/N I know it was a bit rushed but oh well, hope you liked it and please Review...Im a review-junky 


	14. I wont leave you

A/N Sorry for the delay, thanks for the great reviews

* * *

Peyton stirred slightly, shifting in her sleep as she let out a low groan and slowly opened her eyes expecting to be met by harsh daylight but found only the glowing embers of a rising sun. She yawned widely, blinking quickly to erase the sleepy fog from her eyes as she looked down at her watch. 5:30 AM?

She sighed and lay back on the couch, she knew she wouldn't get to sleep now. It was a problem she had; once she was awake she couldn't get back to sleep. As she lay back against the couch cushions she suddenly realised…Lucas had been sleeping on the couch with her. They had been watching a film and they had both fallen asleep. Frowning she sat up and looked around the semi-dark living room. Maybe he had just gone to his bed, his bed was a lot more comfortable than the couch that's for sure.

Stifling another large yawn she sat up and stretched her arms above her head before getting to her feet and walking across to the kitchen. She began pouring herself a glass of water; as she took a sip she enjoyed the smooth sensation of the cool liquid sliding down her throat and as they often did, her thoughts drifted to Lucas. She couldn't help but think how worn down he had been today, well more so than usual. She was worried about him, first he had dealt with telling everyone on the team which basically meant by Monday the whole school would know. He had so much to deal with…

She set her glass down and walked back across the lounge, tiptoeing silently, not wanting to wake up the whole house. As she crept down the hall to Lucas' bedroom she smiled to herself, even in the circumstances she was so happy to be with him, he just made her happy and that was all she needed. She loved him, she really did…

As she pushed the door open she smiled, her eyes settling on his prone form lying on the bed. He was still in his clothes and not even under the covers, he really must have been beat she thought absently.

She walked over and sat down on the bed, next to where he was lying. She gently stroked the side of his face and his forehead, enjoying the feeling of his soft skin against hers. As she gently touched his forehead she frowned…Still frowning, she flattened her hand so it was pressed lightly against his forehead before drawing it away, he was so warm! As she looked into his face she felt a chill in her stomach, her gaze travelled over the sweat lacing his face…her ears marking his shallow ragged breathing.

It suddenly felt like her heart had stopped and she couldn't breathe…fear gripping her she swallowed hard.

"Luke? Luke?...Lucas"" She cried getting louder with each call of his name, but she received no response each time. The icy feeling in her stomach seemed to be spreading as she looked down at him…This wasn't happening, he was just asleep. He was just asleep, she told herself. He'd wake up and be fine and she'd feel stupid for worrying, she told herself frantically.

Reaching out with trembling hands she shook him gently, his limp body simply lolling with her gentle movement, his eyes not even flickering.

"Lucas?" She cried her voice breaking slightly…he was breathing, at least he was breathing she thought as she marked the laboured rising and falling of his chest and listened to his ragged, shallow breaths. When he didn't respond she felt tears burning in her eyes, how could this be happening? He was supposed to be okay…

"It's okay Luke, I'm just going to get your mom…I'm coming back." She said trying to stay calm. As she ran from the room she stumbled across the hallway, willing herself to stay calm. Everything would be okay…

As she burst through the door to Karen's bedroom she watched as Karen sat bolt-upright, woken and startled by her sudden entrance. Rubbing her eyes and switching on the lamp she squinted up at Peyton, confused.

"Peyton? What the…" She began but seeing the terrified, panicked look on the girls face she froze, the realisation setting in.

"Oh God." She whispered as Keith stirred next to her. Peyton swallowed, stumbling over her words as she tried to explain.

"It's Lucas…" She cried and that was all she needed to hear before jumping out of bed. Keith sat up rubbing his eyes as Karen pulled on her robe and hurried from the room leaving Peyton and a confused Keith to follow.

The three of them hurried across the small hallway and into Lucas' bedroom where he was still sprawled out on the bed in the same position. Peyton stood back biting her bottom lip nervously as Karen rushed forward and immediately felt her sons forehead.

"He has a fever." She said worriedly as she shook him gently, again there was no response.

"Luke, Lucas honey wake up." She said urgently…She turned back to Keith her face full of worry and concern.

Keith edged closer and leant over, his brows knitted in worry as he shook Lucas.

"Lucas!" He said loudly, shaking him a little harder but this time there was a slight movement, his mouth twitching slightly. Karen noticed and leant forward.

"Luke honey it's mom…please wake up for me sweetie." She said a little louder, he groaned slightly and Karen swallowed…

"Mom?" He mumbled blearily, opening his eyes for second before closing them again…the harsh lights causing his head to throb. He swallowed hard, his throat dry and aching. He was so tired…the throbbing in his head was agony, his limbs felt like lead and he was sure he was about to throw up.

"Luke honey, you've got a fever…we need to take you to the hospital okay?" She said softly. Peyton watched, biting on her bottom lip as her mind raced. What was wrong with him? He'd never been this bad before.

He didn't even seem to register her comments as he closed his eyes again giving into the tide of tiredness that was dragging him under.

Karen felt tears brimming in her eyes and she pushed them back, she couldn't cry. She had to stay focused for Lucas' sake, something was wrong.

"Keith, help me get him up." She said her voice trembling…

Eventually Karen and Keith with a joint effort managed to get Lucas into the car, half unconscious he sat next to Peyton, leaning against the window barely able to keep his eyes open as he drifted in between consciousness a blanket hanging loosely around his shoulders. As they drove quickly down the dark streets she finally allowed the tears to slip silently down her cheeks.

She looked across at him, she could hear his ragged breathing as he coughed slightly. She just needed him to be okay, she didn't understand what was wrong…

XxxX

Once they had reached the hospital and explained the situation Lucas had been taken away and his doctor had been called…now it was just the waiting game. The three of them sitting there in silence, Keith and Karen wrapped in each other's arms and Peyton sitting opposite them.

She sighed and wrapped her arms around herself, she felt so alone. She just wanted Lucas; she wanted to feel his arms around her, for him to tell her everything would be okay. She glanced up at the clock for the hundredth time and chewed on her bottom lip.

What had only been 20 minutes had felt like a lifetime. She rested her head against the wall and closed her eyes, images of him lying there haunting her. Sometimes she forgot just how vulnerable he was, how easily he could be taken away from her.

She wished she hadn't wasted so much time with him, she had known she still had feelings for him for months but she hadn't acted on them because she was too scared. She looked across at Karen who was crying silently and she felt for her. She knew how much she loved her son and how much she did for him, she had looked after him the whole way through this and she could see how scared she was.

They were all just praying he would be okay and this was just a set-back, that it wasn't serious.

After a while the door opened and everyone looked up hopefully, but sighed inwardly when it was Nathan and Haley. They rushed in, Haley's eyes already sparkling with tears as she pulled Peyton into a hug. Peyton felt tears starting again in her eyes as Haley rubbed her back softly.

"Have you heard anything?" She asked as she pulled away, Peyton swallowed and shook her head.

Haley went to go and talk to Karen and Nathan walked up to Peyton and put an arm around her shoulder in a comforting half-hug.

"It'll be okay Peyt, I'm sure he'll be fine. You know how stubborn Luke is, he wont let this beat him." He said softly causing Peyton to smile weakly.

"Thanks Nate." She whispered.

Eventually everything had settled down and the five of them were waiting in an uncomfortable silence, still waiting for someone to tell them what was going on. Everytime the door would open everyone would look up hopefully only to be disappointed when another group of relatives came in and sat down.

As the clock ticked by the ritual continued, everyone tense with worry. Finally, after about 45 minutes the door opened and Lucas' doctor stepped in, everyone looking up expectantly. He looked around the room clutching his clipboard and peering over his glasses.

"Lucas Scott's family?" He said causing Karen, Keith, Peyton, Haley and Nathan all to get up relieved.

"If you'd like to follow me?" He said with a kind smile before heading out the door, everyone trailing after him.

They walked along the busy corridors before filing into a large office where he shut the door and stood behind the desk, slightly surprised by the number of people in front of him.

"Is he okay? What's happening?" Karen immediately asked, the worry evident in her voice. The doctor shuffled his papers and frowned, peering around at them all.

"Okay, well it seems that Lucas has developed an infection. Now this could be due to a simple common cold but the chemotherapy has weakened his immune system considerably, now what this means is not only is he more susceptible to viruses and infections but they affect him a lot more, some can even be life threatening." He said causing Peyton to swallow hard…

"But luckily this infection isn't but it is very dangerous, Lucas has a very high fever which is our main concern at the moment, he is also very exhausted and the infection also causes normal symptoms from a common cold. He will need antibiotics and a lot of rest, he also should be very careful about who he sees, keep him away from anyone with a cold etc.."

Karen nodded, sniffing slightly as Keith squeezed her hand.

"We will have to keep him in for a couple of days to monitor him and to make sure we get this fever down." He said shuffling some papers on his desk…Peyton felt like the world had been lifted from her shoulders, he was going to be okay.

Haley slipped her hand into Nathan's and gave it a gentle squeeze, causing him to shoot her a brief smile.

"Can we go and see him?" Keith asked causing everyone to look up.

"I don't see why not, you'll have to go in two at a time and I know this may sound stupid but if any of you have a cold or feel like you're getting one, don't risk it. Lucas is being moved up to the oncology ward on the third floor so he'll be in a room up there." He said. Karen nodded and promptly stood up, shaking hands with the doctor and Keith followed suit.

"Thank you doctor."

"I'll be on my rounds later and I'll come and check up on him." He said with a smile as they all left the room.

XxxX

Peyton sighed as she sat by his bedside, listening to the sounds of his steady breathing underneath the oxygen mask that was placed on his face. Her hand was entwined in his and she was stroking the back of his with her thumb, hoping he would just wake up so she could see his blue eyes and hear his voice.

He looked even worse than before now he was against the white hospital sheets, he looked so tired and worn down.

She just wanted this all to disappear, for everything to be okay for him, for them. She closed her eyes and let out a long sigh, finally letting the tears roll down her cheeks. She couldn't be strong anymore.

As the warm tears tracked down her face she felt the slight movement of his hand in hers and she looked up, her breath hitching in her throat. She watched as he frowned, his head moving to the side slowly as he groaned.

"Luke? Lucas, can you hear me?" She said leaning over him as he mumbled, his eyelids fluttering. She squeezed his hand gently…His eyelids fluttered again before opening, revealing a pair of tired, glazed blue eyes.

He frowned, closing his eyes and moaning weakly. He lifted a hand and gently tried to pull the oxygen mask from his face but Peyton took his hand.

"Hey, leave that sweetie…it's okay. I'm here, I'm gonna get someone okay?" She said softly, signally towards the door but he shook his head, regretting it as it pounded in pain. He felt so sluggish, sleepy and tired…it was so hot in here as well.

"Don't…don't leave." He said, his hoarse voice muffled by the oxygen mask. She swallowed, a lump rising in his throat as she turned back and sat down.

"I'm not going to leave you Luke." She whispered, stroking the side of his face softly.

"Stay." He whispered…he was scared, he felt so terrible and so weak and he couldn't remember what had happened…he just knew he needed her here with him.

Meanwhile.

Dan continued walking down the corridor, not really listening to what the chief medicine guy was telling him about the new ward, he really thought being the mayor would be more interested, with the power and everything but it turned out most of it was actually working.

As they walked along the oncology ward he saw a crowd of people sitting down, obviously waiting for a doctor or a loved one. He looked away, the thought of being around sick people kind of made him feel weird…he knew cancer wasn't catching but still…he hated hospitals. He wished he had never signed up for this hospital ward project.

As the drew closer he stopped walking, his breath catching in his throat…it couldn't be, it wasn't…He stopped, staring his heart hammering in his ears as the doctor turned back, frowning, obviously confused.

"Mr Scott what is it?" He asked. Dan didn't even register the comment, he was aware of the people staring at him now as his mouth went dry…

"Karen?" He said incredulously as the brunette looked up, her expression changing to open-mouthed shock…her eyes still red from crying.

What was she doing here?

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A/N Cliffy, sorry. Please review 


	15. Daddy dearest

A/N Thanks for the amazing reviews and sorry for the delay. Please leave a review and tell me what you think

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Dan stared at the small crowd in confusion, what where they doing here? Here in the hospital, on the oncology ward! Oncology as in…cancer patients?

He swallowed with difficulty as they all stood there staring. He didn't understand…who could they be visiting that had cancer.

"W…what are you doing here?" He eventually asked looking at the assembled crowd, Karen, Keith, Nathan and Haley.

Karen swallowed hard, blinking the tears quickly from her eyes and looking back at Keith uncertainly. What should she do? Could she really tell him the truth…he should know. Lucas was his son afterall.

She couldn't lie. How could she explain being here? But how could she tell him?

She could feel everyone's eyes on her as an uncomfortable silence fell upon the room, Dan still standing and waiting for an answer but dreading what was to come…

"I…I'm here for Lucas." She said her voice wavering as she looked up at Dan, willing herself to just hold it together.

Dan opened his mouth and closed it again, his heart hammering in his ears as he looked at her. She couldn't mean…wait…He frowned and looked back at her, his mouth dry.

"W..what do you mean?" He stammered, tripping over his words as he waited in dreaded anticipation for her reply.

Her hazel eyes slowly filled with tears as she looked into his, the father of her child…her sick child. He needed to know. Regardless of her feelings about him, he deserved to know the truth.

She could feel everyone waiting, waiting and watching to see what she would do, to see if she was going to tell him or not and the tension was thick in the air.

"Lucas…Lucas has cancer. Leukaemia." She said, the words hanging heavily in the air…she felt a single tear escape from her eye as Dan took a step backwards.

Cancer? Lucas had cancer? How could this be happening, he couldn't be sick…he was a kid. A good kid regardless of what he had said and done in the past he knew Lucas was a good kid and he didn't deserve this…Cancer? Just thinking about it made him feel numb.

He felt sick…He looked back up into Karen's eyes and he could see the pain and despair and he knew this was the truth. His son was sick…Leukaemia.

He could barely process it…

"Cancer?" He whispered. He could feel everyone staring at him. How long had this been going on? How long had they kept the fact that his son had a life-threatening illness from him? He was his father for god's sake…

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked his voice trembling as he looked around, no one apart from Karen was willing to make eye contact with him. Everyone else seemed to find the floor amazingly interesting.

Karen swallowed and looked defiantly back at Dan. She wasn't scared of him.

"So you expected me to just tell you after the way you treated me? The way you treated Lucas last year!" She retorted angrily. Dan looked away ashamed, he should have seen that one coming. Sure, he wouldn't exactly win father of the year but he still deserved to know what was going on.

Swallowing hard he looked back up at Karen to see her staring at him, no longer angry now he could see the sheer exhaustion on her face, the pain in her eyes. He had forgotten that Lucas was her son too and she was going through this with him.

"Is…is he going to be okay? I mean…what's happening, with everything?" He asked uncertainly. He still couldn't believe this was actually happening…the kid was only 17, he was fit and healthy. How could he be sick?

Keith looked across at Karen and he knew she didn't want to talk about it, he could tell this was hard for her…it was bad enough that Lucas had been bought in here and he wasn't doing well but now she had Dan to deal with?

"At the moment he's having chemo every week, he's only had it twice so far. Basically they're uh…they're hoping that the chemo will send him into remission." He said the words sticking in his throat, he hated talking about it…especially to Dan.

There was a long silence and Dan let out a long breath. How could this all have been happening and he hadn't even known?

"How long? How long have you known?" He asked looking up at everyone. Karen looked across at Keith and she sighed inwardly, she knew he would kick off but what right did he have? He may be Lucas' father by blood but that was it.

"About two and a half weeks." She replied. Dan reddened slightly. So they had known for nearly three weeks and nobody had bothered to tell him? He couldn't believe this, he was the boy's father! He caught Nathan's eye and frowned angrily…so his own son had known and he hadn't bothered to tell him.

"Nathan?" He said looking at him expectantly. Nathan shifted and put his hands in his pockets, looking up at his father.

"About two or three days." He said and Dan glared.

"So you didn't even bother to tell me that your brother has cancer? When you came home the other night and I asked you how things were going you didn't think to tell me?" He said growing angrier.

Nathan tensed.

"Why should I have told you? Because you're his "father"…how can you call yourself that. You've never been there for him and now you expect us to tell you everything that's been going on in his life? Maybe if you made an effort once in a while?" He said angrily, Haley squeezed his hand softly and he started to calm down.

Dan looked away, they were right. All of them were right. He just wanted to see his son, to try and at least talk to him.

An Awkward silence descended upon them as Dan wrestled with his racing thoughts.

"I…Can I see him?" He asked quietly.

Karen paused…should she let him? Lucas wasn't supposed to have many visitors at the moment because of his infection…plus would he want to see Dan anyway? She didn't know what to do, did he really just expect her to let him do what he wanted?

"Dan I…I don't know. He…he's not allowed a lot of visitors at the moment because of an infection he has…but, maybe in a few days when he's home again?" She offered. Dan sighed inwardly and looked up, nodding silently.

How could he have let himself become this person? If he hadn't have found out about Lucas he wouldn't have gone to talk to him, he may have wanted to but he would probably just make a snide comment in passing and that was the limit to his parental skills.

He needed to change.

* * *

Lucas' head was pounding, he could hear Peyton humming softly at his bedside and the sound was oddly comforting but it couldn't detract him from the throbbing in his head, the nausea raging in his stomach and the feverish realms he found himself in. He must have fallen asleep…

He didn't know what was going on, why was he back in here and he why did he feel so awful? He thought his head was going to split in two. He just wanted to know what had happened…

When he swallowed it felt like his whole throat was on fire, it was so dry and sore. Once he had found his voice he looked over to Peyton who was fiddling absently with the duvet.

"Peyt…wh…what happened? What's going on?" He asked hoarsely causing her to look up. She turned inwards so she was facing him directly and sighed softly.

"I…I found you passed out in your room and you wouldn't wake up. We had to take you here and the doctor said you have an infection, because the chemo affects your immune system it's a lot worse. You had a really high fever and now they're just trying to bring it down." She said sadly looking at him. He swallowed with difficulty and looked away, his chest feeling tight

He couldn't handle this…why was this happening to him. He leant back against his pillows and closed his eyes with a sigh, his headache felt worse and his whole body was aching with exhaustion and now after he thought things were getting better this was happening.

"I was so scared Luke…you wouldn't wake up." She said softly. It was true, she had never been so scared, she thought that was it…that she would lose him. Lucas nodded weakly.

"How long do I have to stay here?" He asked, his eyes still closed.

"A couple of days." Peyton replied quietly.

Horrified, Lucas felt warm tears welling behind his closed eyes. Tears of frustration, exhaustion and defeat. Peyton, noticing his change in emotion drew closer and rested a hand on his shoulder.

"Lucas what's wrong?" She asked worriedly. She just wanted him to be okay, that would make her happy.

He let out a shaky sigh, opening his eyes which were now glistening slightly.

"I can't take it anymore Peyt…"He whispered. Peyton swallowed hard and watched him as he struggled to form his next sentence, she could tell he was upset.

"Everytime I think things are getting better something just comes along and dumps all over it. I feel so shit and so tired and I can't deal with it all." He said desperately, his voice cracking as he looked up at her for help. He just needed someone to pull him all away from this and tell him it would be okay…

"It feels like everything is coming down on top of me and…I just want my old life back! I can't do this anymore…it's too hard." He cried, tears rolling down his cheeks as he finally broke down.

Peyton hurriedly gathered him into her arms, hugging him tightly and rubbing his back soothingly. He sobbed into her chest, letting two weeks of pent up emotion out at once…sobs wracking his chest as she hugged him, tears welling in her own eyes.

She didn't know what to say or do to make things better for him, she couldn't imagine how hard this was…all she could do was be there.

"It's okay Luke…it's gonna be okay, I'm here for you." She whispered, her voice cracking as he leant against her, gripping her shirt.

Outside the door, everyone had gone down to the cafeteria to force themselves to eat and Dan was left outside the door.

His hand resting on the handle he paused, unsure of whether to go in or not. He needed to see him but, would Lucas want to see him?

As he pressed down on the handle, about to go in he paused…listening he felt like the breath had been knocked out of him. He couldn't not recognise the voice…Lucas was crying, sobbing even and he could hear Peyton comforting him in muffled voices.

He let go of the door handle and stepped back…suddenly everything seemed so real. So…terrifying. His son was crying and there was nothing he could do…

He sat down on a nearby chair and placed his head in his hands and sighed. Why was this happening?

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A/N Sorry it was short but tell me what you think. There is a lot of drama coming up involvinga love triangle with someone you wouldn't expect... 


	16. Return to me

A/N Sorry for the huge delay and thanks for the amazing reviews! Little update, hope you enjoy:D

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"Nathan you can't write Boobs!" Peyton said with a laugh as Nathan laid down his scrabble tiles with a grin.

"Why not? It's a word and I have the letters! Oh and look…triple word score!" He said with a wide grin. Peyton and Haley couldn't help but smirk as Lucas looked up from his spot on the couch.

"Nice one Nate." He rasped, his throat still sore and raw from coughing.

Haley rolled her eyes.

"Typical. I can't believe he gets triple word score for frigging boobs!" She whined, looking down at her tiles and sighing.

"Haley, stop whining, just because for once someone else is winning at scrabble." She said and everyone laughed. Haley couldn't help but smile. Scrabble had become their thing, it gave them something to do and sometimes Lucas would play if he felt up to it.

They had spent the last week here with Lucas after he had been let out of the hospital. He was in a better mood because he had an extra week free from chemo so his body could recover but nobody had told him about Dan finding out…they hadn't had the heart to give him something else to worry about.

Peyton watched as Lucas coughed harshly again, she hated seeing him like this. She just couldn't see him making any improvements and it was breaking her heart.

"You okay?" She asked softly as Nathan and Haley began to argue in the background about a new set of tiles Nathan had laid on the board. Lucas smiled weakly and nodded.

"I'm alright…just tired." He said and she smiled at him, kissing his forehead softly.

She hated lying to him. Well she knew she wasn't exactly lying to him but she was hiding the truth from him and she hated it. She knew it was probably for the best whilst he was still getting over this virus but she couldn't hide things from him.

"Oh yeah, triple word score again!" Nathan yelled arms in the air. Peyton frowned; she never would have thought Nathan would be into scrabble of all things. Everyone peered over the board to see what he had put down.

"…jugs? Nathan what is wrong with you?"

"What it's a word!" He protested causing Lucas to smile. He loved having these guys here, it just made him feel normal again when they were joking around. He felt like they weren't tiptoeing around him all the time and he could have fun.

He lay back against the couch and sighed, his head was pounding and this cough was constantly irritating him, everytime he breathed in there was that same tickle at the back of his throat.

But still, he felt better than he had in a long time because he was skipping chemo this week and that was a relief. He had had a rough week, having this setback had just made everything seem that much worse, it was like he wasn't even getting better. He knew it would take a long time and there was a chance he might not ever get over this but being stuck in hospital had made him think…what was the point? What was the point in suffering through this if it wasn't doing anything? He hated feeling like this, so weak.

He looked across at Peyton as she laughed and he smiled slightly. He was just glad he had her through all of this. He didn't know what he'd do without her…

------------------------------

Karen sighed and leant against the counter. She had gone to work today but she hadn't got a thing done, she had spent the whole day worrying about Lucas. Since last week when she had found him unconscious and barely breathing she had still felt so terrified, it had really bought home the fact that she could lose him.

She knew how hard this was on him and she just wished she could make things better. She looked up as she heard someone walking into the room and smiled as she saw it was Keith.

"Hey." She said and he grinned and kissed her softly.

"Hey, you okay?" He asked and she nodded.

"Yeah…just thinking about Lucas."

There was a pause and suddenly Karen looked up again.

"Do you think he'll want to be involved?" She suddenly asked and Keith frowned, confused.

"Who?" He asked wondering what she was talking about, he could see how tired she looked.

"Dan…do you think he'll want to be involved, with Lucas?" She asked and Keith swallowed. He hadn't really thought of that, what if Dan wanted to be here? To be involved again…

"I…I don't know. Dan he…well he's a confusing person, he might, he might not. I guess we'll just have to see…" He said. He knew he couldn't figure his brother out, he was one of the most complicated people he knew.

Karen frowned. She didn't know if she wanted Dan suddenly being involved, he hadn't been before…and they hadn't heard from him all week.

"But do you think it's good for Lucas? I don't want him to be any more stressed out than he already is, he has enough to deal with." She said truthfully.

"Are you going to tell him that he knows?" Keith asked, crossing his arms.

"Tell me what?"

they both turned around to find Lucas standing in the doorway, leaning on the doorframe with his arms folded, looking confused.

--------------------------------------

Haley collapsed down onto the couch next to Nathan with a sigh, Peyton had run down to the store to get a few things and Lucas had said he was going to bed so now she was left alone with Nathan. It wasn't that things were bad between them, but things weren't great either. Since he had come back they hadn't really had a chance to talk anything out properly…things were still hanging in the air because they had been so involved with Lucas.

She looked across at him. Maybe this was their chance to finally straighten things out, to see where they were.

"Nathan…I…I was wondering if we could, if we could talk?" She asked softly and he turned to her, wearing a slight frown.

"Um yeah…sure." He said, suddenly growing nervous. What was she going to say? Things were actually sort of okay with them at the moment, they hadn't really talked but they weren't ignoring each other either…

"With everything that's been going on, we haven't really had a chance to talk…" She began, her heart hammering.

Nathan swallowed hard.

"Yeah."

An awkward silence hung heavily in the air as both of them sat there, not sure where exactly to go next with the conversation. Finally Haley broke it.

"I know I was wrong to leave Nathan, I know it was wrong but I need you to know that I never chose the music over you. I thought I could have both but I would rather be with you and never sing a note than sing and be without you." She said softly, looking into his blue eyes. She knew it was better to just come out with everything…

"I was mad when you left, I was hurt and when you came back I was just lashing out. I know I was wrong but you hurt me and I wanted to hurt you back." He said, looking down at his hands.

"I'm sorry." He said, lifting his head and looking into her shining hazel eyes. She smiled.

"Me too…I love you." She whispered, her heart racing.

"I love you too." He replied, leaning forward and their lips softly met before they sank into a passionate kiss, months of pent up feelings finally being released.

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Peyton smiled as she handed the cashier the money and accepted her change. Now had she got everything? Milk for Karen, car magazine for Keith, crackerjacks fro Haley and some gum for Lucas…

She checked everything off mentally before taking the bag and strolling out of the store. Today had been a good day so far, Lucas was in a good mood, everyone was happy and getting on and nothing had gone wrong…She walked through the doors of the store, humming softly to herself when she walked straight into someone. The bag tumbled from her arms and hit the ground, the milk spilling across the sidewalk and soaking the bag.

"Sorry!" She quickly apologised as she knelt down and tried to put the things back in the sodden back.

"Peyton?" The stranger asked, his voice seeming all to familiar. Her heart began to race and she felt like she couldn't breathe…it couldn't be?

She looked up and almost stumbled back in surprise…

"Jake?"

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A/N Duh duh duh...I know, a cliffy but oh well. LOTS of drama coming up though. Think Leyton think Jeyton think Karen think Dan...it should be good

Please leave a review!


	17. And the world came tumbling after

A/N Thanks for the great reviews and enjoy! Drama coming up

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"Tell me what?" Lucas repeated looking between his mother and Keith as they looked at each other uncertainly. What were they hiding from him? Karen looked at her son and sighed. She didn't know how exactly he was going to react, but he should know the truth, he deserved to know.

"Lucas…when you were in the hospital, Dan was there. He found out that…that you're sick. He knows Lucas. We didn't want to tell you because we didn't think you needed any extra stress when you just need to concentrate on getting better." Karen said studying her son's face for any reaction.

Lucas swallowed his head pounding and his stomach churning slightly. Dan knew? They hadn't told him Dan knew because they didn't want to stress him out? That wasn't an excuse…But the thing that got him the most, no matter how much he thought he didn't give a crap about Dan or what he thought…it still hurt that Dan knew and he hadn't even come to see him.

"Anything else you're lying to me about?" He asked bitterly and Karen flinched at his tone, taking a step forward and placing a hand on Lucas' shoulder gently.

"Lucas we didn't want to lie to you, we just thought it was for the best. We should have told you…" She said, tears in her eyes as Lucas shrugged her hand off.

"But you didn't mom. Look, I'm not pissed off I'm just…I don't want to be treated like an invalid, like I can't handle the truth. Just because I'm sick, it doesn't mean that you can't tell me things! I'm still the same person I was before." He said taking a step backwards.

"Lucas we don't think that, okay. We made a mistake." Keith said as Lucas sighed. They honestly didn't mean to hurt Lucas or for him to think they were treating him differently.

He didn't want to be angry but he couldn't help but feel annoyed, betrayed that they couldn't even tell him something small.

"I'm going for a walk." He said quietly with a sigh. Karen swallowed hard, concern rising.

"Lucas don't, you're not supposed to go out. You're supposed to be resting, getting better." She said taking a step forward. She just wanted him to be okay, for him to get healthy again so she didn't have to lie awake at night, scared that she would lose her child.

Lucas looked away.

"I just need to clear my head." He said softly before walking out the room and out of the front door, closing it deftly behind him, leaving Karen and Keith behind. Karen looked up at Keith, her eyes shining with tears.

"We should have told him, but seeing him in that hospital…it was so hard, I was just so scared I was going to lose him. I couldn't tell him…he has enough on his plate." She sobbed, burying her head in Keith's chest as he pulled her closer and kissed the top of her head, shushing her gently.

"Don't worry, he'll be okay. He just needs some time to himself. You did the right thing." He whispered.

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Peyton stared at Jake in surprise; she couldn't believe he was here…back in Tree Hill. She looked him up and down, he hadn't changed a lot. It was so weird seeing him again, after he had left she had been so messed up and seeing him again was bringing everything back.

"What…what are you doing here?" She stammered, forgetting the milk that was spilling across the pavement and the abandoned groceries. Jake offered her a small smile and helped her pick up the rest of her groceries.

"Me and Jenny, we've come to stay for a bit, to see my parents." He said, handing her the pack of gum and crackerjacks.

"How have you been?" Peyton asked, still staring at him as if he was some sort of phantom. She never thought she'd see him again, it was just so weird.

"Um okay…you?" He asked looking up at her. Still amazed by how beautiful she looked, her hair was shorter and straight, she looked amazing. He hadn't told her the full truth, that he had come back to see her as well. She smiled at him nervously.

"Good."

An awkward silence hug in the air as they both shifted uncomfortably, neither really sure of what to say to one another after all this time apart. Peyton swallowed hard, how was she supposed to tell him that she had moved on? That she didn't feel the way she used to, that she was with Lucas?

Jake studied her, he could tell something was up, she looked uncomfortable or nervous or something, whatever it was he could tell something wasn't right with her. Maybe he had made a mistake, coming back, showing up here…but he had just needed to see her so badly.

He bent down and picked up the last thing from the floor and looked down at it in confusion.

"A car magazine? Wow I must have been gone a long time because you were never that interested in cars before." He said with a grin. Peyton flushed slightly and took it from him, putting it back into the bag.

"It's not mine, it's Keith's." She said with a smile and he nodded before frowning.

"Keith's? He hasn't employed you as his personal shopper has he?" He asked with a grin confused as to why she would be buying something for Keith, he never thought they were that close…but then again a lot could happen in nearly a year.

She shifted and swallowed, her heart hammering hard in her chest. This was where she had to explain herself, explain that she had moved on, moved on with the every guy Jake had helped her to get over…

She laughed nervously, clutching the grocery bag to her chest. She knew she couldn't hide from this forever, besides, would he really be that bothered? He was the one who left afterall.

"I um…well I'm kinda living at Lucas' right now. I'm…I'm seeing him." She said with a small smile.

Jake swallowed hard, so she had moved on…with Lucas. He nodded numbly, she was back with Lucas. God why had he left? Why couldn't he have just stayed with her, or taken her with her and then they'd still be together and she wouldn't be with Lucas Scott…

" Oh…so uh…how's that going?" He asked, trying to hide the faint tremble in his voice. Peyton couldn't help the smile that crossed her face as she thought of her relationship with Lucas.

"Really great." She said with a smile before she could even think about how that would effect Jake, seeing the slightly disappointed look on his face she cleared her throat and looked down at the floor, desperate to change the subject.

"So…how's Jenny?" She asked quickly causing him to look up and his frown to ease.

"Oh she's great, getting bigger everyday."

Peyton smiled, she had missed Jenny. The little girl had managed to become part of her life and even though she didn't feel the way she had about Jake anymore, she still loved the little girl.

"Um, Peyton? Do you mind just walking with me for a bit? Just to, you know? Catch up and stuff." He asked hopefully, looking across at her.

Peyton sighed and looked at her watch, she needed to get back with this stuff and she'd promised Lucas that they could watch a movie or something…

"Jake, I don't know…I have to…"

"Please." He said desperately, cutting her off. She swallowed hard and looked away...uncertain of what to say.

"Um…I…oh okay then, but I can't be ages, I have to get back." She said with a weak smile.

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Lucas wandered aimlessly down the street, the cold wind biting through his thin T-shirt causing him to shiver violently. He knew he should have bought a jacket, chemo made him cold enough anyway.

He looked down at his watch, uncertain of whether to go back or not. He didn't really want to face his mom after his outburst but it was getting dark and he was tired, plus he had made plans with Peyton and he didn't want to blow her off.

He sighed shakily, rubbing at his arms as goosebumps raced along his skin. Stifling a large yawn he stopped, resting against a lamppost as he found himself short of breath, his chest feeling slightly tight. He still hadn't quite gotten over the infection; it was still affecting his breathing.

Maybe he should just turn back, no matter how mad he was. He just wished they would have told him the truth. He hated the thought of people pitying him, thinking he couldn't handle things just because he was sick…

As he turned around to head back home a familiar blonde walking through the park caught his eye, it was Peyton. She must have been coming back from the store.

He lifted his arm to wave at her but pulled it back when he noticed her walking with someone else. Squinting through the dim dusk light he frowned. Was that…Jake? Jake was back in Tree Hill?

He watched them stop and turn to face each other, obviously in the middle of a conversation. He shivered again and felt his heart beat a little faster as he saw her smile; he loved it when she smiled.

Suddenly the smile faded from his face as he watched Jake lean in, pulling Peyton into a deep kiss.

It felt like his whole world was crashing down around him as his heart leapt into his throat. It felt like he couldn't breathe. How could she be kissing him? He thought she loved him…

Tears spilling down his cheeks he watched in sick fascination, his stomach churning before he turned and ran down the street as fast as his shaking legs would carry him. His back turned, unable to see as Peyton pulled back stunned, slapping Jake hard across the face, her hand stinging.

She pushed him back, breathing heavily as she glared at him, her whole body shaking with shock and anger.

"Why did you do that? I told you I was with Lucas Jake!" She yelled as he looked away embarrassed.

She couldn't believe he would do that, just kiss her after she had been talking to him about how good things with her and Lucas were, she had left out the part about him being sick because she respected Lucas' privacy but how could Jake turn around and do that?

"I…I'm sorry Peyton." He stammered. She swallowed hard, her heart racing.

"Whatever." She turned to leave but something stopped her in her tracks…a familiar figure running down the road…Suddenly she felt like someone had slapped her round the face…

"Lucas." She whispered in horror…

* * *

A/N Cliffy! Woot lol, please leave me a review. They make me happy : D


	18. Tears and Rain

A/N Thanks for all the reviews and support! I'm glad you like this, I hope you like this chapter and please tell me what you think

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Peyton knocked lightly on the door, her hands trembling as she sniffed, wiped her eyes and blinked rapidly, trying to erase the traces of tears from her face. She knew this was the only person she could turn to, despite their recent differences they had always been there for each other and she needed her now more than ever.

She shivered and buttoned up her jacket as she waited for an answer, just praying she was in. She couldn't get Lucas out of her head, his face when he saw her and Jake, his voice when he told her to leave. How could things be falling apart so quickly?

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Brooke looked up as she heard a knock at the door and sighed, putting down her nail polish and blowing on her nails quickly as she hurried over to the door, looking down at her nails with a satisfied smile. She didn't know who would be knocking on her door at this time, she hadn't made any plans and she hadn't been her usual sociable-self since she had found out about Lucas. She had mainly just sat around thinking, feeling guilty and wondering how he was doing…If he ever thought about her, even though he was with Peyton now.

She opened the door and when she saw the girl standing on the porch her heart lept slightly.

"Peyton?" She asked, staring incredulously at the blonde in front of her, she could see in her red, watery eyes that she had been crying and she looked a mess to say the least. Something was wrong, very wrong. Pushing aside all her differences she stepped forward and pulled her friend into a hug.

Peyton stiffened in surprise at first before relaxing into her friend's embrace, letting tears fall freely down her face as she clutched at her top. She knew Brooke would listen, Brooke would understand that she just needed someone to hear her out. She just needed someone to listen.

Brooke rubbed Peyton's back, confused as to why she would show up here in such a state when she had Lucas…

Then it hit her and a sudden hot rush of fear shot through her. Lucas, maybe something was wrong with Lucas?

She drew back and looked at Peyton, both of them still standing in the doorway as Peyton cried silently.

"Peyton what's wrong? What's happened?...Is it Lucas?" She asked quickly as Peyton tried to compose herself. Peyton could hear the fear in Brooke's voice and she swallowed hard.

"No…he…he's okay but…he hates me Brooke!" She cried looking up at her. Brooke frowned and put her arm around her friend, not hiding her obvious relief that Lucas was okay. No matter how things had ended between them she still cared about him. She'd been trying to find the courage to go and see him but every time she tried to go she had to turn back because she couldn't face it.

"Peyton, look come in I'll get you a drink or a Kleenex by the looks of it and you can tell me what happened." She said softly and Peyton nodded tearfully, offering a small smile.

"Thanks Brooke." She managed in return as Brooke led her inside wondering what could have happened between the pair of them…

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Brooke listened as Peyton sat there, pouring her heart out to her even though they had barely spoken in weeks. She had missed her friend, missed this, Being able to confide in each other. Even though part of her still loved Lucas and she missed him, she knew that he was meant to be with Peyton. She had been blind not to see it, but knowing they were meant to be didn't make it hurt any less.

But, she wanted them to be happy. Lucas deserved it and so did Peyton and her and Lucas just weren't meant to be.

Listening to Peyton's story she could see why the poor girl was so distraught. Lucas was sick to start with and she had been there through everything and now he was shutting her out and not even giving her a chance to explain as well as her friends and his family. Brooke, of all people knew how it felt to make a mistake and to suffer for it.

As Peyton wiped her eyes and looked down at the floor sadly, she waited apprehensively for what Brooke would say. She was grateful for her allowing her to tell the full story but now she was waiting for her judgement, she'd understand wouldn't she?

"Peyton…I…" She began and Peyton looked up nervously, hearing the uncertain tone in her friend's voice before Brooke sighed loudly and looked Peyton straight in the eyes.

"You need to…Grow a back-bone! Geez! What has happened to you? The P.Sawyer I know would not let this happen to herself! The Peyton I know would have strapped Lucas down and MADE him listen to you but you let him just cast you aside? I know he's hurting but you didn't do anything wrong, you made a mistake and he needs to know what really happened!" She cried loudly, causing Peyton to swallow as Brooke stood up, waving her arms madly in the air as she paced up and down, continuing.

"You need to go over there and set things straight with him! If a slap doesn't say you didn't want a kiss then I don't know what is!...I know you really love him Peyton and I know he loves you, don't throw this chance away like I did. You have a chance to make things up with him and you have to use it before it's too late. Don't let him slip away." She said softly, surprised when she found tears welling in her own eyes.

Peyton smiled weakly and stood up.

"But what if I tell him and he still doesn't want to know?" She asked softly, the fear radiating from her eyes. Brooke sighed and placed her hands on Peyton's shoulders.

"Then he's stupid." She said with a smile.

"Brooke how did we let things get like this? How did we drift so much? I missed you." She said pulling her into a hug as Brooke blinked the tears away quickly, her heart hammering suddenly realising how stupid she was to let Lucas get in the way of them both again, if he wants to be with Peyton it shouldn't affect their friendship…

"I missed you too P.Sawyer. I can't imagine how hard things must be for you with Lucas and…everything but I am here you know."

Peyton nodded and grabbed her jacket.

"Well I'm gonna go and talk to Lucas." She said with a nervous smile, her heart racing as she just prayed with every fibre of her body that she could get him to listen to her…

She shot Brooke a smile before heading over to the door when Brooke stopped her.

"Peyton…how…how is he?" She asked softly, her eyes brimming with tears as her voice cracked ever so slightly.

Peyton swallowed, realising how hard it must be for Brooke…not talking to Lucas, not knowing how he was doing. She knew Brooke couldn't just drop her feelings for him because they weren't together and she knew the same applied to Lucas…

"He…he's managing at the moment. It's hard but he's doing okay." She said and Brooke felt a tear slip down her cheek and she nodded and smiled tearfully.

"Thanks." She whispered before Peyton nodded and left the room, stepping out into the evening air, the dark clouds massing and groaning in the sky.

She needed to find Lucas. She wasn't letting this end without a fight.

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Lucas lay in his bed and shivered as the cold raced through his body yet a film of sweat coated his flushed face as he closed his eyes, listening to the rain drumming against his window just willing his stomach to settle down and his head to stop pounding.

His throat was raw and his stomach was aching, his whole body pulsating with exhaustion after he had spent the last few hours vomiting, dry heaving and lying down to try and stop his head from spinning.

He felt truly terrible and things just seemed to feel that much worse than usual because his heart was hurting too, he didn't have Peyton with him through this and somehow that seemed to make all the difference.

He swallowed hard and sighed, closing his eyes as his head pounding and it felt like the room was spinning. He just wanted to drift off and sleep but his stomach, his head, the cold and the metallic taste in his mouth was all too much to deal with at once.

As he lay there just wishing he could disappear, that this all could end he heard a noise at his window, frowning he dismissed it as the rain and closed his eyes.

A few seconds later he heard the tapping noise again and he sat up, the room spinning slightly as he frowned and looked towards the window, what the hell was that? He slowly got to his feet, his whole body shaking with cold even underneath the thick hoodie he had pulled on. His legs feeling like jelly, he walked over to the window, pulling back the curtains and peering through the rain-soaked window.

Then he spotted her and his heart stopped. She was standing in the garden, her hair lank and soaked with rain water. She had pebbles in her hand and she was soaked to the skin, looking up at the window.

What on earth was she doing out in the rain? He thought as he stared at her in disbelief. Why was she here?

His head was telling him to just shut the curtains and go back to bed but his heart was telling him to talk to her, see what she was doing here.

He swallowed hard and let out a sigh. He didn't know what to do…

He reached out for the window handle, his hands trembling as he pulled it down and pushed open the window. The cold wind blew in immediately and droplets of rain splashed onto his face as he looked at her frowning.

"Peyton, what are you doing?" He half-shouted over the wind.

Peyton looked up at him, barely even noticing the cold and the rain as she looked at him. He had opened the window, which was a good sign. Well, better than him shutting the curtains and ignoring her. She could see how exhausted he looked, how miserable and she just wanted so much to be able to comfort him…

She walked a little closer so she didn't have to yell and brushed her wet hair from her face.

"Lucas, I need to talk to you. You have to just hear me out. Listen to what I have to say and then you can make up your own mind…please." She said, her voice trembling as she shivered and waited, her blood pumping in her ears as she waited to hear his answer…just hoping he would give her a chance.

Lucas chewed on his bottom lip and looked down at his hands. She had come all of this way in the rain…he hadn't really given her a chance to explain and…most of all, he missed her.

A few more seconds passed, the only sound passing between the two of them was the pouring rain and the howling wind, rustling through the trees.

"Okay." He said.

He grabbed another jacket and pulled it on before opening the back door and standing out on the porch watching as she walked over, still standing out in the rain.

"Lucas, I know I hurt you. I know what it must have looked like to you, you saw Jake kissing me and I would have reacted in the same way as you…but you need to understand…" She began but Lucas cut her off between shivers.

"Yeah you hurt me Peyton, what do you expect? I saw you kissing another guy and not just any guy, your ex-boyfriend!" He said angrily, his temper flaring slightly.

Peyton swallowed and looked away, she should have known this wouldn't be easy. How could she get him to trust her?

"Lucas, I know but I didn't want it! I bumped into Jake at the grocery store! We were just talking and catching up. Then, out of nowhere he just kissed me! I didn't want it, I pushed him away! I slapped him for god's sake! I have no feelings for Jake, you're the only one I love." She cried, hot tears pricking in her eyes as rain drops fell onto her face, her clothes heavy with water as Lucas frowned, shivering violently.

He stared at her, his heart beat quickening as he looked into her tear-filled hazel eyes.

"Why should I believe you Peyton? I don't know if I can…all I saw was you two kissing." He whispered, feeling weak as he stepped downwards onto the porch steps.

Peyton swept her soaking hair back again and looked up at him exasperatedly, blinking back tears as she looked up at him just willing for him to trust her.

"Lucas please. I love you, more than anyone in the world. It scares me how much I love you, because I've never felt this way about a person. I've never let myself get this close to a person and suddenly it's like I can't live without you. I love you Lucas and…and if you love me too, then you will believe me when I say…that I didn't want that kiss, I only want you." She cried, her voice cracking as tears spilled down her cheeks, mingling with the raindrops that had settled on her cheeks.

She took a shaky step forward, sobs escaping from her throat as she drew closer to him, lightning shooting across the dark sky and illuminating the word around them.

Lucas stood there, his heart racing and his heartbeat resounding in his aching head as he watched her cry, his heart aching as he just longed to reach out and pull her into his arms. He loved her, he did…and he knew that if she swore something to him, she wouldn't lie. He wanted so much to let this go, to just forget…

Why did this have to happen to them? Why couldn't everything be like it used to? He wanted it all to disappear.

"Lucas, please. You have to believe me. It meant nothing. It was a stupid mistake and if I could take it back I would, I wish I could. All I want is you Lucas. I can't be without you, look at me I'm a wreck when I don't have you!" She said, tears streaming down her face, the rain pelting down full force as Lucas closed his eyes.

He opened them again and stepped out into the rain, the drops falling fast down upon him as he looked deeply into her tear-filled eyes, his whole body trembling with apprehension as he looked at her, his mind and heart racing.

"Peyton I…I love you. I believe you." He whispered, rain drops trickling down his cheeks as Peyton smiled weakly.

"I…I'm sorry but I thought…I saw you and I thought that you didn't want to be with me, that everything going on was too much for you. All I could think about was that I was driving you away, that this was my fault. All I want is for you to be happy; I thought you'd be happier without me, without having to live through all this!" He said, tears pricking in the corners of his blazing eyes as he looked at her sadly.

She shook her head, tears and rain falling gracefully from her face as she smiled and touched his face gently with her hand.

"Don't you understand Luke? The only way I can be happy, is by being with you." She whispered with a smile.

She stood on tiptoes and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer as their lips crashed together in a passionate kiss, their arms snaking around each other as they drew closer, kissing each other hungrily as thunder and lightning rippled across the night sky.

They drew apart, both lost in each other's eyes.

"I love you." He whispered

She smiled and kissed his nose softly, tasting the rain on his skin.

"I love you too Luke."

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**A/N Well I hope you liked it! We have some more Jake coming up don't hurt me and Lucas gets some news from his doctor**


	19. Father Figure

**A/N I am SO SORRY for the delay, I wont waste your time with a long explanation all you need to know is files deleted. I think that explains some of it, doesn't make up for it but anyway. On with the chapter if I can even remember how to write. Don't expect to much, I'm trying to get back into the swing of this fic. **

Lucas sat and watched with a small smile on his face as Nathan, Skills and Junk dribbled furiously across the court, shouting at each other, the sound of the ball pounding against the asphalt bringing back memories of the days when he had the energy to pick up a ball and just play for hours. He sighed as Nathan scored any basket and held up his hands triumphantly.

He missed the game. He missed the feeling of scoring the winning basket, the cheers of the crowd, the sound of sneakers against the polished floors, Whitey yelling at them all. He missed his old life.

He suddenly felt a warm hand slip inside his and he looked across at the beautiful blonde who sat at his side, smiling serenely at him, Peyton squeezed his hand softly.

"You okay?" She asked quietly, studying his face as he swallowed and nodded, wearing a slight frown as he could feel the beginnings of a headache forming behind his eyes.

"Yeah, just thinking." He said as she leant against him, her gentle weight on his shoulder was comforting as he breathed in the sweet scent of her shampoo that still clung to her golden curls.

They sat there next to each other in silence, watching the game and sitting comfortably in each other's arms when a car drew up against the side of the court causing everyone to look up.

Nathan, recognising the car immediately dropped the ball and looked over to Lucas warningly. Lucas swallowed and shivered slightly as the wind picked up, knowing exactly who was in the car.

The car door swung open and Dan Scott stepped out onto the court, looking around the river court, his gaze finally settling on Lucas.

Lucas felt Peyton stiffen next to him as Dan drew closer, the game halting as everyone turned to watch Dan walk up the bleachers and stand in front of Lucas and Peyton.

"Hey Luke." He said with a small smile, aware of everyone's eyes fixed on him.

"Dan" Lucas said stiffly eyeing his father as he shifted uncomfortably under his gaze.

Peyton looked between the two Scotts as they stood there in silence, she gripped Lucas' hand tighter letting him know she was there. She wasn't going to let Dan upset him.

"Was there a reason you came here or were you just going to stand here all day?" Lucas asked loftily causing Dan to swallow hard and look up again, meeting his son's tired eyes.

"I…I know about you being sick Luke and I…I came here because I thought we should talk. I wanted you to know that I'm here for you if you need me." He said watching his son nervously for a reaction.

He knew they had never exactly been on the best of terms with each other and their relationship had never been simple but this had just made him realise how much he meant to him, he didn't want to lose his son and this illness was serious. What if he didn't beat this thing?

Lucas let out a long sigh, aware of a headache forming between his eyes. He lifted his eyes to meet his father's and studied him for a few seconds.

"So you're here for me are you? Like you have been all my life? Tell me Dan, if you hadn't have found out…if you didn't know I was sick, would you be here? Would you even be acknowledging me? Because I honestly think you wouldn't" He said quietly not sure why he was suddenly being so defensive.

"I understand what you mean Luke but you have to understand…I do love you. It's…it's just complicated and this…this…"

"Cancer, you can say it you know." Luke cut in coldly causing Dan to look down at the floor.

"Well it's made me realise that I could lose you Luke and I don't want to. I love you even if I might not show it. I want to be there for you." He said pleadingly, feeling an immense sense of regret. It was his fault he was being so defensive, if he had been in his life from the start he wouldn't be here begging him to let him in.

"Dan look, this is all too little to late. I don't need your help, I have my mom and Keith, I have Peyton, Nathan and Haley. They've been with me through everything but you haven't."

Dan frowned growing angry.

"But Lucas, I'm your Dad!"

"Then why don't you start acting like one! Where have you been? You cannot call yourself my father!" Lucas yelled angrily as he stood up from the bleachers.

He felt slightly light-headed as he rose, spots dancing in front of his vision but he ignored them as he glared down at Dan.

"Dad, I think you should just go." Nathan warned causing Dan to look back at his other son.

"Nathan stay out of this. Look Lucas, all I'm asking for is to be in your life- to be involved." He pleaded.

Lucas swallowed hard, feeling dizzier as he walked down a step on the bleachers.

"Look I can't talk about this now Dan. Just leave it please." He asked softly causing a lump to rise in Dan's throat.

"Lucas please!" He yelled as Lucas started to walk away from him, Peyton following worriedly behind him.

As Lucas walked away he felt Dan's arm grab his and he spun around yanking it back.

"Get off me!" He yelled stumbling backwards. As he spun he felt something in his legs weaken as his head began to fog, exhaustion eating at his bones.

"Lucas!" Peyton cried as he stumbled backwards, his legs giving out as a wave of dizziness engulfed him.

Nathan caught him before he fell and lowered him slowly into a seated position as Dan watched in horror at his weakened son.

Lucas rubbed his eyes as he sat on the asphalt, his head pounding as his vision slowly returned to normal. Peyton was crouched next to him watching him worriedly.

"Lucas are you okay?" She asked, concerned. She studied his pale complexion and his glassy eyes as he tried to focus.

"Should we call Karen?" Nathan asked but Lucas shook his head.

"No it's okay, I'm alright. I just got dizzy that's all. I think I just need to lie down or something." He mumbled feeling his cheeks flush with embarrassment.

He looked up and saw Dan standing a few metres away, his face fallen.

Nathan helped Lucas to his feet and Peyton held his hand as she continued to watch him in worry.

"Okay we'll take you back to yours then." Nathan said not looking at his father.

The teens walked off slowly towards the car leaving Dan standing alone in the middle of the court.

What had he done?

------

Lucas stared up at the ceiling from his bed and let out a sigh. He couldn't stop thinking about the things he had said to Dan. He knew he was just trying to be nice but the only reason was because he was sick. He didn't want to be pitied; he hated the thought of it.

He shivered involuntarily, it was freezing. It was a side effect of the chemo and he hated it, no matter how many layers of clothes, how many blankets he had, the cold would still find a way of edging through into his bones.

As another shiver ripped through him he felt Peyton stir next to him, she had fallen asleep half an hour earlier when they had been lying on the bed together just talking.

Since they had sorted things out between them things had been better than ever for them. She had been by his side the whole time and now that school was out she was with him all the time. She didn't patronise him or treat him as an invalid, she treated him exactly as she had before. She managed to keep his head above water when things were getting bad.

He watched her sleep with a small smile on his face. God she was so beautiful. Being careful not to disturb her, he leant forward and reached for the extra blanket at the end of the bed and pulled it over himself.

He planted a soft kiss on her forehead and sighed. He just wished they could have been together before all this. He hated the thought of being a burden to her.

She stirred again before her eyelids fluttered open revealing her beautiful hazel eyes. She looked around the room before finding him and letting a small smile slide across her face.

"Hey you" She said softly. He smiled

"Hey"

"What time is it?" She asked sitting up.

"Nearly 8." He said glancing down at his alarm clock. She nodded.

"Have you got to go to the hospital tomorrow?" She asked and he nodded

"Okay…I'm hungry. You want something to eat?" She asked sliding out of the bed.

"I fancy pizza" She said causing Lucas to wrinkle his nose.

"I don't know…the thought of cheese kinda makes my stomach go funny." He said, since the chemo he had only really been eating dry or plain food.

"Hmm…How about I order a pizza and you eat the crusts because you always take them off my plate anyway." She said with a smile causing him to laugh.

"Yeah okay, sounds good." He said smiling as she bounced out of the room to find the phone.

God he loved her sometimes, she could always make him smile.

**Sorry it was boring and nothing really happened, as I was saying getting back into things here. Expect more and better things to come and A LOT sooner. **

**Next Time: Lucas goes to the hospital and gets some bad news. Jake finds out about the cancer and Luke goes to school for a day. **


	20. Not Strong Enough

**A/N Thanks for the reviews I am grateful people are still reading! Another shortie but I hope you like it. **

As soon as the doctor walked into the room he knew it wasn't going to be good news. Whether it was the furrow of the brow, the frequent glances down at his clipboard or his unwillingness to make eye contact he didn't know, maybe all three. He just knew when he saw the pitying expression in his eyes it wasn't going to be good, he could tell Peyton knew too because she had begun to squeeze his hand even harder and it was now being held in a vice grip.

"Morning Lucas, everybody." The Doctor said with a forced smile.

"How are you feeling?" He asked directing his attention to Lucas.

"Okay, just tired really." He said wanting the Doctor to just spit it out and tell him what was going on.

"Okay, well you probably want me to cut to the chase. We got your blood work back and I'm sorry Lucas but it doesn't look good. There hasn't been any significant improvement in your white cell count." The doctor said gravely as Lucas swallowed hard, trying to process the information.

"What does that mean? Does it mean the chemo isn't working?" He stammered his voice thick in his throat.

Did this really mean he had gone through this hell for the last month or so for nothing? He had suffered through feeling like death every day and it wasn't even working?

Peyton looked across at Lucas worriedly, he looked terrified. This couldn't be happening; everything was supposed to turn out okay…

"Well it means that your body is not responding to the amount of chemo that we are currently giving you. So what we propose to do is to increase the dosage and the frequency. Also, as many of the abnormal blood cells are gathering around the spinal chord we think injecting the drugs directly into the spine will target the cells a lot quicker."

Lucas swallowed hard feeling his eyes burning slightly. More chemo, feeling worse, getting sicker. Why was this happening? It wasn't supposed to happen like this…

Karen stood up making her presence known, her mouth twitched slightly as she held back tears.

"Excuse me Doctor but this spine treatment, what effects will it have? I mean, will it be painful?" She asked worriedly not wanting her son to be in any more pain than he already had to suffer through. He was a good kid, he didn't deserve this.

"I wont sugar-coat it, it will be a painful and trying procedure each week but it does have a higher success rate. It will give Lucas more chance of beating this but I should warn you, there is a chance that he might not respond to this treatment either…In which case, the only thing we can do is a bone marrow transplant."

A blanket of silence engulfed the room as everyone sat there trying to process the information. Keith set a hand on Luke's shoulder, trying to offer him some kind of comfort whilst Peyton felt a tear roll down her cheek.

"Mr Scott will you have the treatment?" The Doctor asked softly, hating moments like this, especially with a young patient.

"I don't really have a choice." Lucas said quietly, looking down at his hands and suddenly feeling very sick.

The doctor nodded sadly.

"Okay, I'll be in later to talk about appointments etc…I'm sorry Luke." He said before leaving and the room fell into a heavy silence once more.

"Lucas…"Karen began but Lucas cut her off

"Don't, I don't want to talk about it…not yet. I…I just want to be alone for a bit. I'm tired…I'm gonna lay down." He said quietly before shifting and lying down on the bed, turning his back away from Peyton, Karen and Keith.

They looked at each other worriedly before Peyton stepped forward and placed a hand on Luke's shoulder.

"Lucas it's gonna-"

Luke shrugged her hand off and didn't turn around to face her.

"Peyton just leave it."

Withdrawing her hand, unable to wipe the hurt expression from her face she stepped back.

"Okay but I'm here when you want to talk, we all are." She whispered.

Lucas didn't reply. Sighing sadly they left the room, closing the door behind them.

As the door shut Peyton swallowed hard, tears beginning to flow rapidly down her cheeks as she let everything out. A sob hitching in her throat she walked away from the room leaving a heartbroken Karen and Keith in each other's arms.

------------------------

The journey from the hospital back to the house had been a silent one. Lucas had barely spoken a word since he had been given the news and spent most of the time staring out at nothing, a lost expression in his eyes.

Peyton couldn't stand to see him like this, he was so shut down, so scared. She wanted to be the one comforting him, telling him it was okay but he wouldn't let her in. She couldn't imagine how hard this was for him, being told that the sheer torment he had been going through for the past months wasn't even helping and now he had to go through something even more painful.

Once they had arrived he had walked straight into his room and gone straight to bed. It was tearing Karen apart seeing her son like this and Keith was barely managing to hold on and comfort her at the same time. They had all thought the chemo was working, that Lucas would be okay but a setback like this was making them all realise that there was a chance Lucas might not beat this thing- that he could die.

She couldn't face going back to her place and being alone in the large empty house. Karen had let her crash out on the sofa but without Lucas by her side she just felt like a stranger, when she was sleeping next to him she felt like she belonged here, like she had a family again.

Letting out a sigh she swung her legs around and kicked the blanket off herself and stood up. Looking around the dark living room she began to walk down the hall until she found herself standing outside of his door.

She just wanted to be there for him.

She reached out for the door handle, feeling the cool metal under her palm she twisted it slowly and silently made her way into the room.

She found him lying on his bed staring up at the ceiling, wide awake. He didn't even look at her as she entered the room, he remained staring up at the ceiling.

"Counting ceiling tiles?" She asked softly with a smile trying to break the ice. But why should she be trying to break the ice with her own boyfriend?

He didn't respond to her and she stood there in silence. She walked slowly forward, her heart racing as she looked down at him. She could see tears shining in his eyes as moonlight streamed through the gap in his curtain. She took a seat on the end of his bed.

"I'm going to die aren't I? I'm not gonna beat this." He whispered suddenly, breaking the silence.

Peyton leant forward a lump rising in her throat at the fragility of his voice.

"Lucas, don't say that. You're not going to die; you are going to beat this. You can fight it," She whispered determinedly looking into his tear filled eyes. She placed her hand over his and he broke her gaze, looking down a single tear rolling down his pale cheek.

His breath hitched slightly and he slowly drew his gaze back up to meet Peyton's.

"I'm not strong enough. I'm too tired Peyton. I'm so tired. I can't do it anymore." He whispered, his voice cracking with emotion as several more tears tracked down his cheeks. His eyes were swimming with despair.

At the sound of his broken voice Peyton felt a surge of emotion rise within her and she placed a hand on his cheek, pulling his face up to meet hers and locking her gaze on his.

"Lucas, listen to me. You can do this, you are the strongest person I know. You have to carry on fighting this, you have so much to live for, your mom, Keith, Nathan, Haley…me Lucas. What about me? I don't know what I'd do without you." She said softly, her voice trembling as he let out a strangled sob.

"Peyton its so hard…I…I'm scared. W…what if it doesn't work? I don't want to die." He sobbed.

Peyton pulled him into a fierce hug, gripping him tightly as he cried onto her shoulder-finally letting everything go.

"I wont let you Luke…I'm not letting you go." She whispered kissing the top of his head as she rocked his frail form in her arms.

"I won't let you leave."

**A/N Hope you liked it. Quite emotional to write at the end. More drama coming up soon and please tell me what you think :D**


	21. There for You

**A/N Thanks for the great reviews guys! Hope you enjoy…**

"Are you sure about this?" Karen asked Lucas for what felt like the thousandth time that morning as he shoved his books into his bag and closed the zip.

"It's okay if you're not feeling up to it, you can stay at home." She said watching him; her eyes were filled with concern. Lucas let out an exasperated sigh, he loved that his mom was there for him and cared about him so much but it could get annoying.

"Mom I told you, this is my last chance to go to school for a couple of days before I start chemo again. You know it's been ages since I've seen everyone and it will be good for me to catch up on stuff." He said grabbing a hat from the sideboard and jamming it on his head.

He may have been feeling confident enough to go to school but he didn't feel up to walking around the school halls with no hair.

"Fine if you're sure but if you start to feel bad I want you to go to the nurse or call me and I'll come and get you. Please don't overdo it Luke." She begged as he grabbed his jacket.

"I won't mom, I promise. Say bye to Keith for me." He said as he heard a carhorn outside. Peyton was there to pick him up.

He leant forward giving his mother a chaste kiss on the cheek before hurrying out of the door. Truth be told he was terrified of the prospect of a full day of school. True it would be good to see Brooke, Mouth and Skills who he hadn't been able to see as often but he didn't think he was ready to face the staring, the whispers, the pitying glances and whispers of, "that's Lucas Scott, the kid with cancer."

He spotted Peyton sitting in her car outside, her golden locks were shining in the sun and her smile made him feel slightly breathless. Knowing she would be by his side all day made him feel better.

"Hey" She said brightly as he sat in the passenger seat, dumping his back in the back. She leant forward and kissed his lips softly.

"How are you feeling?" She asked as she started the engine.

"Alright actually, tired as usual but I feel better with this break from the chemo. I'm dreading starting it again…" He said gloomily. Peyton turned on the radio blasting out rock music as she backed out of the driveway.

"Yeah, spinal needles…sound fun." She said causing him to smile weakly.

"So your mom spoke to the principal, what's going on with your classes today?" She asked. She knew he couldn't be joining classes as usual; he had missed too much school.

"I'm being put in some remedial classes so basically I'm gonna be stuck in a room with all the burnouts and exchange students." He said causing Peyton to snort.

"Have fun with that. Nah I'm sure it won't be that bad. Hey but Lunch will be good, Brooke and Mouth have been asking after you."

As they rounded the corner he saw the floods of kids walking through the gates to Tree Hill High School and he let out a sigh. This was going to be a long day.

-----------------------------

Lucas had spent the morning in calculus which wasn't as bad as he thought it would be, he could cope with the work it was just staying awake that was the problem. He was exhausted. It was good having something to do, the work was keeping him busy and he preferred it to sitting at home all day but he was moving around a lot more than he was used to and it was having its affects on him.

He was having lunch with Peyton, Nathan and Haley but mostly he was keeping himself to himself, lost in his thoughts as he tried to ignore the stares he was getting. The whispers.

"_That's Lucas Scott, he has cancer."_

"_He might die."_

"_Look he has no hair."_

"_He looks really sick"_

Worst of all he couldn't take the pitying glances everyone was giving him, feeling sorry for him. He hated it.

He was pulled out of his thoughts by Peyton flicking him on the arm.

"Earth to Lucas. Are you okay? I've been calling your name for like five minutes." She said with a smile but he could tell she was concerned.

"Sorry, I was just thinking." He said pushing the food around on his plate. He couldn't bring himself to eat it, he had been feeling nauseous all morning.

"Hey man, The Ravens have a game tomorrow. If you're feeling up to it why don't you come down?" Nathan said.

"Yeah sounds good Nate." Lucas replied.

He sighed and frowned, rubbing at his temples in an effort to rid himself of his headache.

"You okay Luke?" Peyton asked slipping her small hand into his. He knew there was no point pretending to Peyton that he was fine, she could read him like a book anyway.

"It's just a headache." He mumbled.

Peyton was about to reply when Brooke came bounding over to the table.

"Lucas hey! It's so good to see you." She said sitting down at the table.

Lucas looked up and smiled despite his headache.

"Hey Brooke." He said.

"How are you? You know being back at school." She asked

"It's okay I suppose, it's just weird being back." He said fiddling with the strap on his bag.

He could feel his stomach churning and he swallowed hard, the water draining from his mouth. He knew this feeling all to well.

Everyone seemed to notice the colour suddenly draining from his face and the green tinge to his cheeks.

"Luke…" Haley began but he was already stumbling out of his seat and quickly into the building.

He ran through the halls and burst into the bathroom before dropping to his knees in a cubicle not even having time to shut the door. His eyes watering he vomited up the small amount of food he had eaten and gasped as his throat burned. His whole body trembling as he dry heaved he felt himself break out in a cold sweat. God he felt crap.

Heaving again he became aware of someone stroking his back softly and muttering comforting words.

He leant over the toilet taking in deep shuddering breaths until he was satisfied his stomach was no longer doing somersaults. He closed his eyes and leant against the wall before cracking one eye open to find Peyton standing in front of him gazing down at him worriedly.

"Hey, you okay? You want some water?" She said holding a bottle of water out to him. He nodded weakly and took it from her, gingerly taking small sips of the cool liquid.

"Thanks." He whispered.

"You're not supposed to be in here." He said realising she was in the men's room with him. She smiled.

"Well done Einstein. Like it matters. I wasn't going to leave you in here by yourself when you're getting sick." She said getting down and sitting next to him.

"Thanks." He said softly.

She smiled.

"That's what I'm here for. You want me to take you home?" She asked

He swallowed hard, closing his eyes before nodding.

"Yes please."

Peyton smiled and got to her feet before extending a hand to help Lucas up.

"Good, I don't know how you can stand it in here. It stinks." She said wrinkling her nose causing Lucas to smile.

Peyton explained to the guys that Lucas was going home whilst Lucas took his books from his lockers. He hated feeling like this, being unable to even last one day at school without feeling like crap.

Zipping up his book he saw Peyton walking down the corridor towards him.

"Hey handsome," she said as she greeted him with a soft kiss on the lips.

"You ready?" She asked.

"Yeah, thanks for doing this Peyt." He said, slipping his arm around her waist.

"I have a free period anyway, plus I know it must suck for you having to be back here with everyone staring." She said softly, leaning against him as they walked down the hall.

"Yeah, it does pretty much suck but having you here makes it more bearable." He said kissing her on the top of the head.

"Lucas!"

Lucas turned hearing someone calling his name and was surprised to see Jake standing there. He hadn't seen Jake since he had kissed Peyton and he still wasn't sure about his feelings towards him at the moment.

"Jake." He replied blankly as Peyton looked nervously between the two of them, memories of the fight with Lucas over Jake fresh in her mind. She didn't want trouble.

"Lucas why didn't you tell me you were sick? I had to find out from some random person in my English class." He said looking slightly hurt as he stared at Lucas, taking in his appearance.

"I don't know Jake; it wasn't one of my priorities, especially after you kissed my girlfriend." Lucas said slightly coldly.

Jake swallowed.

"Look, I didn't know Lucas. I'm so sorry, I don't want things to be like this. I was your friend once and I don't want things to be ruined between us." He said sincerely causing Lucas' cold expression to soften slightly.

"Me neither but you can't blame me for being pissed off."

"No I can't."

A silence fell between the three of them before Jake looked up.

"Lucas this…this cancer…you're gonna be okay?...Right?" He asked earnestly causing Lucas to swallow and look away.

"I hope so." He said quietly.

"Anyway, we have to go Jake." Peyton said, as Jake looked across at her. Things were awkward, they hadn't spoken since the kiss.

"Oh okay, well if you need anything I'm here…" He said and Lucas nodded.

As they walked away Lucas smiled slightly.

"Well I have to say that was one of the most awkward moments of my life." He said causing Peyton to laugh.

"What? Even more awkward than threatening my dad with a rake?" She said with a grin causing Lucas to flush.

"Shutup."

**A/N Please forgive me, I know this chapter was boring but I needed a filler chapter to set up the next one and because I wanted to show Luke back at school and kind of tie up the Jake thing, although it might not be finished. Good stuff coming, sorry this sucked**

**Next Time: Lucas begins the new chemo and it makes things harder than ever, will Peyton be able to help him through it?**


	22. So Tired

**A/N Sorry for the delay, thanks for the reviews and apologies for the shortness. More coming soon! So keep reading!**

Lucas curled up on his side and bit down hard on his lip, he could barely feel Peyton's hand squeezing his tightly or his mother's hand resting on his shoulder. All he could concentrate on was the anticipation, the fear knowing that a needle was about to enter his spinal chord.

He'd felt better than ever having just that week long break of no chemo but now he was going to have to suffer through it all over again but this time it would be worse.

How could something that was supposed to be helping him make him feel so awful. Chemo made him feel like he _was_ dying.

Thinking back to last year he'd never imagined himself here, lying on a hospital bed sick with cancer, he'd never imagine himself back with Peyton either. Life just threw surprises at you like that.

"Okay Luke, we're gonna put the needle in. It's gonna be about four shots in different places on your spine okay." The nurse said.

Lucas nodded and looked up at Peyton who offered him a supportive smile. She brushed the side of his cheek softly.

He winced as he felt the sting of the needle and then there was an explosion of white hot pain as he felt it go in deeper. He bit his lip hard to keep himself from crying out but he couldn't stop his eyes watering.

He breathed raggedly as he gripped Peyton's hand tightly. He could hear his mother's soothing words but nothing could distract him from the agony in his back.

He couldn't go through this every week. He couldn't.

Peyton watched as Lucas closed his eyes against the pain and she felt tears well in her own. She couldn't stand seeing him hurt like this, she couldn't imagine the pain he must be feeling.

She didn't want to watch but she had to stay with Lucas. She couldn't imagine how hard this must be for him, being this sick. She was so scared she was going to lose him and she knew he was scared he wasn't going to beat this.

Lucas felt the second needle enter and the pain exploded again once more before everything went black.

As Lucas' eyes rolled back Peyton looked up in shock at the nurse, her eyes wide with fear.

"It's okay, he's just passed out from the pain. Most people do." She said and Peyton looked back down at Lucas' pale drawn face. Maybe it was better he had passed out.

--------------------

Lucas could hear voices.

They sounded far away.

Mumbling

"He looks really bad,"

"It was horrible, he was in so much pain."

He could hear Peyton, she sounded upset.

Was she crying?

He slowly opened his heavy eyelids and instantly regretted it. He was hit by the immense pain in his back and a blinding headache.

He let out a groan which drew everyone's attention.

Nathan, Haley, Brooke and Peyton all sat up.

"Luke? Lucas hey. How are you feeling?" Peyton asked leaning towards him.

He could see she had been crying and he immediately felt guilty.

He loved her, he really did but sometimes he wished that he didn't because he hated putting her through all this.

"Hurts." He mumbled his throat was scratchy.

"Do you want me to get the nurse?" He heard Haley ask and she shook his head and wished he hadn't as his head exploded with pain.

He was so tired.

"S'okay…hey guys." He whispered offering a tired smile.

"Hey broody, I thought I'd come and visit but it's pretty boring watching you sleep." Brooke said with a smile.

"Hey man, the team says hi," Nathan said and Lucas smiled.

He wanted to sleep but the pain in his back and head was unimaginable.

He swallowed hard and tried to push himself upright but couldn't find the strength.

"Feels like I've been hit by a truck." He mumbled.

Peyton frowned concerned.

"You scared me Luke." Peyton whispered, she rubbed her thumb gently over his hand.

"Sorry."

He swallowed again his mouth dry. He could feel his stomach churning slightly.

"Your mom is at the cafeteria, we managed to convince her to leave your side and get something to eat." Peyton said and Lucas smiled.

"Thanks, she worries too much."

"So do we." Haley said as she watched her best friend. She hated seeing him like this. He wasn't the Luke she knew, he was so fragile, so weak, worn down.

It wasn't fair that this had happened to him, he was a good person. She had cried herself to sleep in Nathan's arms worrying about him.

She just wanted him to be okay.

Lucas fiddled with the IV in his arm and sighed.

The pounding in his head wouldn't relent. The churning was getting worse.

"I bought you something Luke, I got you some magazines, a few books I've seen you reading, some music which Peyton helped to pick out so it's whatever slit my wrists crap you're listening to right now and…" Brooke trailed off seeing the look on Lucas' face as his face went a shade paler.

Before he could ask for a bowl he heaved and vomit rushed from his throat and soaked himself. Brooke leapt back from the bed as Lucas coughed and heaved again as Peyton quickly stuck a bowl in front of him.

He heaved again violently and coughed, his eyes watering with the strain as his now empty stomach continued to rebel.

Peyton rubbed his back and soothed him as he breathed out shakily, a film of sweat had formed over his forehead as he trembled.

Nathan, Haley and Brooke stood there not knowing what to do. They didn't spend as much time with Lucas as Peyton did, they weren't used to this.

Lucas looked down at the sick on himself and couldn't look anyone in the eye as his cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

"It's okay Luke, I'll help you change." Peyton said softly as Lucas struggled to blink away the moisture in his eyes, his face still flushed with humiliation.

"No, just…leave me alone." He mumbled.

"Lucas, it's okay you don't have to be…" She began but Lucas cut her off angrily.

"Embarrassed? Embarrassed that I puked over myself in front of my friends? That I can't even push myself up in bed? That I feel so shit I can't even stand?" He yelled as loud as his sore throat would allow.

He looked down at his hands his eyes blurred with tears. He wasn't going to cry…

Peyton swallowed, a lump rising painfully in her throat as she looked at the broken boy before her.

She turned back to the stunned group behind her.

"Can you guys give us a moment?" She asked her voice wavering slightly.

"Sure…we…we'll be outside." Nathan said casting a worried glance towards his brother before following the girls out of the room.

The door shut with a click and there was silence in the room.

Peyton walked slowly over to Lucas and began to pull of his top wordlessly. He let her do it, avoiding her gaze. She reached over to his bag and pulled out his hoodie. She handed it to him and he slowly began to pull it on, he winced as he moved his back and closed his eyes against the pain.

He'd put one arm through a sleeve before the other got caught, too exhausted to move he let out a cry of frustration.

"I can't even fucking dress myself! I'm so tired Peyton! I;m tired of this, I'm tired of being some sort of invalid, having no hair, feeling like shit. I can't do this…" He cried as he broke down.

Peyton rushed forward and detangled him before pulling him into a gentle embrace.

Silent tears slid down her cheeks as he broke down in her arms.

"It's okay…sshh…it's okay." She soothed as she rocked him as a child.

"I know it's hard Lucas but you have to beat this thing and I know you will. I need you Luke. I love you so much and so do those people out there. We need you." She cried as he sniffed in her arms.

"I'm just so fucking tired Peyton." He whispered brokenly.

Peyton adjusted his baseball cap and kissed him softly.

"Sleep Lucas. I love you." She said softly.

He lay back against his pillows, his eyelids growing heavier as he sniffed and weakly brushed the tears from his eyes.

"I love you." He whispered softly before slipping into sleep, his breathing evening out.

Peyton watched him and closed her eyes letting tears leak out from the corners.

She hated this.

She didn't know if she could be strong enough for the two of them.


End file.
